Listening to: "i don't wanna be in love" by Good Charlotte
Feeling: dejected
im not sure what to say?
i used to have this about 6 or so years back, but i assume my account has been deleted by now. right now? im not sure how i feel. im using this diary so i can type out all of my feelings, all the time. i have facebook, but everyone i know has it and is my friend...its hard to be truthful that way.
i guess im using this as a tool so i can rant about everything...i mean everything in my life, without people that i know seeing it and getting back to me about it. lets start with the first factor...
i dont even know if me and my boyfriend are gonna last much longer...we've been together for a year and 6 months now, but i feel like he's either getting sick of me...or idk...but i miss him a lot. i don't see him much. we have two classes together (we go to college together and both live at home), but i feel like he uses that as an excuse to not see me otherwise. like, as we speak, he had to go take his mom to the car dealership to get her car worked on...and we're supposed to do hw when he gets done. its been 2 hrs...idk what to think. not to mention he has a "really good friend" that likes him...while i know her ass is ugly and he wouldnt leave me for her, it just pisses me off that she does things to try and take his attention away from me. i mean...buying him $60 racing pedals for his car and tellin him she "loves him" (she says its just a friend hting). UGH whatever...
im stressed, tired, and pushed almost to my breaking point. i was supposed to get a car soon but that probably wont be happening for another month or 2. im tired because the days i dont have classes, im working all day. im stressed because i feel like i wont be able to keep up with all of the reading that is thrown in front of me at school. (i hate reading...i get too distracted too easily)...
oh well...i guess i will go try to read...comment if you like.
as for the girl, i wish i could tell you not to make anything of it, but if you read my previous entries for the last 2 months youll get why i cant. Just trust your better judgement and dont double think. If you feel like somethings wrong, it might be true. But dont go jumping to conclusions, hell only freak out. Hope everything works out for the best.