Today I was "out of it". I finally got to drive to school since my dad is back, so I did that. I left at lunch, got some crackers, and sat in my car in the parking lot eating crackers. Like a loser. When I bought the crackers I was standing in line behind this lady and her kid, and her kid looked really scared for some reason. I just kept staring I guess and tuned out all the noises around me. Then I just here this, "Miss...miss...MISS!" and I snap out of it and look over, "Miss, I can take you over here." My head hurts, I'm tired, and I have a stupid pain around my breast area again. Yeah, let's see how many entries I can get saying "My head hurts" My pictures are here, 125/about 200. I want to get them but I've no money, so I'll wait for my mom to get home [which should be soon] and attack her with questions. I'll be four again. "OMG MOM PLEEEEEEEEEASEEEEE PLEEEASEEEEE I'LL DO ANYTHING I SWEAR PLEEEEASSSSSSSSEE" Yeah. My sister tried to pants me last night. I was pissed beyond belief, I was not in a good mood. I started yelling at her, telling her that was immature and stupid. She rolled her eyes and laughed and my mom laughed and I told her to "shut up you stupid emo kid" and she said "shut up you stupid fat kid" Guess who got in trouble? Me. Not her. Me. I finished all my homework today so I am free of that shit this weekend. Next week is a three day week, thank god.

Fucking throat hurts. I better not fucking get sick again. I just now got over my last cold. I'm walking into the school after sixth period and this kid, Joey Taylor, is a teacher aide for the History class I'm in. He waved at me and I waved back. I'm walking off, and I'm looking at the ground and he goes, "Do you ever talk?" and I was like, "what..? why...?" and he goes, "Do you ever talk? I never hear you talk." and I go, "Uh, I'm talking now" and he goes "No, in class" and I go, "why?" and he goes, "I never hear you say anything. You laugh and stuff, but you never say anything." I go, "I'm saying something now" and he goes "NOT NOW! IN CLASS!" and I'm like, "Uhh, why?" and I walk off, and I'm at my locker and he goes, "TAAAALLLLKKK" and I go, "Make me" and he says, "I take that as a challenge, and I will make you" and I roll my eyes and go, "Yeah, whatever, good luck." Three day week...good. I might go see Final Destination 3. Jacob asked me to go, because he wants to see it, no, wait, he said he HAS to see it, but he doesn't want to go alone. Which gets me away from family, much needed. It fucking snowed today. Hard, wind blowing, snow everywhere. It made it really super icy too. The snow looked like Styrafoam. Which, of course, thinking that when walking outside gave me an idea for a poem or a line of description somewhere. I get home and there are three kittens sleeping on the stairs together, one with its arm around the other..so fucking cute. They cuddle all the time. The other times they're beating the shit out of each other. Heh.

So just now launch started playing "Drop of Jupiter" by Train. When the song first came out, my best friend at the time, Bennie, and I, named it our song. They played it on VH1's "insominac" block of music videos, and every time she would spend the night we'd listen to that song, and "Drive" by Incubus, and "Follow me" by Uncle Kracker. Those songs always bring back memories of her and I. I remember when we'd go to the pool and that song came on, we'd duck under the water and listen to it. It took us six months to figure out that we could just float on the top with our ears in the water and listen. After the pool we'd get dressed and we'd go to Burger King. We got these Men in Black sunglasses and put them on. It was a cloudy day. I couldn't really see, she was laughing and would go, "There's a pole Jess" when I wasn't even close to hitting it. Those were the last few days she was here. We went camping at Birch Lake. It was fun. We took fold out chairs and put them in the lake and sat down. We kept daring each other to go out farther and farther until eventually we couldn't touch the ground. It was there I first saw the movie "Pleasantville". Such a great movie. We laughed a lot together. When she moved she called me, said she was leaving now and she'd miss me. I was about to get in the shower. The thing is, I didn't cry. I knew she was moving and we had a great last week together. But I felt I had to cry so I forced myself to.

Launch player is great. New songs and artists I haven't heard before. I stick to the coffee house station. Good stuff there. My room is clean. I like it when it's clean. I like days like this. Days where I don't have to do anything but I'm not really being lazy. The window is open, I have natural light coming in [which is slowly going away], the candle is making my room smell nice. Yep. Ever have one of those random feelings where it's just like, "Man, this feels like summer"? I like those feelings. Or when I'm just walking around, and I'm looking around, I might have some music on, I'm by myself. Then I just get this feeling like, "Damn, I feel like I'm in a movie" and then I start to laugh and people are looking at me funny, not many people laugh by themselves. It's just an odd feeling, feeling like you're in a movie. My shirt says, "I wish you were a pinata". It makes me laugh.