The winter was relatively warm that year. I remember all of the girls in my school going home that day, except for her. It was January, an unusual time for the sun to come out and shine, going to the beach, but nothing went usual this season. At least, not now. School had just gone out, Cassie and I stood near an advertisement, my friends, my normal friends, were sitting on a bench a close distance. I looked in their direction, knowing they wouldn't look back. Had it been a month earlier, I would've hugged them and laughed at stupid jokes. I missed sanity. I fought the tears from my eyes as Cassie began slamming her head in the advertisement of a school event. She told me how afraid she was and that she didn't want the school to know, although they did. I told her I could kill the person who told and then I began yelling, not too loud, but there was an increase in my voice. There were tears in my eyes and I told her that I could get expelled and I'm so afraid and everyone told me I was going to die. Then I told her it would be okay. My friends who I didn't know then, missed me too. They looked to each other, shocked, listening to what I was crying about. They were wondering desperatly what the true story was, than what was being spread around the school. They wouldn't dare ask me. They were too afraid of the truth. If what was being told around the school was true, I would surely be sent to an asylum and tramatized forever. They continued listening as I told Cassie that I just wanted to forget. I told her that girls are so stupid these days, that there was more to the world than Laguna Beach. Later, I guess Cassie and I were the only two girls left in the fortress of our Catholic All-girls high school, with the exception of some other few doing homework a good distance away from our voices. As we waited for our mothers to come, we grew impatient. I said goodbye to another friend, I don't remember who it was. I turned and Cassie was gone. I still felt she was there, so I looked for her. The first place I decided to go, I found her. She was near the white roses next to the halls. She was smiling, with waterfalls on her cheeks. I asked her what was wrong, though I already knew. She didn't really answer so I kept prying and attempting to try and understand her. But nobody could understand us. She continued giggling insanely with thick salty tears sliding off her face, drenching her cheeks. I told her the worst way to cry is when you start laughing. She laughed harder and nodded before I started crying with her. We bawled as she talked about Brett and what was happening to us. It made me cry harder when she started talking about Maya, and why she had to leave school early today. So we ran through the empty halls and we fell, laughing hysterically at our tears and how frightened we were and how we didn't believe in anything they said, but it somehow scared us. A teacher, the dean, actually was passing by and she saw the tears in our eyes and the volume of our laughter. She questioned us and I replied that we were simply laughing at a joke, and naturally led us to tears. She smiled, not quite believing us, but knowing our situation, and clicked her heels away. We found ourselves sprawled across the cold green grass. The sky had many clouds and we never stopped laughing. Eventually we began talking, trying to keep our tears in. "There's gonna be a war." She said. I didn't look to her, but I kept staring at the clouds. I don't think she noticed, but whenever we lay looking at clouds, she would say the same thing. That she used to believe that God was up in the clouds on one side. The devil would be on the other side, and they'd be fighting back and fourth. I never agreed with this. I never gave the devil that much credit. Considering I had been raised in a private school. The catholic church never brainwashed me, but I had my beliefs. I didn't care for many of the rules they restricted, but I've always believed in God. More than others, actually. I had proof of God. I wondered where my mom was, and what was taking her so long to get here. I listened as Cassie told me about her worries. I told her that I never trusted anyone. We got back into talking about the highly discreet and frightening subject, which only insane people could understand. We watched the thick, cumulous clouds move slowly across the sky. "So do you think they're real?" I asked, I already knew the answer. "Hahahahh...I don't know anymore. No. No, I don't. I really don't." She replied. "Don't you kind of wish they were?" I started laughing again. "Yes!" We both started crying, too. She looked to me, I wouldn't take my eyes off the sky. I always believed God was so far up there. I couldn't see him, but I could feel him. "I mean, don't you wish they were real? As an excuse" I paused for air inbetween laughter "for our insanity?!" we laughed until we almost passed out. Something had to interrupt. “Lara?” A very professional voice spoke. I looked up, it was the conselor. “Shit,” I whispered to Cassie. “It’s my turn to go.” I didn’t want to go. “Yes?” I answered. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” “Sure.” I said across the lawn. I was afraid. I knew what this was about. It was the moment I had been dreading. I took a clever amount of time to hug Cassie to whisper in her ear. “What do I tell her?” I grew nervous. “I don’t know.” She said. “The truth.” And the truth... well... the truth... will set me free. Literally. I will be doomed for sure. I walked away with the conselor, still looking at Cassie, her light brown hair was slightly messy from the grass, her cheeks red. My heart was pounding. I wasn’t ready to admit anything, anything at all.