today i feel kind of low, unappreated and unwanted, confused thoughts and troubled fears of suside, some wouldnt mind if i did but others would, and those people are the people that keep me here today, i want to go away, away from all these things, no one really knows me, the whole me, the real me, people think they do but they only know parts no one would understand the way that i am, theres nothing wrong with me in a way i like who i am, people dont really appreate me or give me full credit, i want to know what i did to everyone to make them fee the way they do. all i want is to be loved and cared for and not feel the way i do, i dont want to hurt anyone if anything my self, but i dont want to loose the one that means so much to me, i dont want to disapoint him or make him sad or cry, i dont want to leave him in the cold crule world alone, i love him with all my heart but even he dont understand, so many thing i want to tell him so many things i wish i could do, but im to afraid of him leaving to afraid of letting him down that i feel like im wearing a mask around him and everyone that crosses my path, so this is it try to be patient with me i can only do so much try to understand that i want to leave so much but i cant becasue of him and only him and i hate it