I know you know that it's me But I don't think that you know that I know that you know it's me And I don't care that you know I don't care Fullstop .

I feel I shouldn't be here. I feel that this is the wrong space for me - the wrong medium for which I am to vent. I feel watched by people I don't particularly want watching me. I feel I can't say what it is I want to say for fear of it coming back to bite me in the bum. There is certain things I don't want certain people knowing so I shall not post them. Not here at any rate.

I feel that you love everyone else more than you do I That you live for them not me You seem to remember everything in regards to the goings on with me but not with me Too many "hers" for me to be bothered with but they bother me I fear mentioning anything that might stir a memory you have of her, a memeory of being with her, a memory you share with her I don't want you to remember If you can't remember it then it didn't happen Right? Most of all I think I fear mentioning anything to do with her because I don't want to remember.

When the times are good: I look at you and I see a smile on your face and one on mine I look at you and I feel the bond we share is strong, unbreakable I look at you and I think you want me, need me and love me and I, you When the times are bad: I look at you and I see an unreasonable bastard who doesn't care I look at you and I feel angry and filled with hate for all the times you've hurt me I look at you and I think why am I here?

...I don't want you to know.