why cant i be the person i used to be? i guess once people enter your life and then abrubtly leave it can take its toll on you. you'd think after so many years that i would be over it. i guess for the most part i am, but in some ways im not. maybe the ways in which i am not are ways that can help me be a person that i want to be. but i dont think i am the person that i want to be or that i once was. i want faith, i wasnt something to believe in. but the way my life has gone and the things that have taken thier toll on me.... maybe faith isnt something thats cut out for a person like me.. but what kind of person exactly is that? i really am not quite sure and im not really sure that i know what it takes to find that out...it seems like i used to be so happy. but then again thinking back on it my happiness then did not suffice either. but maybe one day i will look back upon this day and think to myself that i seemed to be so happy then or now..but what if that day never comes? what if i am just stuck in this everyday its the same thing life. when will things look up for me? i know i have many things going my way and i should be happy but maybe i just wont give myself the chance to be.maybe i think too much, maybe i look too far into things...i dont know. ---jessica at 18..