so this summer was great. absolutely wonderful. and let me tell you why: i guess you could say that i found myself. i spent a lot of time away from my friends and away from home and i enjoyed it beyond explanation. i was with my cousins like basicaly all summer and it couldnt have been better. i even made a new best friend: Hannah(not saying that Mandy is out, just saying that i love the both of them). woowweee i love that girl. me and her bonded so much over the summer, and in a course of about 2 weeks!! its actually amazing. anywho, i found myself, i learned things about myself that i never knew, i got to be independent, i got to make my own choices, i learned from my experiences, i tried new things, i succeeded, i had so many great opportunities, i overcame a lot of my fears, i met new people, but most importantly i was with the people who make me feel special, i felt loved, i felt like i was part of the group, i enjoyed myself so much, and i really hope that next year is the same way. i truly cannot wait until next summer - if i can offer one bit of advice to all that reads this: take time out to see who you really are, and who you want to be. be yourself and have a fun time doing it... simplicity = love

life with drew is the best. <33333

hello hello. i have the best news in the world.....DREW IS MOVING BACK!!!! i am so beyond stoked right now. i can't even contain myself. im still like jumping around the house im so excited.!!!!.!.!. its been so long since i've written in this thing. so i'll have to tell you how this came about. the people who moved into drew's old house didn't like the house, so they decided to sell it. i was like well at least i'll have another chance to have someone cool to hang with. ya know? yeah so then like 2 days later i saw a sold sign in the front yard. and a car parked in the driveway. it looked familiar so i went to the front door to see who it was and guess who was standing there.....DREW WITH A BIG SUITCASE!!! i screamed and threw myself onto him, i almost knocked him over. lol. he held me for a few seconds and those seconds were so awesome. he put me down and gave me a peck on the cheek and said that he was here to stay. i was so happy i couldn't say anything. he said that his parents had just left to go meet the moving truck somewhere, but i dont even remember listening to where. i was just looking into those eyes of his. man o man. i do remember him suggesting that we go in the backyard, where we had also spent those precious moments before. so we were sitting looking at his new/old house hand in hand, and he leaned in a kissed me. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh drew's back!!!!

i am oh so bored. totally -- i never thought i'd actually be at home alone on a friday night. see, i would normally be pissed, but im too bored right now to be anything but hungry - if that makes any sense at all. SAVE ME!! i talked to drew earlier today. doin well. i miss that kid. we had fun when he surprised me with a visit!! he just showed up and i didn't know what to do with myself i was so excited. he looks cuter than ever, his hair has gotten longer and (it may just be me) he looks a little taller even. and a whole lot more toned. mmhm. thats my drew. what all did we do?...lets see he took me to lunch, umm we hung out with everybody. then we hung out just the 2 of us. me and drew reunited. it happened again: we were sitting behind my house and his old house and we were just talking. he turned to me and starting saying how much he really truly misses me. he misses just having me around and to talk to and to see everyday. it was so sweet. and then he said that hes been with a few girls from his new school and the only thing he has found out is how much he still feels for me. lemme tell ya: i was absolutely stunned. i had no idea what to say. cause like all this crap has gone on since drew left - like me and corey are over :-(, and now jesse has come along and all this stuff. and i really miss him too. i guess what im tryin to say is it took us this long to figure out that we want each other. no one else. i mean jesse is great and everything but hes not what i want right now, and sure i miss corey - after being that long and involved any girl would!! but drew. theres just something about that kid that i just love to death, and im starting to see it, he sees me as a more than just a girl he can get his hands on...he sees me as MJ "the girl next door". haha. fits nicely, yeah? but i don't know. oh yeah, and we kissed again. i think thats a pretty big signal to us. i hated to see him go, but i guess this way we can really see if we were meant to be together......<3333

I WANT:: him I HAVE:: the coolest best friend ever I WISH:: summer was year round I HATE:: school I MISS:: my cousins I FEAR:: FISH. but im trying to get over that I SEARCH:: uhhh I WONDER:: not a lot I REGRET:: a whole lot I LOVE:: my cousins :) great times I ACHE:: umm i dont I ALWAYS:: turn on simple plan when im sad I AM NOT:: who most people think i am I DANCE:: ALL THE EFFING TIME I SING:: umm im not so good I CRY:: not a whole lot I AM NOT ALWAYS:: all the way there I WRITE:: a lot I CONFUSE:: myself and almost everyone else I NEED:: attention :-) 9 People I Enjoy The Company Of: 1. mandy 2. nick 3. allen 4. jesse 5. aleise 6. tori 7. candace 8. tilly 9. tanner SECTION 1 [YOU.] + your name: MJ + your gender: female + age: 15 almost 16 + height: 5'1 + hair color: brown. with red + eye color: blue + your location: stupidest place ever + fears: fish. SECTION 2 [ HAVE YOU EVER ] + peed your pants? yeah + cheated on someone? na + fallen off the bed? uh huh + fallen for a relative? eww no way + had plastic surgery? na + broke someone's heart? i don't know + had your heart broken? yes yes + had a dream come true? umm kinda + done something you regret? yeah!!! + cheated on a test? yes + broken a body part? yes SECTION 3 [ CURRENTLY] + wearing - jeans and a tshirt from Zbuzz + listening to - nothing + chewing - minty fresh gum + feeling - really tired + reading - this thingy + located - on my butt + chatting with - mandy!!! + watching - the screen + should REALLY be - studying for algebra SECTION 4 [ DO YOU... ] + brush your teeth? uhh yeah + like anybody? yes yes!! + have any piercings? yuh + drive? almost got my license! + believe in Santa Claus? hmmm. sure why not + ever get off the computer? yeah SECTION 6 [ THE LAST PERSON YOU...] + hugged - andy + IMed - mandy + talked to on the phone - ma + yelled at - mitch + fell in love with - ummm + tripped - no one, i get tripped + turned down - uhh can't remember? SECTION 7 [ THIS OR THAT] + Pierced nose or tongue? nose please + Be serious or funny? funny + Single or taken? single, CALL ME ;-) + Simple or Complicated? simple + Law or anarchy? law + MTV or BET? MTV + 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? ugh, neither + Sugar or salt? sugar!!!! + Silver or gold? silver + Tongue or belly button ring? belly + Chocolate or flowers? tigerlillies please + Angels or miracles? angels + Color or Black-and-white photos? black and white + Sunrise or sunset?sunrise, a whole new day + M&M's or Skittles? skittles + Rap or Rock? rock (rap only if its lil wyte) + Stay up late or sleep in? stay up late + TV or radio? tv + Hot or cold? hot + Taller members of the opposite sex or shorter? TALLER ALWAYS TALLER + Sun or moon? sunshine!! + Diamond or Ruby? diamond, mhmm + Left or Right? i'll take left + 10 acquaintances or one best friend? my best friend + Vanilla or chocolate? chocolate. + Kids or no kids? uhhh depends + Cat or dog? DOG, only big ones + Half-empty or Half-full? thats too confusing + Mustard or ketchup? both + Newspaper or Magazine? magazine + Spring or Fall? spring. cause summer is still to come + Give or receive? both + Rain or snow? RAIN + Lace or satin? lace + A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? friendship always + Happy or sad? happy + Corduroy or plaid? eww neither + Wonder or amazement? amazement + sneakers or sandals? FLIP FLOPS + McDonald's or Burger King? thats a negatory + Mexican or Italian food? italian + Lights on or off? off + Duct tape or scotch tape? glue + Candy or soda? soda, dr pepper please + A house in the woods or the city? i dunno + Pepsi or Coke? i already said dr. pepper + Nike or ADIDAS? CONVERSE

think: how much do you love me?¿ .....a couple was riding on the guy's motorcycle..... Girl: Im scared Boy: Then take off my helmet and you wear it Boy: Do you love me Girl: Of coarse Boy: Then hug me close The point of that was that the next day in the news paper, there was a motorcycle accident. Two people, one lived one died. The boy died but moments before the accident the boy noticed that his brakes didnt work. Knowing that he gave his helmet to his girlfriend and he asked for one more hug. Now would you do that for the person you loved? he died for her

yeah, its official, me and corey are over. i went over to his house on thursday. we started talking and we decided that we had had enough of each other and we just needed someone new. i couldn't take it any more, he just wasn't the same. i still don't know why he changed but he sure did. and i didn't like it. so thats all there is to it. hopefully someone new will come my way..... or maybe they already have? is it bad that i already have someone new that i got my eye on? i mean its not like im not sad over corey. cause believe me I AM. i thought we were going to last a lifetime. but ya know, when its over its over, thats all i can say. sooooooooo i met this guy on friday. his name is jesse. he's so funny and so sweet and i just wanna eat him up!! aah!. but anyways. he invited me to go to the club with him on saturday. it was fun, i must say. it was nice to have someone new to have put his arm around you. :-). if you can't tell, i enjoyed myself. tehehe. i hope i'll be writing a lot more about jesse on this thing. OH and another thing happened. i had started to worry and miss drew a whole lot. cause i hadn't heard from him in forever. no phone calls, he was never online or anything. but then last weekend he all the sudden showed up at mandy's house when i was there!!! i couldn't believe it! i was so freaking surprised i almost fell over. when mandy opened the door she squealed and called me in there so i came up the stairs to find none other than, DREW, MY HUNK!! oh goodness. i had forgotten how much i love that kid. we went out and partied of course. he said that him and his girlie split. i didn't catch the full story though. i'll have to keep in touch better, huh. oh how i love that boy. hes a hunk. ok well i'll stop blabbing for now later, mmmmmmmmmmmjjjjjjjjjjjjjj <33333

"her little cousin just passed out on the lawn" yes yes yes. umm so whats up. im not feelin so great. no my nose isn't runny, no my head doesn't hurt, no im not gunna barf: my heart hurts. :-( i miss nick and allen. too much. way too much. i wish i could have gone home with them. i hate it here. i just wanna go away. Corey isn't being the same. and i hate him for it. he's not looking at me the same. his hugs aren't the same and there aren't as many kisses. and he got really pissed at me for talking about nick and allen the other day. i was really hurt. he completely got up and walked off. i don't know why he got mad??? and then after that he was walking towards me and then all the sudden tanner walked up and wispered that he passed the test that i helped him with. (so now he can try out for spring sports, thats the first time i've ever done that for someone)i was so happy! i jumped and gave him a big hug and corey saw it. he didn't even give me a chance to tell him why i hugged tanner. i mean he certainly shouldn't be jealous over that. i mean Corey should know how i feel about him. i dunno, maybe i should just not talk about them around him. but thats sorta not fair for me ya know? i dont know. maybe tomorrow will be ok. since i have to go to school and everything. AH!! i hate it. i am so pissed at everyone. me and mandy are. it seems like whenever someone says something i just wanna smash their head into the wall. i need a break. a serious break. fuck everyone fuck them. i am so sick of everything. corey please forgive me. i really don't want you to be mad at me. whatever

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaats uuuuuuuup? christmas was good for me christmas eve we all went to my grandparents' house for dinner. my cousins were there.....i love my cousins. hahaha - jane is so funny, we are having a lot of fun together. she's 15, too. cam on the other hand is one heck of a handfull. wooo! he's only 7. then theres nick.....he's 20 and he brought his friend allen with him. who is also 20. allen is hot. all there is to it. nick is soooooooooo nice, i love him. and allen is hilarious. and like i said, hottttttt. umm yeah but anyways - then christmas day we all ate here, at my house, and me and jane were hangin out with nick and allen. lol those guys are hilarious. nick brought in his cd's, unedited lemme tell ya, and allen was makin us dance and stuff. it was soooooooooo funny. well of course ya know me and jane were shakin it like jello. haha - allen was a little surprised that we could do that. then allen and nick started drinking and it got funnier by the minute. man those guys loosened up. i have never seen a guy dance like allen did, it was the funniest thing ever!!! and jane was taking pictures with her phone - she got some doozies! it was weird though cause every once in a while i'd glance at allen and he'd look at me really seriously. hmm. and then he'd either look away really fast or smile.?? oh well he's hot. yeah ..... i ended up giving allen a mini lap dance. hahahahah it was great later

im sick and it sucks but Corey took care of me ..... hahaha he's so sweet i can't wait til christmas, i love it. me and corey are going downtown one night. we're gunna have fun. the club is having this little thing for christmas, its gunna be free. yay! no money. corey says he has a surprise for me. im nervous, i hope its nothing expensive or anything like that. oh well, i'll be happy just to be with him. i finally decided: i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him!!! we've been together for long enough to know that and he's told me that a million times and i think its time i returned the favor. he really showed me that he does love me. he's done so much for me, but thats not it. he told me he loves the way i am more than anything and he said it meaningfully. he said that the way i think and the things i come up with are either hilarious or just blow him away. is that not the cutest? ah man. he's so great. i hope we never do anything to hurt each other..... later, MJ

so damn hot but so young <3 you say i'm beautiful on the outside you say you love me but until you say i'm beautiful on the inside i won't love you back tell me you like me tell me you want me but don't tell me you love me *take a peek inside, you might change your mind* you get me by liking my oustide you keep me by loving my inside please keep me

have you ever longed for someone's touch? just that person only his face is the only one you want to see his laugh is the only one you want to hear you want to watch him chew his gum in that one particular way that he does the comfort of his hand in yours the beat of his heart against your ear makes you want to cry you'd be happy if there was no one else in the world but him the way his eyes shine when they spot you leaving his side would never be a thought the feeling of your knees falling out from under you is familiar breathing is like a gift he gives to you his arms are home to you he takes care of you, he wants you he loves you i need him

she's at your feet i'm in your heart tell the secrets spread the lies you'll go down with that look in your eyes well then marry me if you'd marry me she'd be over and done with i'm not ok, i'm not ok just go on, marry me give yourself up our pages are gone the looks of passer-by's break your heart in two you'll go down with that look in your eyes well then marry me if you'd marry me she'd be over and done with i'm ok, i'm ok just go on, marry me love me in all the ways you can say goodnight throw your hate out the window say so long gaze into my eyes for all time say goodnight run around til you break down say so long and goodnight

i can't stand it when people worry more about other people than their own lives, its like, come on get a life! it makes you seem like you have nothing better to do. you're time could be spent much better making friends than losing friends. and another thing i hate it when people get so jealous over nothing. another guy moved in where drew used to live, right next to me - jack. we spent most of saturday together, hanging out and getting to know each other. that night Corey took me to the boardwalk. he was acting really weird, though. he was unusually quiet and would look at me as though he were trying to find something. something that i'm trying to hide. he was worried that something more than "haning out" happened on saturday. i can assure him it didn't. Corey is who i want right now - i wouldn't do anything like that to him. i couldn't believe he didn't truly believe me. i know he said he trusted me, but i'm not sure thats how he felt. it bothers me. i'll just have to make it up to him somehow. hmm. anyways.....we're playing at a club downtown saturday night for Halloween, i guess. a lot of people are coming. including Corey. i'm going to invite Jack so he can get into "our group" and Corey can just understand that Jack is my friend and he's going to be hanging around a lot more. he's going to have to learn to trust me, and to have faith in me. i don't think i have to prove it to him. but after we play on saturday, its gunna be just me and Corey. well thats all for now later *MJ

i was just happy today. which was a nice change. sorry i haven't written in forever, if you do actually read this. haha. anyways..... yeah we went to southern cali last weekend, it was pretty cool. i missed corey. I went to homecoming with Drew. it was the best. i haven't realized how much i really miss him. i miss that boy. he was like my everything. his girly is so cute. shes really sweet and was cool about me going with Drew. very neato. we had the best time, danced the night away. and partied..... Going to the game tomorrow again with Mandy, me and her are inseparable these days. its great. tyson may have cheated on her. she was crushed when she heard that it might be true. i don't think she got the whole story though, tyson just wouldn't do that to her. not mandy. they are too good for that. i know Corey wouldn't do that to me. he "loves" me too much. its not that i don't like him saying it, its just when you're 15, you don't really know what love is yet. i mean, i don't think i know what its really all about. its really comforting to have him think of me that way and to feel that strongly about me, but i don't think he truly truly loves me. love is too strong of a word to describe anything at 15. ya know? well maybe not, but thats just how i see it. i think we're gunna go back to the boardwalk on saturday. i can't wait. hes great. i just can't keep my eyes off of him. with his lip ring and all. haha. he snuk (however you spell it) up on me and laid one on each cheek today. lol so sweet. the band is kind of dead right now, maybe we'll get a last minute call for this weekend. hopefully. but i still have so much fun with those guys. hah great memories. well thats all for now.....later *MJ .....One Solution

if i was mean to you today or snapped at you or something stupid like that....im sorry. just a bad day. i was in one of those moods where if anyone and i mean ANYONE got in your way, you'd take them down.yeah thats how it was. Corey made me feel better, though. like he usually does. just his smile makes me feel better. he came up behind me and laid one on me. it was nice. the game was fun. Corey is sweet as usaual. i love him. he's so great. sorry, gushing again. yeah tons of people were at the game on friday. mandy, tyson, tess, jesse, dan, bryce, katie, LG, landon, and more. losta fun. we won too!! yay. umm yeah. tyson and mandy are cool now. i told you it wouldn't last long at all.now they are all kissy kissy again. haha. love ya mandy. so anyways.....LG won her game. she was so happy. haha, GREAT JOB! i wanna go back to Warped Tour sooooooooooo bad. i love it. its heaven.....:-). hopefully simple plan will be there next year!! i still can't believe they bailed. ugh fags. but gotta love them. maybe Corey will come with us next year, and tyson too. that would be wicked cool. yeah me and Corey went out again on saturday. we went downtown, listened to the bands for a while, then he took me down to the board walk. it was so nice. we walked and stuff. do you ever get the feeling of security when someone special puts their arm around you? it doesn't feel the same with anyone else. just them. yeah.....Corey. Homecoming is this weekend.....i'll miss saturday with Corey, but he'll just have to get over it - this is all for Drew. my boy. well later i guess! *MJ.....One Solution

Ugh.....i hate school so much. of course, i've never really met anyone who liked it. but i hate WICKED bad!!! im always in a bad mood when it comes to school. its awful. I'm going to the volleyball game this afternoon. L.G. is playing. should be fun to go cheer for my girl!! yeah. Corey said he might meet me there. It'd be cool. He got this new job at this surf shop. Its awesome. He gets a lot of cool free stuff, too. haha. yeah. its great. Except he doesn't get a lot of free time off. He goes right after school.....but he does get Saturday nights off. which is fine with me, cause thats basically "our night". it sounds a little corny but its true. Mandy and Tyson got in a fight today. Its a really long story and kinda confusing, so i'd rather not try and explain it. I felt really bad for Mandy though, cause she just adores Tyson and i know he feels the same but they just had a falling out today. i'm sure it'll all be cool soo though - they can't resist each other. haha. i know this. maybe it'll all be patched up by tomorrow's football game. haha yeah. Talked to Drew again. He says him and Hannah are really starting to get close. awww!! just playin. I think he should ask her out, i told him that and he said he's thinking about it. YAY FOR DREW! he promised me that he won't ditch me at Homecoming for this Hannah girl. i thought that was cute. haha thats my drew. i love him, hes such a cool person. all around. That's next week if i'm not mistaken. should be fun if its with Drew. Me and Mandy might go to a concert in like 2 months. its gunna be wicked awesome if we go, cause Story of the Year is going, and Letterkills (one of my personal favorites) and My Chemical Romance and Taking Back Sunday maybe? im not sure. but i know it will be sweet. no gig tomorrow, so im going to the game with mandy. but i think me and the guys are gunna get together right after school, probably around 4. then no gig on saturday so im going with Corey downtown. I can't wait. He's almost perfect for me. i love everything about him!! so sweet and so great. and his lip ring is awesome!! i love it! ah! and my belly ring still looks awesome. Corey has taken a liking to it, lol, thats my Corey. Whatever.....:-) well i'm out later *MJ.....One Solution

I got my dress for the homecoming thing with Drew. its neat, its yellow and short. i think we'll look cute together. anyways.....i think its next week. it should be fun going with drew. it'll be just like old times. hehe. Corey is such a sweetie. He took me downtown saturday, since we didn't have a gig. We went to the club and saw 2 bands play. i still wear his necklace. i just love it when he puts his arms around me. i feel so secure and comfortable. its great. OH!!! he got his lip pierced!!!! it is so hott. it looks really wicked good. its just a little ring around his lip. so hott. ugh and great to kiss too. haha. you guys know how it is. the game was good on friday. we had fun. i met this really cool dude there. his name is James. he has a mohawk and a lip ring and a tongue ring. hes wicked nice and fun to be around. like him a lot. i'll probably be at mandy's house this weekend. like always. theres another game on friday, so we'll hang out there with everybody. me and Corey will go behind the bleachers if you know what im sayin. haha im just playin. we're gunna watch the video from the beach. i wish i was there right now. you guys have no idea. i wish i was at the beach so badly. school sucks so much and so does life here. i hate it. i just want to be somewhere else. preferably with Corey. but not until next summer. its too far away. Corey makes me feel like such a girl. i like it in a way. Whenever i see him i just want to run up and lay one on him and throw my arms around him. Hes great. He'll do anything for me and take me anywhere. I can't wait to go downtown with him this saturday, to see what he has in store for me this time. he's always got something planned and ready for me. i love that. i'm with him like every saturday night.....you can ask mandy. isn't that right mandy?!!?!? she knows its true, but its ok cause she's always with Tyson. haha still goin strong. i'll add more later peace *MJ.....One Solution

Ugh ok, me and mandy know these guys that are usually so cool and awesome to be around. But one of them just got a girlfriend and he's trying to hook the other one up with someone and they are acting like total fags! the never talk to us anymore and they don't joke around anymore. ugh, but whatever, they can do what they want. i just hope they know they are ass holes. SO me and mandy got our belly buttons pierced!! they look so wicked awesome. mine has this little dangly crystal star on it and mandy's has a heart. they are so cute. i think Corey might get his lip pierced this weekend. He told me that if i got my belly done, he would get his lip done. cause he didn't believe that i would actually do it. well i did, so his turn!! its gunna be so hott tho. ah, you have no idea. Homecoming is in like 3 or 4 weeks. i'm definitely not going to ours, cause they are always just a waste of money. But Drew still wants me to go with him so i will. just for my boy. i hope his little girlie doesn't think anything. oh well. drew will figure things out. we don't have a gig tomorrow. which is fine with me. we're gunna try some new material, so it'll be good for us to have a weekend off. Tyson and mandy are gunna stop by, and Corey will be there, as usual. the guys are so cool with me, they consider me to be "one of the guys". i like it, im not just some girl in their band. they are definitely cool about it. drew is trying to come up to one of our "mini shows" so he can see how good we've gotten. which we definitely have. i cant wait for green day's cd or simple plans either!! they are so rockin. love them both and i want the letterkills cd too. thats a good one. theres another football game friday. i think me and mandy are gunna meet some people there. like always. sammie and jodie are going too i think. well who knows, theres always a lot of people there. INCLUDING COREY!! i love the way he is. just so cute. i hate to gush but its hard not to. k im out, later *MJ.....One Solution

Corey is so sweet to me. He takes me everywhere i want to go and will get me anything i want. ugh! i feel really lucky to have someone like him and i really don't want to screw it up. He made me a really awesome bracelet with a guitar pick on it. its almost like a hemp thing but its rainbow colors with a green pick on it. its so pretty. i wear it everyday. we played downtown again friday night. we rocked and then Corey took me out afterwards and we had a cool time. He's so cute and such a good kisser. Tyson asked Mandy out. DUH she said yes. they look so cute together. She is absolutely in love with him and has been for a while. he told Corey that he liked her a whole lot and really wanted to be with her and Corey told me and I told Mandy and i thought she was gunna freak. i mean she flipped out. Tyson was really happy when she told him she would go out. i'm still keeping in touch with Drew. I miss him so much. I think hes gotten over the fact that i'm into Corey right now. Yeah he's been talking about this girl at his school and she sounds alright. i think he might ask her out. her name is Hannah and shes on the basketball team. hmm. oh well. he showed me a picture of her and shes pretty. she has short blonde hair and a cute smile. they're cute together. i'm going to get my belly pierced this week. don't know when but Corey wants me to. lol i think Mandy is gunna get hers done with me. everyone tells me it hurts wicked bad. oh well. i'm trying to get Corey to get his lip pierced. i don't know about anyone else but i think it is so hott when a guy has a lipring. but thats just me. hopefully he'll get it done. school still sucks. and i still hate it. later *MJ.....One Solution