Does a crazy man know that he's crazy? Does he realize that he is "abnormal" or a "freak?" Or does he just think that he's normal? Are we all crazy in his eyes? What do his eyes see every day? For all you know, right now you're sitting in a padded white room wearing a straightjacket. For all you know, there's a whole panel of doctors, scientists, and psychologists that are devoted solely to figure out what the hell is wrong with your brain. For all I know, it's the same for me. What about that "crazy" guy? The reason's he's spazzing out, jumping all over the place laughing hysterically over seemingly nothing, is because he's looking at the rest of humanity thinking we're all total idiots. Here's my point. We think we're normal. We think we've identified the crazy people and we've got them locked up so they can't hurt themselves or anyone else. So they can't contaminate us. Corrupt us. Give us their disease. But this is what I have to say. WE are the crazy ones. We are the ones that have no clue what's going on. We're the misfits. The "crazy" people are the only normal ones. They're the only ones with a grasp on life. They're the ones that have it all figured out. Go ahead, call me insane. I'm one big freak show. I'm mental, psycho, demented, whatever other word you can think up. Because it's all true. Get this straight. I AM CRAZY. So are you going to fear me too? Are you going to lock me up? No, of course you're not. Because to you, I'm normal. But that's only because you're crazy too.

I've been thinking today, thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it. Thinking about the meaning of life. Thinking about the answer to life, the universe, and everything... which, of course, is 42. Life isn't supposed to make sense. We as humans aren't supposed to understand it all. Our brains, though complex, are still too simple to comprehend and make sense of everything that happens in our lives. And yet... I think it is possible for someone to go to school, stay drug-free, go to college, get a career, have a family, and die, yet still accomplish absolutely nothing in their life. I think I'm walking that path. Maybe I'm uninspired. Bored, perhaps. Maybe I just don't have anything that's really worth holding onto. Or maybe I'm just heartless. But it doesn't matter why; the fact still remains that I have no calling, no drive, no sense of purpose. I do things I want to do, but they waste time. I do things that might be productive, but my heart's just not in them. ...And then there are the things I wish I had a reason to do. But I don't. No matter where I turn, nothing seems to matter. And that's just my problem. I want to do something that has meaning. Something worthwhile. Something that results in me being a better person. It's okay to waste time. It's okay to do something simply because you can. But I still need something, anything, just one thing that has a purpose. Is that too much to ask for? How do you find a purpose? How do you find inspiration? I've heard it said that whatever makes us happy is enough. I'm not so sure though. I think that it also has to do with what you hate. What makes you afraid. What you'd give anything to be without. Just because you're running toward something doesn't mean you've left other things behind. You can't just reach for the good. You have to push away the bad as well. The scary part is when you go to push away the bad and find you have nothing left. When nothing makes you happy, you know you've got a problem. Welcome to my world. You love me, but you don't know who I am...

hi. my name is cora. or maybe it isn't. maybe it's bob. you'll never know. anyway... welcome to my world. this is where i am whoever i want to be. you can accept me, deny me, listen to me, ignore me, like me, hate me... or you can be somewhere in between. and that's exactly what my world is about. there are no extremes. no big, no small. no good, no evil. it's just neutral. if you have something to say, you can say it and it doesn't matter if i agree with you or not, because i'm just an enigma. i'm just here to express the way i feel. and hey, if that interests you, then good for you. if not... feel free to waste your time. that said... this is me (or maybe not) saying goodbye, until another day...