New diary, comment me and I'll probably let you know what it is.

My parents are way too overprotective of me now. It's ridiculous. I almost cried earlier but out of frustration because I can't even stay after school anymore because theyre dumb. even if I had someone to walk me home!! Lame. I'm tired of this... PS I think I need to make a new diary. I know that there's a stupid hoe that reads all my entries when it's NONE of their fucking business to be reading it. I'll let you guys know when I make a new one though. PS Valentines day is going to suck....

Why do so many guys all of a sudden like me. I don't like it... I had a radical time at the dance. Kevan went like I'd hoped he would...so it was rad. LYLE PISSED THE FUCK OUT OF ME THOUGH. It was fine at first when he kept coming up around me and Kerry and dancing and being a loser but then when me and Kevan were like hugging or dancing or anything he would like try to stop it by like...putting my shoes by m my feet so I'd trip during the slow songs and when Kevan was giving me a hug Lyle would be like GROUP HUG and grab me [which he did repeatedly] and he was putting his arms around me and told me he liked me. UGHHH. Kerry was my date though. lmfao me and her had a rad time over the weekend. I was SO motherfuckin' horny though the whole time I was with her lmfao. Not b/c of her just...reading erotic novels and detailed things about lesbian interaction...by god that's a turn on. And then I was really horny at the dance too. Oops. I really thoguht I was going to have a bad time But I didn't. I felt pretty too. I did my hair real cool with two hair doobies and two paper clips because Kerry didnt have a curling iron or any pins for hair...just hair doobies. So I had to get creative lmfao. okay my hands are cold from typing. Byyye

I wish I didn't have such sudden mood swings like that all the time... Because I don' even realize how strange I'm acting until I'm over it. I hate it. I still feel hella sick. I hate it. Colds suck. That's for sure. Even though I'm not always a happy person...I really love it that I can make other people feel better. I like that feeling a lot. Knowing that people trust me with their problems and that I can help them. But I feel horrible when I'm presented with a problem that I have no solution to...=/ I feel like I let the person down. But that hasn't happened todya, so I have no reason to feel bad :) I guess I'll end this.

Does she really want to break me? Why... Probably because I'm too trusting. Which is why I have no friends. I'm fucking through with everyone. I'm not joking. For some reason I'm about to cry right now. Because I'm fucking foolish. I just wanna go somewhere right now. Or eat a box full of Pocky...haha Gosh I'm fat. But guess what. I'm gonna fucking stop. Stop thinking. Stop dwelling Stop wishing Stop hoping None of that shit's ever gonna happen Nothing good is ever gonna come. Bye..

So when I was in the car on the way home from the movies I was slaughtering every country song that my dad was playing...and there was this one and idk what it's called but she's all like 'and I love you more than anything in the world...love your baby girllllll' and I was singing that and I patted my dad on the shoulder and screamed those lyrics and he was just like ...you're not my baby girl anymore though. And then I thought he was just making fun of me cuz Cassidy's born and ish, but then I realized...damn I really am growing up. It made me kinda sad.

so today was a good day. Buster took me to the movies and we had a good time. I felt so dumb because he had his arm around me and I kept getting freaked out and jumping every three seconds lmfao. He just laughed at me though. He's really sweet. He opened doors for me and ish. But then I knew it was gonna happen. He sent me a message telling me he liked me and then was all like LFBMX911: do u still like __________? o0MsWallflower0o: kjadfa o0MsWallflower0o: __________________ o0MsWallflower0o: it's weird LFBMX911: oh LFBMX911: im comfused o0MsWallflower0o: ? LFBMX911: nvm o0MsWallflower0o: please tell? LFBMX911: so do u like him or ??? UGHHHH I TOLD HIM THAT I ALREADY LIKED THAT GUY AND NOW HE JUST WANTS ME TO STOP and to automatically like him. He's really a sweet guy and makes me feel nice inside but I don't know if I like him...ya know? Guys make my head hurt. But I love them to pieces. Good night

So yeah if there's one thing I regret as of lately it's telling the cops that I was nearly abducted. I'm not even joking. My parents won't let me do anything anymore. I'm going to the movies with Buster tomorrow night but it's only as friends. At least I hope he knows that. Because I've even talked to him about...cetain people that I most definitely have my eye on. I don't want to lead him on and to me this is just as friends but idk if he thinks the same thing of it. Today was a fine day. I went to the honor roll assembly and me and Brittany stalked my boyfriend [aka the hot sophomore who already has a gf and we only know his first name] he alway slooks at us [like we were staring at each other when he was MAKING OUT with his gf lmfaooo] But duh nothing would ever happen with me or him. Skyler and me were talking today and he was trying to think of some friends of his that he could hook me up with. But that's not gonna work. Let's face it. Guys just aren't my thing. [...nor are girls. ] PS Damien is super awesome and he thinks he has a big penis but I've yet to find that out with my own eyes so...yeah. lmfao. But yeah he's a pretty cool kid. We're taking pictures tomorrow [hopefully] hah. K I'm gonna go I guess. BYE.

Good morning Nothing too much happening on my end of the spectrum today. Golly didn't I just sound smart? No, not really. I have this safety pin and I think it kinda looks like a penis lmfao. I love it. It's on my sweatshirt sleeve :D I think my mom gave me a bruise on my arm from where she punched me last night. Hahahha damn she was pissed at me. But oh well who cares. My AIM keeps getting really screwed up lately. It'll say I'm online and I can get the messages that people send me but when I go to reply they don't get them back. Urghhh. Okay I'm going to go and try to straighten my bangsssss. Bye. [Have a good day]

TODAY WAS A GREAT DAY I got the most prettiest dress for the dance today FOR SEVEN BUCKS AT VALUE VILLAGE It makes me feel beautiful So yeah I was a mucho flirt on the max today It was crazy since I hardly have the balls to even look at a guy I don't know. The guys weren't even that cute, except for the one I saw when we were downtown. My boob almost ran into his hand. lmfao that makes no sense to you guys. He had nice eyes so I made a point to sit right by him and we kept glancing at each other and smiling, and then my mom yelled at me to come sit by her. Total moment killer. Then later on I saw two guys get on and I didn't think they were cute but I was bored. So I started being obnoxious and singing and being retarded and acting all cute so they'd notice me [which they had cuz before I even did that they kept lookin' at me haha] And so I'd glance their way every now and then and give em a smile or something And I started talking to some little kids who were on the bus alone lmao. It was cool. And then when the guys were getting off the blonde guy looks at me and gives me this big smile, so I smile back and he waves real fast haha it was so cute. So I yelled BYYYYYE hah My mom said I was a tease. Hah. That's the first time I've been called that in a LONG time. Hahaha but it was by my mom so that shouldn't even count. I bought a red jacket thing and a cream/white shirt and it says 'right now I miss you, or i think I do. I guess it must be love' and then its got butterflies and says lovelovelovelove across it. I love it. And I got some baggy guy pants from Old Navy lmfao. Gay store but hey they were cheap and I had a giftcard :) Today was an awesome day. PS I want to kiss Aubrey. Oops. Confessions. lmfao. HOLYSHIT I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. LILIANA KNOWS THE SECRET THAT I WROTE ABOUT IN MY OTHER DIARY. Dayuuuuuuum. Remind me to tal to you about that later Liliana, please? I'm pissed at this comp so I'm leaving. Good night loves.

Uhm. I'm real bored. It's midnight. The storm aint so bad no more. I guess a tree down the street got knocked over. Either that or somebody got shot, my mom said [hahaha] I punched her kinda hard earlier and I guess she got a bruise. But I warned her that I was gonna do it so it's all good. Then i let her punch me back but she's hella weak lmao. I couldn't get my stupid Amazombies CD today cuz the site was down. Hopefully tomorrow will be fun. Too bad I forgot half the clothes I need for the weekend. I don't wanna go to church on Sunday. It's pointless. I hate emotions because I'm a fool. Musical therapy would do me some good. I would like to be a songwriter if I knew how to write well. hahaa.

Hi I just kinda hate myself right now. No real reason really. Do I ever have a reason for my feelings? Then again...do I always need to have one? idk. Damien should come over sometime and we can take a bunch of crazy pictures so I can make a collage and put them on my door. haha. My computer is being a slut and keeps kicking me off of everything, so I figured wth I may as well write an entry. My parents are gona for the night. And I'm not leaving here until 7. Lucky me. Stuck here with no food or life. [Or cover up AH] Oh well. I'm leaving in two hours anyways. Have a good weekend, please.

[duh I love this song. lmao. 'you're acting like you're gay just to get laid' that's some deep shit] [anyways] I like having this class in computer lab. It gives me time to update this more than usual. So yeah I've been searching around and I found this really cool record label called Go Kart Records and with some of the bands [I was looking up info on the Aquazombies] they let you download whole albums for free. So I was like fuccccck yeah. That's a rad band. haha. And I need to listen to some music by Leftover Crack and Manda & The Marbles. I love music. Goshhh it makes me happy. 27 minutes until class is over. I have to redo my makeup and all that ish. haha I'm such a fairy. PS THE WORDS 'DUMB' 'GAY' 'STUPID' AND 'RETARDED' ARE ILLEGAL TO SAY IN SCHOOL!! [Not just for my school...any school] WTF IS UP WITH THAT When I heard that I was like THAT'S SO FUCKING GAY. lmfao. I guess those words ARE offensives to some people. But those people are fucking stupid. UGH I need to think of new words to say hahaha. Okay. Bye.

I wish my mom didn't spoil me so much Then I wouldn't be a bitch when she wouldn't let me have my way. I yelled at her and called her a queerbag because she won't let a friend spend the weekend over there. I'm such a bitch. I think I made her feel bad too. Now I'm in a bad mood. Go figure. Like I wanna cry. I wish that I wasn't so selfish all the fucking time.

..To be compared to somebody as pretty as Brody Dalle. That's what Skyler [sp?] said to me today. He's real cool. Made me feel all pretty and crap. haha. MY BUS DRIVER USED TO BE AN 'ORIGINAL GOTH' BACK IN THE 70S!! She told me cuz I was the first chick on the bus and she commented my hair. lmao. She used to dye her hair black with silver streaks and wear black head to toe, haha. I would've never suspected that of her. And my math teacher said me and Brittany look like the girl from...Underworld? Idk. I heard that she was pretty, haha. Cool nothing much to say really. I'm tired. And.....idk. Bye.

So me and Brittany came up with a song today. SUCK THE PENIS PENIS KISS THE PENIS PENIS KILL THE JESUS JESUS!! hahaha I woke up hella late for school today. It pretty much sucked. I'm having mixed reactions about my hair. Most people just laugh. But it's all good. UGH WHENEVER I'M AT SCHOOL MY NOSE ITCHES SO BAD AND I CANT ITCH IT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE I'M TRYING TO PICK IT. Go figure. K time to go find some information on mescaline. BYE. PS 1 hour and 7 minutes until school is over.

Ughhhhh My hair is black. It looks kinda nice when I do my makeup all funky. But...idk. I think my whole idea of not giving a shit what anyone thinks has been shot to hell. Maybe it's just because I'm on my period I almost killed my sister earlier And I almost hacked all my hair off. hah. oh I wrote something in my algebra class today that I think I like. So reckless [lets hit the headlines] i sit back each time you stare Because you're destroying me. It's fine, because thats' the closest to my heart will ever be to you again So senseless [Just call me your murder] and that's all. I want to laugh. Or smile. Or something right now. Nothing's really working. PS my parents dont know I dyed my hair black. I'm scared to show them. Bye.

"as your lawyer, I advise you to give me the god damn mescaline!" Lmfao. God you gotta love Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I'm doing a report on mescaline and that line just keeps running over and over in my head. I think I'm gonna go watch that movie sometime today. Since I stole it from my mom...haha. I hope I'm not over at Ashleigh's for too long today because I have homework and ish to get done. I'm still in health working on this silly drug brochure. We have 14 minutes left of class. woo hoo. Brittany's pissed at me again, I think? Who cares. hah. Sure I love her to pieces but I'm not gonna let it get to me when she's being a bitch. Which has been pretty often lately. Okay. That's enough of an update. I spent like a minute and forty five seconds typing all this. Damn I'm good.

I'm dying my hair black tomorrow after school. Ashleigh whent and spent 11 bucks on hair dye for me and says I don't have to pay her back. Isn't that rad. I just hope I don't look too horrid. Justine's gonna murder me. Lmfao. o0MsWallflower0o: hi o0MsWallflower0o: I'm dying my hair tomorrow Kissmebetterboy: not black o0MsWallflower0o: yeah o0MsWallflower0o: ashleigh bought me 11 dollar hair dye Kissmebetterboy: not black o0MsWallflower0o: yeah Kissmebetterboy: no o0MsWallflower0o: yes. Kissmebetterboy: no Kissmebetterboy: lmao not black o0MsWallflower0o: I am dying my hair black Kissmebetterboy: i have selective hearing Kissmebetterboy: so i am choosing not to hear you So yeah Damien got a journal on here, which is real cool-like cuz now I can figure out what's going on inside his head. hah. I'm cheap. I'm buying my formal dress at goodwill hopefully this weekend. haha. I don't care. I really wish I had SOMEONE to go with. But it's all good. Me and Kerry and Ashleigh can just camera whore the whole time. Since that's what we do, haha. SPEAKING OF. I need batteries for my camera. Yeahhh. Well I'm pretty much a queer ass. So I'm done.

I'd love to be a musical therapist when I grow up. That'd be loads of fun. [I'm in english right now working on a career project] Woo hoo. Have a nice day. PS I love you. PPS I get m & ms in about 8 minutes. RAD.