So i guess its about time i probally get back into this. cause its a way for me to relieve whats building up inside of me. ive been stressed out latley. one because of matt going into the army in august. and just abunch more shit building upon it. my dad still drinks and is still smoking. but i think it has gotten to the point where im excluding him from my life... whenever he speaks to me or something we usualy end up in an argument an i either walk outta my house or kick my door in the end. my bestfriend moved in with me before christmas and it just kinda wierd having to deal with it.. i mean it better then me being alone cause i can always talk to her about whats on my mind. or whats bothering me. but she just confuses me sometimes. like.. just her actions and everything else about her. ive been feeling like shit latley like. ill get dizzy and stumble once n a while or ill feel like im about to cry once n a while. even if nothing bad happend yet. i really donno thought if anyone ever reads this. please put some input on it?

So im finally home from upward bound. and it makes me smile.. but neways. its not like anyone cares... Pz

so yeah .. i donno i feel .. i donno. but yeah being single sux. and i hate most people latley i donno i just feel like dissapearing.. ~vic

so yeah i like this guy n hes pretty niffty the sad part is. that he probaly doesnt care but.. yeah.. bye.

so yeah, i think that everyone is driving me crazy alil bit at the time. my friend jen is bein stupid and ran away from home and shes stayin at our friends house cholita. and yeah he mom would rather have her here then there because over there all they do is drugs and ill even be lucky if i see em' in school now. But besides the point. i feel like im growing apart with all my old friends (dan, jen, shannon_the list goes on) and i donno. i just havent done anything much latley. ive changes i guess. i dont do the same things as i used to. i mean youll be lucky if you even see me at the mall. or at skate estate. i mean i dont even sit at the same lunch table ne more were all my old friends were. but yeah. im still single. and i donno. i miss hangin with people. even as just friends. but i dont think they care because most people just ignore me now. i donno. the only people i habgout with now are lindsey and elsie. but yeah no one reads this so ill just catch you all later... Luv ya all ~Victoria

so yeah..ive just been feeling lonley. and i donno.. im just feeling like NO ONE CARES. and so theres nothing really interesting to put in this.. ¢¾Vic

why shoud i care? i mean.. i never told him that i liked him so. i shouldnt be like this i should just secllude myself, i mean. nothing good ever happends to me neway.. no one likes me and no one will.... bye

haha so yeha i was sick mon. n tues. and today i went to the mall n hungout with jimmy and yeah it made my day

so yeah. i donno.. my ife sux.. thats about it. and. yeah sence mikes gone.. whats left? noone else likes. me. so yeah. im destined to become that lony cat woman you keep hearing about

so yeah.. im gonna die this week. today i had karate class tuesday i have gym.. and swimming after school wendesday im goin down to workout at the karate gym thuresday karate once again friday softball peactice.. saturday and sunday. snowboarding so if i die.. i love you all

tons of shit this week. who cares tho.

nothing new.. i got new shoes. and..yeah i donno im failing 2 classes.. but ohwell. bye

*x* so yeah i donno.. school sucked and i felt like shit all day.. *x* i donno.. dan thinks im sad 24/7 and i just donno... well yeah bye *x*

so my history teacher was talking on friday about nactionalisum.. in america and how other countrys think that we thing were better then them because everywere you go. you see an american flag. and in other countrys.. you rarely see any. this can go two ways ~Way one our country does have nactionalism issues. i mean we went to war with iraq for no reason.. only the attack in Ny were arround the us. probally more are killed everyday but no. we have to go to war and lose more americans just to prove that we are all powerful and sit. just becasue our retarded president said so. ~Way two the people in the united states are just waiting till a good president gets ellected becasue there werent any good ones this time.. so they all had to vote for president bush again. and we do have nactionalism in america.. and were just proud to be in america. i mean come on its the "Freedom State" this is ment to be supperior then the other states anyways because people arent discriminated againt. ..well. not as much so yeah. there is my thought of the day.. ~Vic

i broke up with mike to day im only gonna look at it as a break.. and i wanna see how i feel with out him i know it wont end good and i already cryed alil.... but oh well who care.. no one reads this neways.. xxxxxxxxxxxxx o n i got a new back pack today... well bye.. ::heart::

so yeah.. i am donna do with holding off me n mike untill i can see him more... saddly i like this one guy.. and i dont think he knows but oh well.. things wouldnt workout between us neways.. soo yeah nothing interesting happend today.. so .. bye

xxx heyy.. yeah.. i am soo bored.. ive been drawing latley so.. that helps with a few emoctions.. haha... lol anyways... xxx i am gonna put the whole me and mike thing off untill i can see him more i guess... xxx but anyways... i went to the mall tonight with chewy and dev... it was fun...... xxx anyways... im gonna go to bed.. ~Vic xxx

*x* so yeah.. nothing interesting happend today really... *x* i went to a UB meeting ,, and yeah,,, come to findout jared still likes me.. so yeah... .. and i learned anput STDS n safe sex.. it was a verry boring lecture... *x* after that i went to the mall with jenn and yeah it weas alot of fun... but also.. i got ot hangout with dan on his break...:) so yeah i was happy.. *x* then i went to skate estate n hungout with mike... and im not sure if i wanna still date him or not... because.. today was out 1 month and i only see him on saturday and he hardley ever calls me.. and yeah.. i donno.... well of to bed with me... *x*

Why am i dieing to live If im living to die!? =x= so yeah today was boring i didnt wake up untill 3... =x= i went to the mall and i got my ear pierced my 3ed hole repierced and my 3ed whole on my caralage. oh and i went and i saw dan so that was fun he always makes me smile.. :) =x= after i went to the hp party and i left earily because it was boring as hell.. and because i have headake but yeah... =x= so i foundout nothins goin on between my bf n that one chick.. but hes still not talking to me much so yeah..i think hes lieing well im gonna go.. PzOuT! =x=

~+~ so yea i went to the NIN concert and skipped school and it was pretty sweet i went with Tim, Matt, n Jon i slept on the way up. and we stood in line from noon to 6:30.. haha it was a fun waite jon was being negitive and me n matt fought alot and we meet these 2 guys(lee and jo) n hungout w/ them i saved the one from this one chick who was flirting w. him and he didnt like it ~+~ by the time we got inside we had to wait again but it wasnt that long so yeah..i ended up talking to the 1 kid jo (haha n he wasnt that bad lookin) ~+~ when we finaly got in me n jo went n got a drink matt went n reminded me i was still w/ mike not like nething would have happend n then yeah the first group were black preachers/rap ppl and they werent that bad matt enjoyed them ~+~ then nin came on and they kicked ass and i got a ton of good pictures. :) and jo got a bloody lip from goin into the mosh pit and yeah.. haha matt was in the middle of it all so that was great .. and i wanted to deck this one chick in the face cause she punched ppl for no reason ~+~ at the end we said our goodbyes and we left and i got a t-shirt for free .. but yeah also i didnt get to ask jo for his sn.. so yeah tims gonna try to find that out i hope ~+~ on the ride home.. it was boring so i slept and now im gonna go pass out on my bed PzOut!! ~+~