Yeah Im actually going by Alisha's to pick up my month old check and cash it today.. Isnt that just great! lmao a 70 dolla check. Woop de woot! lol. Well anyways.. Johns sis asked me to go to the Zoo with them today, but idk what their doing.. they'll prolli call whenever.. Yup yup. I think im gunna go by some hair dye today and re dye my hair before school pix tomorrow.. Im still trying to go back to my original color..

Well we've been moved in for 2 weeks now. And all I can say is it's great. It's totally different from living a city life. And John gets bored easily but were trying to find things to do. I've been in school for 2 days now, and people are starting to talk to me. "the new girl" It's a total prep school, which I manage to somehow like.. it's nothing like a milwaukee school at all, its just calm. And I seem to like it, and half the school already knows i'm Stephanie! Isn't that just nice? :-) Its a small town in another week everyone is going to know me :-/ which Im not so sure if thats a good thing yet or not.. Hmm... well heres something RANDOM! .: x stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? AIR .: x what is the last thing you watched on tv? The Crucible, well a movie in English 3 which I wasnt suppose to have, but got it changed to English 4 today!! yay.. go me! .: x without looking, guess what time it is: " 4:30? .: x now look at the clock. what is the actual time? 4:24 .: x with the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The traffic outside, and someone just beeped like 4 times on this damn Freeway.. .: x when did you last step outside? what were you doing? an hour and 25 minutes ago.. Had to walk home from this middle school that my School bus drops everyone off at.. .: x before you came to this website [started this survey], what did you look at? Like everyone else has said... MYSPACE .: x what are you wearing? Lazy Aero pants, and a white tee. .: x did you dream last night? yes .: x when did you last laugh? Leaving my new high school, a girl was talking to me about her friend calling her during school.. She said something stupid and we just laughed.. A new friend I met today.. .: x what is on the walls of the room you are in? Nothing but boxes stacked up from moving... .: x seen anything weird lately? A school that doesnt have any black people!!.. Thats REALLY WIERD FOR ME! .: x what is the last film you saw? I already told you, the crucible.. Not a good thing.. but a real movie was last night watching LUCKY NUMBER SLEVEN.. pretty crazy movie if you ask me.. .: x if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? CLOTHES! Or a pretty ring for my hubbie. .: x if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Nothing.. What happens will happen and theres nothing you can do about it.. :-/ .: x do you like to dance? ALL THE TIME! .: x george bush: FUcK him.. .: x imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Brooklynn Rose .: x imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Antonio Ramon or John Szwalkiewicz The III. (the 3rd) .: x would you ever consider living abroad? What the fuck does that mean?? .: x what do you want god to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? Something nice Plz.... lasts last cigarette:: 15 minutes ago last alcoholic drink:: Idk.. a while ago last car ride:: This morning to school. last kiss:: This morning.. my babys back in MKE! :-( But he'll be here in an HOUR! yay! last good cry:: Yesterday when my kitty beat my ass.. ;-) last library book checked out:: idk something I read last year.. I read alot of books not sure.. last movie seen in theatres:: Does bootleg count? ;-) last movie rented:: Ooo i havent done that in a while.. so id remember.. last cuss word uttered:: Shit! last beverage drank:: Starbucks Strawberry Frappucino.. im still DRINKING IT! :-) last food consumed:: A big pretzle w/ cheese last crush:: My baby john last phone call:: my mom and john.. on 2 diff lines.. :-/ last time showered:: this morning last shoes worn:: Nike last cd played:: A mix with Rock.. last item bought:: Makeup and bedding for myne and johns KING SIZE MOTHER FUC**R last download:: IDK! last annoyance:: A boy in my gym class last disappointment:: John being bored :-( last soda drank:: Mountain dew last thing written:: Homework in Algebra 2 last key used:: obviously the last one i just used D! last word spoken:: Luv you last sleep:: last night last im:: My brother overseas last sexual fantasy:: idk last weird encounter:: kno clue.. last ice cream eaten:: Fear factor push pops last time amused:: today! last time wanting to die:: duh, never... last time in love:: right now, and forever more ¢¾ last time hugged:: today from my baby! last time scolded:: uh whenever john was bored last.. last time resentful:: idk last chair sat in:: this computer chair last lipstick used:: carmex last underwear worn:: Pink ones! last bra worn:: PINK ONE! last shirt worn:: 2 sweatshirts, and 2 a shirts.. beaderz.. last webpage visited:: Myspace! But it's all new, and I'm making the most of it!

Well were moving out on Saturday already! I honestly can't believe it but it's happening. So i've withdrawled from Central, and I'm going to finish my last year down in Illinois. That's all.. buh bye now

So it's offical, were MOVING. But not in a year like I thought. More like 1 month and a 1/2. Were moving on October 1st, and thats just before my birthday. How dandy. This may be awesome, and yet it could turn out to be a reck! We will find out, I guess.. So last night I had to sit down with my father and draw out a floor plan of their business that will be up in a month or two. This is totally caotic for my father! Yikes. But on a simpler note, John will be moving in with us. I will have to drive to school here in West Allis every morning. Even though its only a 45 minute ride. It will be a little challenge. But I CANT WAIT!! Alright so my Senior Schedule folkz.. Yearbook Hr 1 English 12 Hr 2 Anatomy Phys. Hr 3 Health Careers Hr 4 Lunch Hr 4c Physics Hr 5 Adv. Algebra Hr 6 & No 7th Hour. Which my schedule may change because I might cut the day a little more early seeing I only need 3 credits to graduate.. So I really only need English 12 and 2 other classes.. Idk yet though, we'll see.

Life has been treating me completely Awesomely! I've been trouble free for a while, I think my life is perfectly on track, not to jinx it or anything! :-) John has been the total sweetheart like always, actually better than ever. We manage to come across a few bumps, but what people don't. I love spending everyday of my life with him. He is totally amazing! So here's the thing. We might be moving to Illinois. Within this next year and the best part is John will be moving with. Were planning on living on my great great grandparents old property. It will be a big change but were all ready to take it. It will be a huge change from these old towns of good ol' Wisconsin. Even though we will be right on the border. We will be like 20 minutes away from Six Flags which is a total +++ plus +++ it would be amazing! But of course this will be my last year at good old Central High. And I'll be working and going onto college afterwards. Wow this is going to be completely hectic but I think we will all manage to deal.. Living on 180 year old property.. As long as it doesn't fall down while im living in it.. lol.. It is in pretty good shape for being 180 yrs old + that. But we'll have a pool and my great uncle next door and my 2nd cousins property all around us.. Man they got the money, which will be idk. To go from the dirt to money bags... AHA thats funny... well whatever they'll be plenty of jobs for me to take up.. We will just see where gods creation of roads lead us too...

Well I haven't been around on this diary in a while. So I figured I'd post a few. My life is going great. I'm actually a little bored right now John is going to call me back in a few minutes, he went grocery shopping with his mom. Yes at 11:43 at night. His mom doesn't get home till 11:30 so it's normal for them. Hehe. BUt anyways. Life is crazy like always there had been a little drama with our friends relationships but me n john have been giving a helping hand.. John is off looking for a job because he's sick of being lazy. Lol. Same for me seeing I have to start paying insurance on my car. And I have alot to pay for seeing its my senior year starting in September. Well that's about it just a few I'm not telling life stories anymore. Oh yeah and me and john have been together ughmm.. since 04-17-04 so 2 yrs. and plus!

I dedicate my new layout to the one I've spent some amazing memories of poprocks with.. Hehe John of course! And a special thank you to the one who let me take the icons.. I tell ya she has some great ICONS for ya if u wanna see um go to SweetSunrise.. Her icons are AmAzInG! :-D .THANK U.

CURRENTLY CONSTRUCTING NEW BACKGROUNDS AND OTHER SHIT! :-D TAKE CARE LUV YAZ!

So Im staying home from school again today. I have to go to the doctor to get my infection checked up on. I haven't got worse but I haven't got better with my antibiotics.. And their all gone :( John's coming over later when he wakes up, I figured I'd let him sleep after I called him this morning and woke him up.. like every morning! :-) I luv um he's so damn silly. So John's family is going somewhere Thrusday and they wont tell me where were GOING! Gah, Idk whyyy... Bogus man straight up bogus! :-( They wont tell me boo whoo.. So Anyways i'm probably going to go and design my myspace a little different today.. Lets see if I remember them codes. :-/

So yesterday I went to the Emergency room for 2 hours waiting to be seen. It was alot easier and quicker than having to wait till Saturday or Sunday to schedule in with my doctor, right? So I have an infection. :-( Boo whoo.. Well yeah i'm really bored it's only 6th hour. One more hour. So 7th hour me and Dezarae are switching seats acrost the room because of that "stuck up chick" I told ya'll about. I guess her and Dezarae got into it yesterday again so Ms. B wants me and her to move away from that chick. OH well i'm glad to avoid a fighting situation. SO ttyl I havent a damnedest thing left to say except we had a firedrill last hour.. hehe i loved it koz it was during ms. davig's class! aha.

.. youz hooked on crack .. . youz hooked on weed . ... youz hooked on phonics ... . but you still cant read . ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Spendin money left and right Stayin up, all day and night ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Roses are Red Violets are Blue I love a boy But its simply not you So dont get sad or not even mad You kno the saying... "get glad!" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ everytime my hands get cold i think of you holding them tight just trying to keep them warm everytime i watch sumthing we watched at ur house together i think of u holding me so tight every time i see a color, no matter which one i think of u and your colorful personality see baby ur always on my mind even wen we arent together or talking ur always goin to be on my mind {ALWAYS!} b/c i love u soo effin much ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ im not scared of heights im scared of falling im not scared of the dark im scared of whats in it && im not scared of dying from falling in love im scared of our love dying ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *True Love* (A)ccepts you as you are (B)elieves in you (C)ares about you (D)oesn't give up on you (E)nvisions the whole of you(even the unfinished parts) (F)orgives your mistakes (G)ives unconditionally (H)elps you understand (I)nvites you over (J)ust be with you (K)eeps you close at heart (L)oves you for who you are (M)akes a difference in your life (N)ever Judges (O)ffers their support (P)icks you up because he misses you (Q)uiets your fears (R)aises your spirits (S)ays nice things about you & stands up for you (T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it (U)nderstands you (V)ery considerate of your emotions (W)alks beside you (X)plains thing you don't understand (Y)ells when you won't listen because sometimes you just need to hear it (Z)aps you back to reality ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Ur the PeAnUt tO my BuTTeR> Ur the StAr tO my BuRsT> Ur the M tO my M's> Ur the pOp tO my TaRt> Ur the MiLkY tO my WaY> Ur the FrUiT tO my LooP> Ur the MiLk tO my DuDs> Ur the BeSt tO my FrIenD> Ur the CoCoA tO my PuFFs> Ur the iCe tO my cReAm> Ur the HeLp tO my MeNd> *..but mostly..* Ur the BoY to my fRiEnD>!*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *:•. •°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.•°•.×.•°.•:* .•:* *A killer will stab you in the front,*:• *:•.A friend will stab you in the back,.•:* * .•:* *A guy will stab you in the heart...*:•. *:•.But boyfriends dont carry knives.•:* * *:•.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.×.•°•.•°•.×.•°•.* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Sometimes I wish life had a pause, rewind, and fast-forward button..to pause during those great times in your life, rewind to all those fun times in your past, and fast-forward through those rough times. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ you talk about love; we live the love; your jealous cause u cant have it; so go on and admit it♥ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I awlays get in the BIGGEST fights with the wun I care about the most.. ..because he's the one who i'm willing to fight for.. <3 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ...So I'm sendin you a little Valentine wrapped up with love. A little piece, a little light to remind you of...I'm waiting for you, praying for you. I wanted you to see. So i'm sendin you a little Valentine...till you realize you mean everything to me. Come into these arms of mine. Where you belong......So I'm sending you a little Valentine wrapped up with love. A little piece a little light to remind you of. I'm waitin for you prayin for you I wanted you to see so I'm sendin you a little Valentine till you come away with me... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Luv u john those were 4 you babey j. Valentines day 2morrow, what r u gon DO!?

So I have a headache right now.. I got into a stupid fight with this total "stuck up" chick 7th hour, you know those gossip chicks.. The last hour of the day when everything was going great all day long! :-) It's okay though i'm home now.. I just can't believe the stupid shit people want to fight about these dayys. It wasn't even started with me but I totally told the chick to back off and she shut her mouth. But yeah it's all going good now. :-) I'm going by johns in a little bit, my other mom is coming to pick me up in a little bit. I think im going to smoke a cigg. before she gets here.. Ughmmm.. Yeah. So anyways the dance was fun like always. I love dances if you know me, you'd know! :-) John was kinda crabby there. So I stayed at his house Saturday night and helped babysit tammy's kids. It was funnn! We blew up the air matress and we all slept in the living room Saturday night. Fun! Watching movies and stuff! So yesterday me and john cleaned up his basement. Omg I don't like his basement at all, it scares the hell out of me. I swear there is come kind of spirits in his basement! I totally felt wierd everytime we went down there. Freaked me out! And today john called me saying all the basement lights burnt out today when he went down there with George.. Ugh my gawsh. But yeah i'm going to go smoke my cigg. ttyall lata.

So Im waiting on John.. We hafta go to the mall and get my dress for tomorrow nights dance! Sweethearts! I can't wait it's going to be so much fun man.. Ugh I just cant wait!

So I have a few minutes to write because the bell rings at 1:55pm. And its 1:46pm. So anyways I'm in yearbook and I totally should start my page because it's due next week. But its really easy to do it so I think im just going to procrastinate on it. Just a little I guess. Sorry :-( So john and I are going to the mall tomorrow to get a dress for sweethearts! We were going to go yesterday to look for a dress, but I had alot of homework last night. So we ended up not going instead he helped with my homework! (By getting the damn supplies!) lol. So we've been having some fun times, I think after the sweethearts dance were going to go see Final Destination 3. That'll be exciting! Either that or bowling... Not sure yet and its 2 days away! Jeebus! Well sorry I never finished the story yesterday I actually did my homework this hour then.. Well I have to go to Child Developement 2 and learn about little toddlers! I think I know enough Kelsi is a darling, but a total brat still! TTYL pplz It'll be 1 yr. 10mnthz as of the 17th!

And well this would be exactly where I ended up... Back Here It's nice to look back at the good things I said verses the crap I wrote in my other diary all the negativity that took over me. Wow to actually believe I let a simple person upset me that much. So on Saturday somebody called the police to my boyfriends house. It was John, Storm, Matthew and I sitting around watching a movie. Somebody called saying we were "Smoking weed, Drinking Alcohol with underage Drinking, Abusing the kids, and Throwing a Party" and supposibly one of the neighbors did it.. Well gtg ill write later.

Honestly Im tired. I'm tired of all your lies.. Your fake ass cries. Im sick of you always trying to bring up the past, obviously the past didn't last.. So can you just forget and forgive and just let me live? Stop trying to always come after me with ridiculous things, All i want is to see what tomorrow brings.. You always manage to place on me guilt, I have no guilt but the shit you've built. So just leave me be and don't even try and say sorry.. I honestly can't stand it no more there is nothing left to say.. Maybe you'll just let it all go one of these days.. Just realize it's all bullshit and throw out the past koz I have many of problems with you here threatening my ass. You always say I threaten you but what the hell did I really truely do? I didn't say Hi one day and blew you off, and all of a sudden you think im showin off? You think im on drugs now and have nothing better to say.. You blame everything on me in every possible way. Can't you just get over yourself and realize I dont like you people anymore.. Or can't you just take that your daughters a whore? It isnt my fault you dont know she sleeps with so many guys, hell her own boyfriend dont know steve was her first guy.. It aint my business to tell the story, maybe one day she'll tell u the truth and say she was never a virgin long. Ah well thats her business when to tell u, your little baby doll.. That's why she manages to tell you lies everyday, to say she never talked to me before anyway. When we use to be close friends and all you did was try and break us up, and I know you did it on purpose your the only one that ever accused me of stuff. So don't blame it on what I did, because I never did wut you said.. You find rumors to share, n things to explain, and yet you do it all to me in vain. Nobody cares about me and what I do, so just leave me be and FUCK YOU.

..Obviously by the lyrics, you know who this is 2.. Once again No matter what you say or do.. I'mma be freee, koz imma be me. -------------- See I ain't never think I would have a situation Where the people around me just envy I must replace them See I always thought the people that watch me grow Would want to see me blow fa'sho but little did I know They ain't never really wanna see me smiling. They couldn't take the fact that I was really shining And in my heart I knew they was wishing I was stop 'Cause they don't me to rise and be on top. *And all that jealousy and hate Can be right in front of your face And it's gone hurt for you to see But it ain't your fault just let it be* **So I'm gone close my eyes And I'm gone live my life Despite what you think I'ma be free 'cause I'ma be me.** See everybody wanna have something to talk about So they pointing their fingers and always running their mouths. No matter how you try to satisfy someone else Giving so much of yourself yo' love but it's never enough. The more you give them the more want they ain't happy And they don't see all you do to make 'em happy They don't appreciate it till you walk away But you don't want to hear by now it's too late. *And all that jealousy and hate Can be right in front of your face And it's gone hurt for you to see But it ain't your fault just let it be* **So I'm gone close my eyes And I'm gone live my life Despite what you think I'ma be free 'cause I'ma be me.** What they don't understand is that I'ma keep livin' my life and surviving I'ma keep pushing and striving and climbing and grinding 'Cause ain't no time to be crying, I been providing with the strength to carry my way And I'ma be ok 'cause I'm gone live my life my way And you can say what you wanna say It wont affect the way I'm living I'm winning by being free again **So I'm gone close my eyes And I'm gone live my life Despite what you think I'ma be free 'cause I'ma be me.**

Going back to Hazeleyes..

It is what it is, as of the few days I haven't stopped to think to thank god for what I have. And yet there are so many around that have lost the ones they love and have the September 11th tradgety today to live with and cry for. So I guess today I'm going to have to slow my row and just thank god. When im kickin it with my girls and guys 2day, I'm going to restrain from talking shit, from being upset about stupid things.. Im just going up to St. Gregs and letting it all go. Honestly, why fight with those that use to matter, why waste my time on this earth with all the negitivaty? There's no point in it @ all.. So Remember those we lost on this day 4 years ago. And just thank god for what he gave you today.

Fuck that stupid shit that's been goin on. I am who I am and nobody is going to change me! I didn't even change idk why people are so choked up on bullshit, always saying I changed. God people need to grow up and try different things as they live their lives. I can change if I need to weither its for better or worse, nobody is going to say a damn thing to change that.. So why do they try? Idk i'm not going to even think of it because it doesn't have shit to do with me. Oh well if you really want to try, keep trying.. Just maybe one day I hope you realize you can't change me.. So maybe one day u'll finally realize you dont have to bother.