I forgot how to post pictures in my journal entries and I also wanted to know if I could simply post pictures using photobucket? Okay figured it out.

"I feel the gravity of it all" That lyric fits me very well, almost to well. 1 pm and the other two people that are within this house are asleep, it causes me to feel rather lonely actually. I can't seem to write, I have all these ideas but they never leave my mind. Seems my fingertips and my brain are at alittle war with each other. No bother. All I have is time. Switch the music to the theme from The Piano. Maybe I'll go watch a movie or maybe I will go put Lain into the dvd player and sit through all 13 episodes. I don't have anything really to type here so I don't know why I'm bothering to even try and for the record my cats are more loving then my Mother ever could be, even on her best day.

Something is wrong when a person doesn't ever want to use a phone again, at least I think so. But that's how it is, I don't care to use a phone ever again. You see I am a shut in, agoraphobic, won't leave the house ect ect ect I don't like how my life is, in fact I hate it but the medications aren't working and I'm lucky if I can remember to take them all right. I don't have a therapist at the moment and even if I did I probably wouldn't show up for the appointments. Because I'm a shit in it doesn't mean I don't have things. I have a shitload of movies, a huge cd collection, I have daily habits and routines like everyone else in the world does. I attempted to take my sister out for Halloween but I only made it a few blocks before I was out of breath half do to my medication half because I wanted to be back inside. Staring at all those people handing out candy scared the living shit out of me. Hearing "Trick or treat" "Smell my feet give me something good to eat" "Happy Halloween" "Thankyou" and "Your welcome" was odd to my ears. But, nevermind that. I had this diary for awhile now so I thought that I would use it to express how my life is as I live and deal with my mental illness.