ok i love my boyfriend so much it scares me. like i think about us all the time and wonder whats he's doing or when i am gonna get to talk to him next or better yet see him. when i see young couples together that have children i think i want that some day.. most people do.. but i think i want that with him.. this scares me once again.i wonder what it would be like to live with him in a house like just me and him...i think some day that i could maybe spend the rest of my life with him.. cause i love him that much.. in a way i am not scared. i am just scared to let him know that i have some of the thoughts that he has i have to. i think maybe that things would move to fast or he would freak out or just something terrible. like loseing him. but i don't want to let my guard down cause then the one thing that always happens when i do let it down. i get hurt i get hurt really bad. i dont want that to happen. i refuse to let it happen. i will never date again if thats what i have to do to avoid getting hurt. sometimes i just think that i must be a horrible person or something to have bad things happen to me. like i don't deserve to be happy like it's just not one of those things i am allow to have....