Fuckin a! wellgot nothin else to do with my time so here i am gulty writing in this shit that everyone else doesnt have time for. well fuck. i am living at my moms right now and of corse im not gunna say its a fuckin picnic or anything its horible my mom ends up getting pregnate while Landon was visiting he was here for almost 3 weeks which was great at times but i am not sure if i really really like him but i dont want him to bum out. but fuck its hard him being there and me here and making sure everythings ok and plus i dont get to talk to him sum days and it pisses me off he doesnt have a place to live he goes from friends to friend to sum times siters of moms and ddinty finish highschool and he doesnt have a job and he sits there and ocmplains about it and i cant fucking take it. and i just tell him all the shit he could do and he just talks but never does it and that makes me so fucking mad i coudl scream. but i miss sleeping next to him and in the middle of the night waking him up because i had a bad dream. or our amazing sex!!!!!!!!!!!! and it was cute id be sleeping and if he woke up in the middle of the night hed kiss me on my cheek or lips. and cuddling and i miss all that though its a great fealing. and we plan on moving into gether when i get back if we both have money to which i can see now us not but sumthin to look forward to. and my dad he doesnt give a shit at all at first i said i would never talk to him then i realized ok thats not gunna make him decide to take care of me again so i called him everynight being so nice and then he never ever called me not once he told my mom to even call him on MY fuckign birthday its bullshit i can see how much he suposibly cares about me. to much shit going on and i started geyttin anxiety and fuck just shoot me and its been like fuckin 2 degreese and shit im from fucking california i am not used to that shit nor do i plan on getting used to it. fuck i complain alot. but im just really bummbed out and depressed these days.