I know that I haven't written on here in a while. But I have been debating with myself what to do about my boyfriend. He decided last Friday that he wanted to be a good Christian Boy. Which means no sex until he gets married. I however told him I wasn't planning on getting married for a very long time. So does that sound like it could still be a relationship. There will never be anything beyond kissing or whatnot. There will never be any intimacy. I don't know what to do anymore, I wish I could just look into what I have to do. I'm having arguments with myself about whether I should break up with him or not. Can someone please give me some advice. I am just so confused I don't know what to do anymore. Crimson

Sunday, is mine and my boyfriends 1 yr anniversary. I'm really surprised we made it this long, considering my past relationships. Usually, we break up right before it should be a year. I don't really know what to get him, or if I'm supposed to get him anything at all. I kind of need help in that department. I don't know what to get a geek for an anniversary. I actually thought about getting him a 1GB thumb drive for the anniversary. Should I or Shouldn't I? I just don't know, if someone could leave a comment about anniversary gifts for geeks please help me by Sunday. Thanks. Crimson

Well right now I'm on vacation in Colorado. I love it here a lot. We've been doing a lot of things. Me and a few friends came up here on Monday and we're leaving tomorrow. I wish I could stay longer but I know that I can't. Oh well, it's time I guess to enter back into the world of work. Yesterday, me and the group went to Cripple Creek, an old mining town turned into an entire town for gambling. But it's the farthest I've ever been into the mountains. I didn't really like driving through all of the curves, but we survived. So far though, I've tortured the friend I came up to visit with shopping. She hates shopping so much, but it's fun to watch her blanch when I want to go. Yes, I know I'm a sadist, but most of my friends realized such things a long time ago. Me and her also got our haircuts yesterday. They cut my hair a lot shorter than I wanted them too, but I suppose it will grow back again. Today, I'm going to die her hair black and I might streak mine some color, I haven't really figured it out yet. (Maybe Purple) Since I've been here I have been playing lots of World of Warcraft. It's a pretty addicting game. I used to like the old PC version but I like this one too. My character is a level 8 so far I think but hopefully I can start moving up with my experience more. Well that's the end, and I better Tip the Rose and Bring this Entry to a Close. Crimson

This is poem I had running through my head. It is kind of a remembrance of how my passed used to be about five years ago. I used to be extremely morbid, and it's when I started turning into a goth. This is just one of the poems I've had running through my head. Though, it may sound morbid to some, it makes perfect sense to me. Then again, I'm weird and morbid anyway. Well here it is: Pain Fades I’ve been Jaded for so long, The light has left my eyes, The pain I feel inside will not reside, Everything I once had is gone, Never to been seen again, Lost to me are the words of how to live, The regret has shown in hazel eyes, As emptiness closes my mind, My body weakens by thoughts of pain, The pain shows itself through rain, Following the tears within my eyes, They shall never be dry again, Until all the life left there disappears, And the sun will return the glow, That seems to not have shown for years. I would like to know what people think of it. It was just something I thought I would share. It's not good to keep things bottled up is what I've found out. A lot of emotions that run through you should also be realized to the world. And so, here I am extending my hand to show part of my true self to those who may or may not care. But, it feels good to get things off my chest and why not do it here where I know some people just might read it and care what I have to say. "This is where I'm Tipping the Rose and Bringing this Diary Entry to a Close." The End Please show your thoughts.

Well Christmas is just around the corner, and I've got most of my presents bought. I'm having some trouble thinking of what to get one of my aunts for Christmas. It's tough to try and come up with stuff to get when you didn't get any clue about what she wants. But I figure I'll come up with something. I've already bought her a lotion set from bath and body works. But that's about it. I'm going through websites trying to find an idea but none seem to be forthcoming. Oh well I'm guessing something will pop up eventually. Well I have to go, so I better Tip the Rose and Bring this Entry to a Close.

Well it's snowing right now and it's really boring at home. There really isn't much to do. I really hope that I don't have to work tomorrow. I'm thinking of maybe writing a story or watching a movie but I'm not sure what I want to do exactly. I've been really busy the last few days considering that last Thursday was Thanksgiving. I ate so much food I felt like a log. Then on Saturday we ate another Thanksgiving feast and that was with my great-grandparents 74th wedding anniversary. I just can't wait till Christmas comes cause I think I'm going to head to Colorado Springs to see one of my best friends. Not to mention I kind of like presents. But that isn't a secret now. I can't really think of anything else to say. It's time for me to Tip the Rose and Bring the Diary to a Close.

Well, I know that it's been a while since my last entry. Friday morning at 5 am, I left on a roadtrip to Chicago with some family members. One of the members was my brother so you can guess how that went on the trip. I also felt like I ate way to much stuff that I shouldn't have. It was still cool cause I got to see family and since it was my first trip to Chicago, we went to this park with a really pretty and huge fountain. The park was right next to Lake Michigan which was very large from where we were standing and pretty. We had to make the tourism short cause it was pretty cold outside and it started to sprinkle. Afterward, my great-uncle took us to a mall to look around and shop. Unfortunately, everything in the whole mall was expensive except for a store selling hoodies for $20. I was a little pissed that they didn't have a Hot Topic there, but they did have a Spencer Gifts store, which helped brighten up my day. We then ended up going to a reception dinner for my great-great-aunt and uncle. They had so much food I thought I was going to puke. I didn't know very many people there and it didn't feel like many people wanted to get to know us either, which made me so bored I left to go to the bathroom to call my boyfriend. After the dinner we all went back to the place we were staying. At 11:45 pm, everybody was passed out cold. We woke up at 7 a.m. and went to visit my other great-aunt that lives in Chicago. We ended up not really leaving Chicago till 9 a.m. That was when we made our 10 hour journey back to our home in Nebraska. Only stopping for bathroom breaks and to eat lunch and get gas. We made it home at 7:30 pm, where I was happy to finally be home. Although, Chicago was a journey I would rather sleep in my own bed and be around people I know, then around complete strangers. The End

Well, I was just messing around on here, with the colors and I realized how extremely ugly they were. These colors don't fit my personality at all. They don't perceive who I am since my mind is such a damp, dark place. Looks like I'm going to have to change all my colors to darker one. I'm going to go mess around with more colors. Shini