11 more days.

24 days left until march 15 which is a saturday

i get ungrounded on March 15. 29 days from today. i think i will last. and if i mention how i hate being grounded they are going to add another day, i swear theres a rule for every fucking thing in my house. i went off on my stepmom on in family counseling i told her that im sick of her trying to be my mom. and her intentionaly trying to piss me off. im sick of my family. i guess when i get ungrounded theres going to be more rules, or more they are going to make them more clear. so stupid, one night, and now everything in my life got fucked up. but whatever ive learned alot from this. like being away from people. and i know how to handle things better. i learned how shitty some of my so called friends really are. and then theres those friends who dont appriciate shit and make you feel like your not good enough because all they want to do is be friends with old friends. and people they use to hate. its funny actually. ahahha.

okay so ive come to realize that your just an asshole and everyone talks shit about you. it just sucks you dont know because you act as if your the shit when really you are just shit. i fucking hate you. you used me and you know it. jessica and i are okay i guess. we talked about everything. byuh. i think im getting ungrounded on march 6th instead of the 20th haaah yeah boi.

im shitty im not even gonna stress i can do better haaha dont meant to toot my own horn but its the truth ! two faced bitchs just isnt working jessica johnson , your very two faced.

im in iss second day and last. tomorrow me shelby, ashley, haley, and court are all going to rent hotel, red roof. lol. that is unless we dont have school due to weather .. yesterday alex picked me up after school she bought some noodles and i downed those bitchs, i feel kinda bad. lmao. i feel like im loseing one of my best friends. i wrote a letter to my parents about everything. im going to give it to them today. i didnt yesterday because i crashed, i was dead tired. and high. haaaha.

im in iss i got kicked out yesterday jordan , fucking bitch stole my ipod and weed out of my purse i noticed my weed was gone but not my ipod this morning i was like wtf? im pissed i know he took it because it was in the side pocket this shit isnt cool but whatever. there is one other person in ISS apparently i have no warnings like evryone else does thats stupid mrs.g [eww] told him im getting oss if i do anythig wrong. bulllshiitt but my dad was on my side which is awesome :]

im in iss for skipping i skipped 3 periods they only found out about two i told them i got sick i fucking hate mrs.garris shes a stupid cunt i leave at 12:30 for dr.piateks so whateverrr i had so much fun though yesterday alex did my hair :] i told my parents i did it the night before haaaaha. well i hope i dont get into anymore trouble at home because of skipping. im just going to say that i got sick, i was sick though last night anyway. cant wait for friday with shelby :]

today im going to my moms. which is weird because i never go there. i have a pilates class tomorrow :] im so shitty about my camera but whateves, im going to get a new one. jess and i are going to do shrooms and might go camping while we are on them, with some other people. hahaha. when we're ungrounded of course.lol. BOO BEING GROUNDING !! bitchs aint shit. ya diiig?

i think im going to be ungrounded soon. i hope. i hope. i hope. i did snow yesterday. it was yummy. i got all frustrated when i didnt have anymore though, it sucked. but i just sat there, and didnt talk so i didnt start a fight with anyone. im worried about one of my friends. im sick of watching people die in front of me, i wont let him do this to himself. ive watched about every friend of mine go down some type of horrid black hole.

i seen a picture today [of me] from summer. ive gained weight. i already knew i did. i dont like it .. AT ALL . i feel like shit.

im grounded for 2 months that may be lowered if im good jessicas grounded for 1 month and corinnes not in any trouble and its all because of her that this started honestly im pretty mad at her i dont feel like explaining everything but it was one of the best nights of my life everyone gets along i guess now i got to hang out with someone, well actually a couple people, i never thought i would again i think my lifes getting better though im going to my moms of friday, im staying the night and piatec on tuesday imma be 120. hell yeah.

your not a good friend. im sick of your shit. and i refuse to deal with it.

i decided. im going to make a change. im not going to depend on my life being fun because of them. im going to make new friends. and hang out with old friends. im not dropping anyone. its just i care about alot of people more than they care for me. im going to do things i havent yet. maybe ive just made a bad impression. and now im stuck that impression. im becoming someone i dont want to be. im going to come out of this. im going to be happy. it may not happen fast but it will. but there are some of those people who its like your not a good person, im done with all of your bullshit, in a nutshell.

you confuse me. i dont know what i did. i know that i do alot of things wrong. but i tried to make sure that i was nice, and i actually stopped to think before i talked last night. i wanted everyone to have a good night. i just dont want you to get in trouble. i cant say sorry. it wouldnt make sense. do you not want me to care about you? and when i got out of the car, you said to leave me there and that you dont give a fuck about me. well i still "give a fuck about you" and i kind of wish i didnt. when i hit you that one time, do you actually think that i was trying? i wouldnt do that to you. unless i hated you. what do people want from me? i dont mean to throw a pitty party. but im so confused. i know i do alot wrong. but everyone told me i didnt do anything wrong. and i even know i didnt. do you like it when im mean? because nobody else does.