Things had been going really good lately. Mike and I had started getting along better, and started being 'friends'. And i use that term loosely because friends for us, means acting like we're dating but not putting a title on it. We'd been spending every single second of our free time together, kissing, cuddling, having sex- the whole 9 yards. Well tonight we made plans to go see a movie with my two friends. I had to work and when I got out, I went to go meet him at a really nice restaurant to maybe grab a few drinks and hang out with him and his cousins. Well when I got there, I saw Courtney, this girl who he had been just friends with- who I wasn't really particularly fond of. It's not that I had a problem with her, or that I disliked her- but I just wasn't too keen on her. Well, Mike was drunk by the time I got there, and I had made a comment about him and Courtney being on a date, which set the whole night off. He immediately started calling me a piece of shit and being rude with me, this and that. He ended up leaving me, my friend Jen, and Courtney at the comedy club. By now, I had already smoothed things out with Courtney so we just decided to go have a girls night. And he kept calling me to tell me how stupid I was, and what a shitty person I am.. and how I start problems wherever I go. What I was mad about was the fact that we had made plans to go see a movie with my friends and I didn't want to blow them off- it had nothing to do with Courtney. So he calls me and tells me- we're done being friends, forget about him- yadda yadda yadda. The same thing every time he's drunk and we end up fighting. And it always ends up the same. I know things won't stay the way they are, but the question I'm asking myself right now, is 'should they'? I love Mike with all of my heart, he's my best friend.. he's just... my person. I go to him for everything, and he's like the only person I hang out with. But honestly, how much longer can I deal with someone telling me how much of a piece of shit I am, and does and says the things he does to me. Do I really deserve to be treated like the bad guy ALL THE TIME? I honestly don't know why I'm still in love with him sometimes and why I still want him around and want things to work out between the two of us.. What I should do, and at the moment, I'm set on- is not calling him and trying to work things out and put this fight in the past and revert to our usual tedancies. I need to just ignore the whole situation and live my life without worrying about him. It's just not fair to always have to be the one to chase someone. I just don't think he'd end up making a first step towards following me at all.. and if that's the case- then I don't need to be involved with someone like that. Love should be a mutual feeling- not one person feels one way, and the other feels sort of the same way but not completely. We've established the fact that we aren't meant to be together right now.. but should we completely end everything? I don't know if I'm that strong. I know Courtney went to go hang out with him after we all went our separate ways- which just adds salt in the wound, even if she has a boyfriend- people aren't always the most loyal or have the highest morals. Why can't I just find someone who feels the same way I do about them who treats me the way i NEED and deserve to be treated.