I thought I no longer liked Cody. Honestly, I really did. But I don't know why I thought this, because ever since he kissed me, it was all I could think about. And now that he apparently started dating someone else, I feel heartbroken. Cody was that boy I could think about when I said I hated all other boys, the one who I always knew I could cuddle up to when I needed it. And now I have never felt more alone. And not to mention confused. Ryan apologized to me for acting like a jackass and wants to hang out with me again. But do I want that? I've told myself not to care about him, but look at what happened when I tried that with Cody. I can't take being hurt again. I really can't. I wish I could say I quit boys and MEAN IT. But if I do say that, I'd only be lying to myself again.