I don't know whats going on anymore. Everything is going to complete shit. Krysten's upset, we got in a fight, Tim and Tara are fighting, really, what could be worse? I really don't know what's going on with Krysten. She's just been really down latley and I feel like it's my fault. I dunno know though. It seems like she doesn't think she's good enough for anyone. Which is not true at all. I don't know why she thinks that... but she does. We kinda got into a fight last night. She was feeling upset the whole day yesterday and then said she didn't want to go to the fair. I told her I really wanted to see her but she thought I should be with my friends? Well my parents were gone last night so I asked if she wanted to just come over instead of going the fair. She kept saying no and that I need to be with my friends. I begged and begged her for a couple hours but she still didn't wanna go. So finally I was like, well if you want me to go the fair I will... but call if you change your mind. And she said she wouldn't. So went. Hung out with Jared and Tim most of the night. Then when I got home. She was still upset. So I asked her what was wrong and she told me it doesn't seem like I care about her. I was just like wtf. She really has NO idea how much I DO care about her. So that kinda got me going and I blew up. I really shouldn't have because thats the last thing she needs right now, but I did. It just made me so mad that she thought I wasn't "too worried" about her. Because I did beg her to spend time with me. And she turned down every offer that I made. And then she just threw all that shit back at me and made me seem like a shitty person and b/f. Erg... I just got really mad. And Krysten, I'm sorry I got mad. I really shouldn't have. I want you to know that I love you more than anything. Anywho... we kinda talked it out though. Just... the things that were said made it seem like she wants to break up or something. She told me she doesnt... but I dunno. I talked to Tara about it last night too. She said that the same thing happened with Kyle. And that Krysten was like this and then the next day she broke up with him. Now I'm freaking out. Losing her is the last thing I want to do. I just hope she doesn't break up with me.... but it's her decision. Whatever makes her happy is what I want. And if I don't make her happy... then I don't want her to be with me. Anywho... I got off around 12:30 or 1... somewhere in there because I was tired and wanted to go to bed. But I couldn't sleep. So I came downstairs and got back on AOL at 2 something hoping Krysten would be on because I really wanted to talk to her some more. But she was sleeping. Which is good. Because she really needs it. So I just sat down here for an hour or so reading. Then I finally went back upstairs and went to bed. While I was walking in my room Tim sat up and said something about electric wires and the army?????? Who knows. Well not really doing much today. Woke up around 10:30 and Tim left. I guess I'm just gonna sit around and go to work at 4. Hopefully I can talk to Krysten before I leave. Well this is long enough so I'm gonna go. Tanner Krysten- I just want you to know that no matter what I'm always going to be here for you. I really do love you with all of my heart. Hope you start feeling better soon.