well oh my gosh. i have had alot happen to me and this diary is a little bit late...but oh well. basically i have been head over heals in love for the past 8 months ( give or take a few days )and there has been good times ( oh boy were they good ) and bad times...and WORSE times. he is my neighbor and i used to hate him, but then my friend statrted to hang out with him, so i did too and we became friends. then he started to like me and i started to like him too. We dated and i broke up with him a few times ( because i thought i was sooo cool to brake up with a guy and get him right back::LOSER::) so he said he was tired of this off and on shit. so i really realized what i had. and i fell in love. we hung out still, but we werent "together". I started to cut myself again. Then we had a long summer worth of 'off and on agains'. i was cutting pretty bad. Then i started getting a little bit better. i was venting to one of my best friends jen. BUt then in time she started to like him. and i thought tgis was pretty fucked up because i had been crying to her everyday about how much i loved him. and it was fucked the way i found those two out. me and "boy" are neighbors, so i can easily see him. so one night a mutual friend of mine and "boy" told me he saw boy and jen at the highschool ( which is right by my house) and it was like 8 at night why would she be there?? so i cried for like an hour before i went to the highschool to see if it was true. i went eventually and i saw mine and boys mutual friend rafael there. he said boy and jen were fucking. long story short i dropped to the ground crying and i felt like i wanted to die. so i ran away two days later. so my summer was shit because of boy. but recently like in the past few days it seems like boy like me again! i hope so i love boy so much