Its been awhile

Listening to: the people in my head
Feeling: aloof
man it has been too fuckin long...lets see whats new i dont work at sonic anymore i worked at golden corral for like 3 months but then i quit and i worked at target for 6 months but as of like...two days ago i dont work there anymore... jobless cool! i live in temple but i am moving to copperas cove next month and i still go to holland so thats a pretty long drive everyday but its whatever i am no longer with levi we are done for good! for good for good this time...he was living with me for like 6 months and on november 27 five days after our 1 year 1 month i woke up next to him and realized i dont even know him anymore its sad but true so we have been broken up for a while hmmm lets see i have a new boy..you know me cant stay single for long his name is Zaq Minor he is twenty and he is AMAZING god yummy lol ill write more about him later i am doing relatively well in school but not as good as the all As i was making before but ohh well lifes a bitch then u die when i graduate from this hell hole i am going to live in san marcus and go to job corps for 8 months to get my CNA then i am going to Texas State i am pretty stoaked about that so yeah theres my life in a nutshell
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Dear Levi

Dear Levi, its been two weeks today since youve left me in that time weve gone from not talking to seeeing eachother kissing and saying i love you again...but you still tell me you arent sure about us...in the mean time you are hanging out with your ex at 1 in the morning and you come to me and kiss me like you dont feel bad at all your turning into a heartless monster and its tearing me apart everyday i push myself farther away from you and i dont think you notice if you dont choose soon you will loose me and from now on i will not kiss you or touch you or anything because i feel used and im sick of it i hope you understand that i dont mean to be rude but ive had enough. Danyell this is a letter that will never be shown to him becuase i am to weak buti would love to show him:[[
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i hate everything

Yeah scratch that last entry cause its so not true its been 5 days and he wont speak to me much or see me or anything i lay around crying and eating hes having the time of his life...tell me what did i do to diserve this i hate my life i hate it i just want to fucking jump off a bridge he hates me i have no job no friends no life fuck i hate myself he says he needs time to mend but hes not mending anymore hes torturing me and i hate him for that he takes enjoyment in my pain and it makes me want to kill him sorry for all who has to read this danyell
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hello new shoes bye bye blues

i love my life perfect boyfriend wonderful bestfriend who doesnt order me around great job that gives me lots of moneys As and Bs in school bitches i mean seriously sometimes i just wonder how i got so lucky i love my boyfriend he is so amazzzzing yeah we fight but ohh well last night we were laying down and i was sleeping and he wispered in my ear "i am the happiest ive ever been in my whole life baby" and kissed me i feel like nothing could go wrong it usually does when i get too happy so im not going to curse myself but for now im just living on my happiness plus im listening to one of my happy songs and im not gonna lie..dancing a little okay alot lol prom is coming up in FOUR DAYS me and levis six months is in FIVE DAYS and my birthday is in FOURTEEN DAYS STOKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD okay im getting to excited im gonnna go take some downers lol byeee p.s i love u gracie and katie
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UPSET!

Feeling: angry
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK ME FUCK FUCK FUCK ASSSSSSS SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTT DAMNNNNNNNNNNN BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS sorry i needed to vent there levi and me are broken up and i am miserable so i need advice katie and gracie i liked this boy named dane for a lil while and he kissed me but i didnt kiss back i wrote in a letter to tori "ive decided that i pick levi over dane" and levi found it and read it and FREAKED OUT now i can understand that he would be upset for the first day or so thats completely understanding but it has been 4 days and he has been treating my like ameobas on fleas on rats and i am SICK OF IT i said i was sorry i cried all weekend and got on my knees and begged him to forgive me but i cant just wait forever for him to just stop being a bitch he has been so completely mean to me and theres a difference between being upset and acting out and just being plain fucking mean and thats what hes doing so fuck it i am not going to talk to him until hes done being a immature, pussy ass, fucking bitch!! am i wrong here honestly becuase if i am i would like you to tell me before i make a mistake i cnat avoid FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ME IN THE ASSSSS! I AM SO PISSED OFF hes going in the dog house
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My dream life

Feeling: angsty
moneyyy moneyy money money MONEEEEYYY anyways this is my dream life i will get married at 20 to Levi i will be a fashion designer and i will travel the world to pick up styles and mix them together into my own look i will be famous but not too famous levi will sell huge houses to very rich people he will be known by all the right people and he will make big bucks neither he nor i will be workaholics i will have 2 kids a girl when im 24 and a boy when im 30 the girls full name will be Danyell Cyrinda Renee Rodriguez but we would calll her cyri for short (sear-ree)the boys full name will be Bijou ----- Rodriguez bijou means jewel (bee-shoe) we will live in egypt in a flat overlooking the ocean that will look like this we will be happy and we would laugh all the time the end
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Its a new day

Im laying here on my bed and im being bored my boyfriend is at work and i dont feel like calling anyone else so ill make a new entry new years resolutions: get in shape be more responsible(in every way) go to church more i really need to work on those here i am fat as a fucking hippo in my messy room only making decent grades and OH WHATS TODAY..hmmm..WEDNESDAY where should i be? CHURCH i fucking suck new new years resolutions KEEP NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS refer to old resolutions yeah im bored and sadish corse lately all ive really been is sadish im up and down seriously i wake up i see levi i go to school i see levi for a little bit i go to work i get home and i get online on weekends its marah and levi the end. my life is lame man i need to get some hobbies plus being in athletics is killing me i couldnt run from my room to my kitchen they expect me to run like 3 straight laps or continuous running for five minutes and i cant hardly lift the trays at sonic they expect me to lift weights i will shove those weights right up there ass.. dikes but im trying hard to be miss perfect but i need a more then midiocre life the only thing that makes me happy is seeing levi and seeing marah and spending what time i can scrape up with my mom :[[ -Danyell p.s i think im a sociopath
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Levi

Feeling: infuriated
Have you ever known someone for a long time and been with them alot but every single time you look into there eyes it feels like the first time...thats how i feel...everytime i look at him it feels like the first time i ever looked at him and i saw his wonderful face...everytime we kiss it feels like the first time when we stood in my kitchen and we decided to take the next step...and evertime he puts his arms around me it feels like the first time he ever held me when i knew that i wanted those arms around me for good...i love everything about him and i cant get him off my mind...i feel like a little girl with a crush he makes me wanna dance around my kitchen in my underwear...im constantly smiling becuase hes constantly on my mind...i just want to talk about him all teh time to everyone...im just so scared taht i might loose him...or even worse loose the feelings i have about him...hes so different then what i usually go for but hes everything that ive ever wanted...i feel so comfertable around him naturally its insane..i have no regrets with him the only regret i have is waiting so long to be with him...yeah im going on and on and im gonna bore whoever reads this but ohh well ill write more soon<3
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