I wimped out about half way on the walk home and ended up calling my mom for a ride. I lit up a cigarette and waited, I thought a whole lot about everything. She picked me up and we were talking about me being cold, then she said "AND YOURE SMOKING AGAIN". I just agreed, I wasn't too much in the mood to really try to get myself out of it or anything. We got home, and she made a big deal and I just went in my room and ignored her. I went out a little later and talked to her, I ended up spilling my life out at her and balling my eyes out. I couldn't hold it in any more, maybe it was just all the ice melting off of my eyes.. or maybe not.. but I lost it. I don't have to hide me smoking any more.. well, thats a plus out of the whole thing I guess. As I was just typing this, my dad came in and had me go to his room and he taked to me about his "life with girls". apparently he overheard my mom being loud as usual and talking to me about you and I. I re-read your journal things.. I've known this about you, I know alot more about you than you think I do. I am a mess right now, I can't even begin to describe to you how I am feeling. I'm going to sleep now, but I'm going to write in this as much as I feel is nessisary over this "break". I think this will be better than me writing you a letter..