Today is a Saturday. We were supposed to have our first competition. We didn't. Off from soccer. Monday practice, Tuesday, game, band practice, Wednesday, practice, Thursday game band practice, Friday Stevie's wedding, Saturday, game, Band competition. I really wish I had a best friend. But not if it's going to be them. There are just so many things. Firstly, I don't appreiate how Mari talks about EVERYONE. I can't help but wonder if she talks about me too. Steph is the same as she always was, and I still don't know what to do as far as her. Krisi is the same and she's just out there. It seems like one day she'll like me another day she won't. I can't break into that group. I want so badly to be part of a group. Maybe that's why I'm not. I don't know. All I know is I can count the friends I have there : Mari, Steph, Krisi, Lips, Lex, Bert, Emilia, Topher. No one else likes me that much, and I'm not relaly sure if they all even like me. All I know is that Bert has his own group with people I don't like. Lex does too. Topher is way younger than me. Emilia has Melissa. Lips has Mike and Kristin. And the other three have each other. Where do I fit in? With Cory, who isn't there. Have I grown dependent on him? I don't know. And then there's always the thought of do I like him or not. I mean of course I like him, but sometimes I wonder if I love him. There's nothing I hate more than words without meaning. And I'm so stressed about school this year. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm screwed for getting into the colleges I'd always hoped for. My scoers aren't gonna be high enough, my grades aren't high enough. I just suck. I hate feeling like this, and I hate thinking about it. I always overanalyze myself.