omg! mine n eric's 2 YEAR anniversary is in 20 days! he told me like 2 weeks ago he wants these skateboardin shoes...and they r like $80 after s&h n everything, so...i just now ordered his shoes with my credit card. i'm happy because i like being able to get him the things he wants...but every time i use my credit card, i feel all antsy. maybe it's just cuz i'm a beginner at these things. it dont bother me at all to use my debit card...but the credit card is a whole other story. i still need to get him a card..of course. and i wanna try to get him like one more thing, nothing expensive...the shoes took care of that, but maybe some thing that costs like $20 or so. i need creative friends with grand ideas. cassie and heather r losing their touch. cassie's b/d is that same week as our anniversary, so i think i might just like, get her like, a...oh yeah. i forgot that she might read this. nevermind! lol. and no cassiem i didnt plan that just to tease u, i really did forget. well...thats all for now. i had a great weekend, me n eric lived the married life. i'll write bout that in my next entry though. if anybody reads this n has n e ideas for one more gift for him...please leave a comment and tell me all of ur wonderful grand ideas! lol. bye everyone!

well now...that is the last time i ever wish for more excitement in my life. wednesday night, on my way home from eric's house, before i even got out of his neightborhood i got pulled over. them damn audubon park cops piss me off. he pulled me over because he said i didnt stop at the stop sign. well now, hes just blind. i DID stop. i just stopped and then went, instead of waiting and looking and everything, but it's not like there were any other cars around, its a freakin' side street at 10 p.m. come on now! so, he gave me a ticket. $150. i dont have that much money! i got paid today, and after i paid my other bills, i only have $70...and that's for 2 WEEKS! what the hell am i gonna do??? mine and eric's 2 year anniversary is in 1 month exactly, and i was plannin on spendin bout $200 or something on him. and my best friend's birthday is like a week after our anniversary! what am i gonna do? i'm not gonna be able to get eric or her anything! i feel so horrible! eric left thursday for pennsylvania with his family. i am so upset. this is craziness. he'll be back in a week and i miss him like crazy. i really dont know how people can handle long-distance relationships. eric lives near me and is only gone for a week, and i miss him so much. how in the hell can people stand living so far apart and only seeing each other for like a week? thats just nuts. i would lose my mind! well, i'm gonna go back to being crazy! goodnight everyone!

hmm, it's been like a week. i'm tryin to think if anything has really happened that would be of interest. i've stayed with eric several nights during the past week. nothing fun happened though considerin we both always have to go to work. he went out with his dad and signed papers and stuff and bought a 1999 black mountaineer. but his dad took it back to the carlot because before he even got home (he had to drive it home because eric was still at work) the AC quit workin and something to do with the wiring messed up...so his dad was like, nope! not happenin. but now i wonder what eric's gonna do because he was gonna go to pennsylvania w/ his family to visit his other family but he was only gonna go if he got his car in time..well, now he aint got the car and they are supposed to be leaving tomorrow morning! as of right now, i'm guessin he's probably not gonna go because he wont ride in the car with his mom, dad, and brother. he says her car is too little and he aint gonna ride in the backseat. well...thats really all thats happened. oh...i spent 3 hours saturday getting my hair done. all they did was re-highlight my roots and dye part of the back of my hair and trimmed it a little bit, i was so tired...i spent my whole afternoon sitting in a chair. that was horrible. but i like my hair now! okay,well i guess thats about it for now. hopefully something more interesting will occur and then whoever actually read's this will find it funny or whatever! bye!

in my last entry i was sore and needed a massage and i just wanted to give an explanation since someone asked y was i sore. even though i am skinny, i want to tone up my muscles so i have been exercising alot and plan to be getting carmen electra's striptease aerobics here very soon. also, being out of shape, makes my muscles hurt that much more. so there's the explanation. ********************************************** i love eric so much.i really would wanna marry him someday. but sometimes i wonder if he truly loves me like he says. or...if he just says it b/c i'm his first love. i mean...technically he's my first true love too, but i know i really do love him cuz it hurts so bad when we break up and when we argue. i hate it. but i love the thought of being with him for the rest of my life. i have a problem. mine and eric's 2 year anniversary is coming up, and i dont have a clue in the world what to get him. i want to get him something special, something that he'll actually like. not something u would get a guy for like, their b-day or x-mas...this is a really big thing. i mean, we've been together for 2 YEARS! that is a long ass time. if anyone has any ideas on something i can get him (something under like, $200), please let me know. i'm not too good with coming up with ideas for gifts. thanks so much! ********************************************** foxxy66: how do u get backgrounds and pictures like that? like, how do u make it so that u can put ur pic in the top left corner, and put pics and backgrounds on ur journal? i'd really appreciate u or someone else letting me know. thx!

i need a massage!

la dee da! i havent wrote in a couple days. thats not good. thats how it started with my other journal b4 i totally quit writing in it. i think i need to write in it tonight so my other friends can know whats been going on. hmmm.... i stayed the night with eric on wednesday...i think, maybe it was thursday...no it was wednesday. and i also stayed on saturday and sunday. monday i hung out with him like all day and then came home that night...i was supposed to go to work today and i had every intention of going, but my mom tried waking me up at 5:30 this morning and i was like..uhhhh, i'll work friday instead. so now i HAVE to work tomorrow, thursday, and friday, whether i want to or not. but thats fine cuz eric has to work weds.-sat. so it'll give me something to do during the day besides sit on my butt and be bored. i need to find another job. when school starts back up, the way my schedule is set up, i'm not gonna be able to work where i am right now. i need to find something with evening and weekend hours. rather than just morning and afternoon hours. oh well. i'm not gonna dwell on work right now. i love eric so much. he's so awesome. we've been kinda bickering a lil bit the past couple days but nothing too serious...i'm spoiled rotten and too cute for him to stay mad at for long....lol. alrighty then...thats gonna be about all. i have a question...i've noticed that some people have pictures in their journals...like up where their name and age and stuff is...how do u do that? i tried to figure it out and, it didnt work. so if anyone knows, please help. thanks a bunch! :)

i'm so bored. yesterday i went to eric's and hung out with him and max all day. then i came home and went to bed since i had to go to work this mornin. the day before yesterday, i went to eric's and hung out with just him. he was sick cuz the night before he drank too much and threw up for the 1st time from drinking. haha. thats what he gets. today i went to work and came home. i'm sittin here copying cd's onto my comp so that i can give them back to the girl that they belong to. umm, i just got off the phone with eric and all day he's been in a good mood and bein real cool and everything and then all of a sudden he got all upset and got off the phone. and i wouldnt say bye cuz i didnt understand y he was actin like that and so he just hung up. and i tried callin back like, twice and he didnt answer so i'm gonna wait bout 20 more minutes and then call him again. maybe he'll be done bein an asshole for the day. okay, well hasnt nuthin for real happened around here so i'm gonna end this now. later!

yeah so i'm feelin a lil better now. one of my friends that i havent talked to in a few months went with me to get a movie and we got to catch up on things. while we were out we saw jessica...the girl i hate like...tons! well, i was in bitch mode so i rode past her house to see if she had went home and she was standin outside with a group of people and my friend said that she was all starin at us n shit and so as i was turnin the corner (she lives like right by the corner) i yelled at my window at her...but now, i dont even remember what i said. im pretty sure it wasnt too friendly though, my adrenaline was pumpin and i was ready for her to try to pull something cuz i woulda hit her dead in her mouth without any hesitation! okay. all done venting now. g2g!

eric is being such an asshole right now. he just got home from work like 1/2 hour ago, and i've been waitin all day for him to get off work cuz he's been tellin me that i was gonna come over, i just wanted to see him. and now, of course, he choosin to go hang out with his friends AGAIN. i think i've probably seen him like, once this whole week. and he keeps hangin up on me. and he doesnt seem to care that he's hurting my feelings or that i'm cryin. sometimes i wish i had never gotten into a relationship with him. that i had never liked him or loved him, and sometimes i even wish i had never met him. i just dont understand. what is it that he can do with him friends that he cant do with me? talk to other girls? try to holla at them, get their numbers??? thats the only things I can think of. since lately all he's really been wanting to do is hang out with his friends, what does that mean? does it mean that he doesnt wanna be with me n e more? that he doesnt love me? that he wants to talk to other girls? that i'm not good enough n e more? WHAT????????????????????????????????? i just dont get it. and i'm so sick of cryin over him but i cant break up with him. it hurts to even think about me without him. that why i get so upset when he does this shit. sometimes i feel like i have to compete with his friends to get him to be with me, and of course most of the time, i lose. i'm done for now. i gotta quit cryin. my mom can always tell if i've been cryin. i try to keep things like this a secret. sometimes after i'm calm and i think about it, i realize its not that big of a deal. maybe i'm overreacting now. i dont think i am though. i think i have every right to be upset. is it so wrong for me to wanna spend some time with my boyfriend? hell, we can even hang out with a group of his friends...i dont care. as long as i'm with him!

ugh...people really upset me. i've been needin an oil change in my car for like...several months and i got paid today and i have the money and now...my mom wont go get an oil change in my car!!!!!!! argh! and then when i was on my way home from gettin gas, i had to stop cuz there was a car that was turning and the car behind me continuously keeps tryin to fly past me and shit and i was just like, y dont u slow the fuck down...damn it. ********************************************** okay, i'm better now. eric got paid today also...he's supposed to be takin me out to dinner tonight. dont know where though...well, he said if he has enough money...cuz he wont get his check till he clocks out tonight. sure hope he has some money. i'm hungry. i'm thinkin bout goin up the street and gettin a pop tart...the brown sugar kind. i've been sorta cravin one of those for like a week. weird. i need to get me some new walkin shoes so i can go to the park and walk like, 5 miles again. so i can lose more weight, considerin i gained back like, 1/2 of what i originally lost. that sucks real bad but oh well. i dont really need to lose weight. i only weigh 131 lbs. and i'm like 5'4" or 5'5". i need to do some sit-ups so i can tone up and get me a 6-pk...lol. yeah right. i feel so weird right now. like not in a bad way though. i just feel goofy/silly, like a lil kid or something. haha. thats fun. okay, i think thats enough for now. p.s. xgreatromances...how old r u really?

oh my goodness. as of yesterday, me and eric have been together for a year and ten months! i remember the very first time i talked to him on the phone when he was at seans house...i hated his guts. he pissed me off so bad. he was a smart ass. but then i remember the very first time i actually met eric in person. i thought he was so cute and i was so shy that i told him and sean that i wasnt me...i told them my name was stephanie. eric was so funny that day. then we were just friends even though i wanted to try to be more, but we lived too far (only 15 minutes but neither of us had cars or licenses at the time) and plus i figured he liked my, at the time, best friend more than me. then, when i started hangin out over at seans house with sean, eric wanted to date me. and at first i didnt wanna date him. i dont know why though. i guess maybe because i was so used to hangin out with 'wiggers' and bein a lil ghetto girl and playin all the guys and everything. eric was just, so...none of that. he was like, the complete opposite somehow. the first few months were really rough. we broke up like everyday, we'd get into huge arguments where we would walk to the corner and scream at each other. and then, when we had been goin out for 2 months, i finally kissed him. for some reason i couldnt do it before then. i dont know why. i wasnt nerous or n e thing. i dont know. it was just weird. now look at us. we've been together for almost 2 years, off and on again, but 2 years nonetheless. i love him so much. i really do plan on marrying him someday. he's says the same, i only hope he actually means it. i know everyone is probably thinkin i'm too young to even be thinkin about marriage, but i'm not. i mean, it's not like i'm plannin on gettin married next year, it'll be quite a few more years before i get married. but why shouldnt i go ahead and dream of marryin eric someday in the future if thats what i want? he makes me so happy and he spoils me! i really do love him. if this isn't true love, i dont know what is! sorry if this entry has seemed boring. i dont really think anybody's been readin it anyways. if you've been readin my journal, please comment and let me know something about yourself.

man man man... these girls just dont know how to stop do they??? first, i find out one girl is runnin her mouth about me behind my back..to my COUSIN... then i find out that a 2nd girl has been apparently sayin me and my boyfriend r both psychotic and had told my boyfriend i went off on her...honey, u aint seen me mad yet, if u want me to go off on u, just keep runnin it...THEN while i'm sittin at eric's house, eric was on the floor, i was in the chair, and his friend will was on the couch. well, apparently a red mustang went past and eric said it wasnt jessica because he didnt see the euro lights, but will says it was her because he seen her in the car lookin at eric's house. well, whoever it was had blown their horn, and if it was indeed jessica, then she had blown it at eric's house. well...she just really doesnt wanna go there because if she's gonna try and do some bullshit like that, then it IS gonna be on and she can walk a block and ask the 2nd girl bout me and find out that i'm 'psychotic' and the 2nd girl can also let jessica know that if it comes down to it, me and her WILL have words, and if i have to, i will go over the bitch's house, and knock on her door, and drag her outside and beat the fuck outta her! now...these bitch's aint doin nothin but linin themselves up for an ass-woopin! they dont wanna keep it up cuz i aint playin with them. i been tryin to put all 3 of them behind me...the mature thing to do, and they keep bein more and more immature and i have a short fuse and a horrible temper. they really dont wanna set me off. ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate stupid idiotic nappy-headed skanky slutty lil bitchs! they piss me off so bad! damn it! okay. i think i'm gonna quit ventin on here now. if i dont i might end up writin all night! good night everyone!

today is father's day. kinda sucks...my dad is in jail, he hasnt called today. my papaw he's dead, me and my mom just went to the cemetery to see him. i miss him alot, he was a good guy. i wish he was still here. ********************************************** right now, i'm talkin to an old friend online...havent talked to him in awhile. he's pretty cool. i used to go out with him but then there was a lot of drama that happened when he went to jcyc. ummm, i miss talkin to him, he's fun to talk to and makes me laugh. ********************************************** i'm really bored. eric's shreddin, cassie's prolly at her dad's, heather...i dont have a clue where heather is. i hate being bored. i want some pistachios. for anybody that doesnt know what a pistachio is or has never tried them, they r really yummy nuts....but they r a lil bit expensive, not too bad, but just a lil. well, i guess thats enough rambling for now. later!

lets see here, this is my first entry...in this journal, i have another journal at LiveJournal.com, i need to make sure i update it when i update this. i'm really bored right now, i'm waitin on 630 to get here cuz thats when im leavin to go over eric's. right now him and will are supposedly shreddin, or w.e. ummm, i found out yesterday that mia is or was sayin stuff bout me and eric being psychotic and shit. i'm assuming she's reffering to when i knocked on her door when eric was over there (we were broke up at the time). at one point not long after that she had also told eric that i went off on her when she answered the door. fuck her. she aint nothing but a nappy headed ugly ass lyin bitch. the only thing i said to her when she came to the door was "i need to talk to eric" and i was actually even tryin to be a tid bit nice to her cuz the only person i felt like fightin with then was eric. but ya know something? if she wants to run it, then she can keep it up, and when she's got the balls to say something directly to me, instead of behind my back, then i'll do something about. new topic: when i was at speedway today gettin gas, eric, steven, lauren, and bobby were up there and these girls were leavin from the pumps as we were walkin back to my car. well, eric was behind me with his arms round my shoulders and i still had on my work clothes, meaning i had on my boots...and these 2 girls, were starin at him like no other. so i was fuckin wit him and i was all like, mm hmm, i seen u starin at them,and he was like no! they were starin at me, and i was all like yeah i know, i'll kick them bitches in the face........with my boots on! i dont know. it was funny when it happened. i guess it was a "you had to be there" moment. well, i guess this should be enough for my first entry.