slowly the pen touches paper. . So today I thought a lot. Well, I lie, during fitness I didn't exactly have time to think. My mind mostly focused on trying to not die. Other than that though, I have been thinking a lot. About the direction that my life is heading in. Don't you love it when you have no control over anything in your life? Well, you really never do, but most of the time you don't feel or comprehend it. It is when you actually notice the things that you start to see those little strings tugging at your limbs and even your thinking. Your face turns a reddish color as you try to strain against it, but to no avail. The strings hold and you are stuck hanging - exhausted from overworking yourself in your attempt to gain some sense of freedom. I really have no idea when I will be moving back to my real home. Sometime this summer, I refuse to stay where I am to finish high school. I probably won't if I have to stay, but we will see. Most likely, I will be coming down this summer. . . Hopefully. excuse me, but I seem to have misplaced my heart. . I don't know, but for some reason I feel like something is missing in my life now. Oh well, the feeling will pass and I will go with the world. After all, the strings are pulling me along. All that matters is if I go willingly, or fight the cords. Letting them bite into me as I strain against them and then finally give in. Finding peace again in the mind numbing routine of everyday life. i wish i had shoes on this path of broken glass. . . I see my future sometimes. Or what I think it will be in the next few days, months, or years. What I assume it will be. Sometimes my predictions are correct. And other times they aren't, much to my disappointment in some cases. Perhaps if I had a lantern to light my way on this road. A lantern to show me where to step, instead of stumbling in the darkness and cutting more than just my feet. because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone. . no matter how many people are around. . . I feel so out of place here. . . Like I'm the only one that truly knows or understands me. More so when I don't get to speak with friends online and stuff. Sometimes I start thinking selfishly and wish they would stop having lives as well and sit at home talking to eachother instead of hanging out. Just so I could feel less alone. Well, this is kind of long, and I don't feel like talking anymore. So I will end it here. 'Night. Oh! And Happy Birthday, Eric.