i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening. i cant believe this is happening.

so, 2 years. fuck. its really only starting to sink in. i hate this so much I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!

i'm the one i've been here for you all along... what am i supposed to say when he's acting like that? i'm just being a bitch.

i figured that if i wrote here no one that i didnt want to find me couldnt possibly find me. i know that some of my friendlies know that this diary exists, and i have absolutely no objection to it. today is a bad day. i feel like crap. and its because of this whole infidelity thing. i never ever thought i would have the guts to cheat on anyone until i was like 54... but i did and i feel so fucking guilty. seriously, i hate feeling like this, especially coz 'he' doesnt even talk to me anymore!? i wish that this could end with me happy and satisfied. but either way some one is getting fucked over and i have a strong feeling it might be me. i guess i deserve it. xoxo and

this is my kingdom too bad you're not allowed to enter.