ugh...i've been trying SOOOOO hard to be happy but i'm just not. and, i've been trying so hard to ignore a certain family but i just miss them so much but they want NOTHING to do with me...i've caused too much DRAMA in their family apparentlly. oh well...all i needed was help and it obviously backfired. i just get to upset when i read some of their old journals or diaries from the summer when we used to be friends. it's so sad how different we all are. it sucks. massivly. and i'd honestly give anything to have last summer back...even though it wasn't my best. i just hope they know that i love them...always. if anything were to happen to any of them i'd probably die. they're the most amazing people ever but i guess they're not accepting change...i don't know. i just want to be able to say hi or see them without thinking they hate me so much. whatever. 4 freaking years