it seems as though every time i try to get back up my feet fails me and falls once again. it is such a letdown. it's bad enough i'm fucking down to the ground. that job was my one resort where i could at least keep my mind busy with. this is pathetic, i'm up at 5:30. i'm lonely, i'm fucked, i'm depressed, i'm a mess. get it? got it? good. -gabe