Six monthes ago my cat lyle died. On Friday, my cat Ophelia died of a illness. It all started after one school afternoon. I was happy celebrating black history month. We had an assembly in the gym and had blacks from all around the state come and preform for us. My favorite was the AA dance. A school of black males. Their dance was hot. Even though I am white I admit that black people have a great sense of style and dance. Everytime I see black person their style is so gorgeous and elegant I am jealous. Their dances are wonderful. Although I am of a different stereotype I am the weirdest person in m school. I love hip-hop style, but I also love punk and goth. Technicaly speaking I love Urban clothing. I will have green hair and wear 80's fashion. Then I will have brown and black hair and wear jeans and a elegant black shirt. Anyway, it was a really great day for me. Afterschool me and my boyfriend went and got something to eat at subway which was own the street. Sharing jokes and memories. I was talking to him about what we would do near the end of the school year. Afterwords we went to dollartree then foodlion and then starbucks. Talking about the school year and what we were going to do. Around five pm I got picked up and then david came over to get his game and controler. He waited there for five minutes and then I heared a scream. "Whats wrong?!" then I heared my cat yowl in pain. Very similar to Lyle. "fuck. david get your ass in the car!" I ran around and got a fleece blanket and grabbed my cat from my mom. We ran to the car and drove david to the bus stop which was by my house. But sadly we had to get gas. "shit" I comforted my cat and began to tear up. "Not again... please lord" I began to pray. As soon as we got to the hospital they took her to the back and I called work. "I might be late" "How late?" "I don't know how long it will take" "Well I'm sorry Stephanie." "Thanks" I hung up and then went to the bathroom to pee. I cried my ass off and waited. Waiting. "Joyce will you please wait in this room" Me and my mother got up and went into the room. Bad memories. It was the same room Lyle died in. I was crying my heart out. I didn't care about my eyeliner. After 10 minutes the vet walked in. "We need to know. CPR or DNR?" My mom looked at me and choked on the words "DNR" I cried my eyes out. They carried her corpse into the room. And my mom held her. I kissed her and told her "I love you" After all she was 19 years old but it still broke my heart. A cat from my child hood... dead. We went home that night and I got ready for work and tried to clean up my face. It was still swollen and red. I fixed my make up and put on my work clothes and went to work. All night long it was hard to put on a smile for the customer when a family member had died. My brother came in later that night and he and with me. He walked in with Ming and his girlfriend. So yea the night went on. I got home and slept on the couch crying my eyes to sleep. Now the next day I went to buy fishnets for a fancy ballet that I went to. It was a great ballet but my thoughts constantly moved towards the sympathy of my dead cat. And now I am typing this up before I go to work. Everything else? Is mixed. Too much to type and I am sorry that I can not type it right now. -Poppingcherries. PS: I can't post a picture of my cat up right now. But I will when I return home.

It was a long week. Even though I have had two weeks off I barely got everything I wanted to get done. I've hardly had time for any of my friends either. When I went to work on Friday, the owner of the Toll House wanted someone to work there. Islam asked me if I could work there and I said I could. So the next day I went to work and they showed me everything I had to work six long hours. Then they asked me to work today. I didn't say no and came like I was asked. Now they expect me to work for them so I officially have two jobs. I tried to get a job interview for my friend and he accepted. Then I told my friend and he didn't want it. either did anyone else. I got pissed off because they complained to me about me getting a job and not them. I hand them a job opportunity and they turn it away. I told them "You know you guys complain about women so much and yet you don't know that you are the exact same way. A whiny bitch. All you do is complain, complain, complain, and when you finally get what you want you turn it away. So if you don't want it then don't fucking bitch to me. Got it?" and it was awkward after that. I was not only pissed off about that but everything else in the previous entry. School starts back up tomorrow and I plan to do an all niter since I've hardly had anytime to myself at all and I have an essay to write. It turns out that the girl I'm covering for is a complete bitch too. She hates me for no reason and she cuts herself and presents it proudly. As long as I don't have to work with her then I'm ok. I will write normal. When I find time. And a quote I need to learn: Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true-Leon J. Suenes ~Insperation to myself~ ~Originaly benzophenone

I have to say that this new years treat is a great one. Seven Pounds. A wonderful movie but very heart breaking and yet warming. I looked at the critic reviews and I was so heart broken. "Grim and morose, Seven Pounds is also undone by an illogical plot.". I was torn. Illogical?! Maybe for a selfish bastard. Well those are my feelings anyway. I felt so happy after seeing this movie. To me it was absolute inspiration (not o kill myself) but help people. Well anyway enough rambling. Happy New Years! I am better then ever!~Popping Cherries

Its the third day in Virginia and I am not aloud to touch the tv remote downstairs with out getting yelled at. There is a tv in our room but it doesn't have comcast. So most of the time I sit in my room and get on the internet and do random crap. It bothers me. And lately I haven't had any calls from David, Hykeem, Katrina, or Davey. I need someone to talk to and its driving me crazy considering they expect me to call them all the time. I'm talking about David and Hykeem. I plan to not call them and just chill but it is so hard when I am so bored. I thought of some reasons that make sense but one call wouldn't hurt. Anyway tomorrow I go back home. I plan to go shopping for presents for when I go back to school. At this moment I'm looking at roller blades and some costumes that might be good for animazement. ~Popping cherries

At the moment I'm humming to pink while cleaning up my sewing room. Currently scanning through all of my old cds. Its so different... New friends, new life, nothing is the same as everything used to be. I hate it. I miss the good old times, my friends, my teachers, everything! Even if it was a pain Middle School were the best moments of my life. At the moment I'm thinking about my love life. That is the only thing that went back to my old self. I absolutely hate love now. To many crushes to many people whining and fusing over me. I had one of my friends threaten to kill himself if he didn't date me. I'm dating a sweet guy at the moment, but I honestly think that my tainted soul isn't right for him. He is very sweet but one thing that I am absolutely sick of is in a relationship, I have to do everything. It should be 50/50. Anyway, I grow sick of this love crap. Sometimes I wonder how boys can like me. When I think about it I have problems, in which make me unique. I'm ADD and LD. I have really bad skin problems to the point if something brushes my skin I get a rash. ADD and LD have a huge impact on everything I do in life. ADD causes me to not pay attention in class, but I am a very creative person. LD (Learning Disorder) Itself impacts my school life. Every time I think about it, I cry. My dream is to become a surgeon. Because of my disabilities I can not become one. If I try maybe but I have such difficulties. It hurts me so much. My other option is sewing of course but what I also wants to do is model in them. My skin condition prevents me from doing so. You see I can not shave with out getting rashes. I can't wear the things I want to wear, I can't do the things I want to do. Its really frustrating. Everyone suggests things like "use lotion". I am very envious. So yeah. School is fucked up, Love relationships, friends, home, work. It is the night before Christmas, and I wish you a Merry one. My one wish, I wish for better health. ~Merry Christmas. -Popping Cherries

This is my new diary. My original one was benzophenone.