Well, Wowza. This si ym frist time writing in this thing in FOREVER .. i missed this thing much ♥ well. right now i'm talking to garecht ^.^ one of the coolest cats ever to exsist ((i spelt that wrong huh?)) but Anywho for liek the past year. or however long i havnt written.. all i've really done was get into a realtionship with a huge jack ass... haha. so i broke up with him.. and i started to get with another kid..and--- he jsut stopped talkign to me. lol i dont know what happend to that? *shrugs* uhm.. i've been working on a book now for like 6 months.. yet i havnt written much for the past 2 months. because alot of shit has been happening. i dk. it's cute i guess. it's about a girl, who talks to you, and tells you how life really is from her point of view..it talks about all the diffrent paths you can take and where you'll end up- ect. she tells you the secret's about living.. so oyu'll never make the same mistakes she did...- when she was alive .. dun dun dun. lol ehh im not in the mood to exactly explain how it is... but it's much better then how i just described it. uhg i'm tired guys.. im sorry for such a short and boreing first entry back o nthis thing.. i'll be sure to write again tomarrow though. ♥ Dash

thing's happen. ya know? but there's things in life. that seem like, it just isnt right. "it was never going to happen". you'll think to yourself... even worse , theirs things you could have changed... to prevent all of this from happening...missing someone. and loving somone...is not as easy as it seems. but if you love them as much as you say. you would have prevented this in the first place. if this was meant to be. then fix it...because,theirs no such thing as being to late... no such thing*

Wow- what a night.. wat a week. wat a month.. everything was falling apart- but everything has seemd to pull it'self back together. well my life time story is- i had this crush- and he ended not being that great- and while i had this crush i've been talking to this other kid... one of the nicest kids ive ever talkd to . or met... and after me n my crush went downhill-. this kid. swept me off my feet-... and showed me i never needed him in the first place- he keeps me happy :] and make's me laugh. and i know for a fact he likes me, because he tells me all the time-- but secretly i clearly like him.. but he doesn't know-... and i'm crossing my fingers and biteing my lip... for this to be somthing to never forget ♥ so make a wish- and count to ten.

You can take it all away I don't need it Underneath, i'll still be the same You can take it all away I don't need it, it's not me You can take it all, take it all away I'll still be the same Are you hiding still? Don't you want to love yourself? Don't you know that someone will? Time can turn it around Leave it all and strip it down That's the only way to find it out Are you following the sound, the sound of your heart? Beating

And oh the awkward way that you recoil when i get close And oh the awful grin that greets me when I'm know I'm wrong So down on hands and knees, choking, gasping, dripping spit, I just cant make good on any of these promises Then he asked me "What does that mean?" Whats another word for desperate Repetition makes an impression Whats another word for desperate I wont be around here for to very long So tip the B o t t l e back Bubble foam and watch it break We can all be sure something awful's comin this way So take this medicine in measured doses Take your time cause they'll tear into you They will they will they will

Midwest love affair I bend when I am bored, late-night-liquor-brew will lead me to the floor. Can we fake it? Can we make believe? I'm so full of love it deeply sickens me. But all I can do is close my eyes, and cross my heart and hope to die, 'cause you don't fucking listen, when I'm around. The least you could do is take it back, all the vicious remarks and verbal attacks, 'cause I can't fucking stand it when you're around Midwest aftermath the rumors start to rise Did I truly do the things that you've described? They must hate me, every single one it just sickens them what I consider fun. But all I can do is close my eyes and cross my heart and hope to die, 'cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around. The least you could do is take it back, all the vicious remarks and verbal attacks 'cause I can't fucking stand it when you're around. But all I can do is close my eyes and cross my heart and hope to die, 'cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around. The least you could do is take it back, all the vicious remarks and verbal attacks 'cause I can't fucking stand it when you're around. No, I Can't Fucking S.t.a.n.d it... When You're A r O un D

there's some thing's you can't F.a.k.e

okayyy... friday okay well i went to sadie's house...went n had to watch her dance..... that was boreing as hell. went back to her house. got high.. ended up in the hottub naked.. wat a suprise... ate tuns of food. flippd this kid ben off.... umm fell asleep... Saterday Woke up, at sadies.. ate food. then my mom came n got me. went back to myhouse. got ready for the concert...got to the concert. it was great.. except i was like. i dn... kinda pissed off/sad... wen i was there. but dont worry about why...got a hug from the lead singer of underoath, and got my shoe sighnd... amde lots of friends.. chain smoked liek crazy. i dn.. i guess it was only becasue i was upset...wellmy dad came n found me... he yelld at me cuz i was taking to logn saying goodbye to people. so then got in the car.. drove home in the rain... wich kinda made me feel a little better. but at the same time kidan worse? i dn hard to explain. got home, ate food. then donny andeveryone else that was in the other car showd up. i talkd to brian for a little about the mosh's n stuff... and i went n took a shower... ummm. now i'm on the computer waiting for sumone to get on cuz i wanna talk to them baout suttin.. and i'm lsiteing to Letters For A Lover (my brothers band) i jsust relized how good at drums brian is. lol, wow..... but yeah nayways.. i'm guna go now... You O n l y Want What You Can't Get

i know all that you need, i could give you everything when your so far you'll forget about me.

i'm gunna smile like nothing s wrong. talk like everything s perfect, act like it's just a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me

.NORTHERN LIGHTS. ERGGGG!! im so excited!!! fucking A Right! haha, im going to northern lights for the battle of the bands show! and L.F.A.L is playing.. A.K.A my brother's band, Letters for a lover... Ooo gooooosh. i can't wait. lol, there deffinitly gunna win... But anywho.. im most excited about the mosh's! Dave,Ash,Tom, n dave's gf. are all on there way here to follow me my sister james (from nsc) to northern lgihts or wat not... If you didnt allready know ashley is my BEST FRIEND and we allllways tlak baout going to big concerts n shit together. but yet we have only made our wayy to redmens together -_- ... you gatat understand, ashley is one of those short, cute girls, with liek no power behind her punch. haha i cant wait to get this girl in a mosh. lmao but anywho im outie. i'll DEffintly write later saying how the show was ♥ PEACE ♥

And all I can .t.a.s.t.e. is this moment And all I can b.r.e.a.t.h.e is your life Cause [[ s o o n e r or l a t e r ]] it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight

Now that I'm grown I've seen marriages -f --a ---l ----l to p.i.e.c.e.s. Now that I'm grown I've seen friendships fall to .p.i.e.c.e.s. Weekend warriors, and our best friends. The writers weren't kidding about how all good things must end. Then again some things are far too good to go ahead and let go. --up Always________or ------------down never down and out. You dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak. Speak now or forever hold your peace in peices

AHHH!!! summer's over! this sucks!!!! but believe it or this past week has been great!! like right now i'm sooooooooo happy! lol, i'm having the time of my life listeing to this band n singing to myself dancing jsut being crazy like i used to be--- before my whole life fucked up. i havnt been this happy for atleast 2 years. not even kidding. this is CRAZY. i jsut wanna go n climb a mountin, get to the top n scream "fuck you" hahahaahaaa, i dn wat im talkin about but im-- ahhh. i dn!! this is great!!!! :DDDDDD i'm sooooooo like- i dn. i'm so happy n im having so much fun. and im pretty much all by myself right now! and i'm SOBER!!!! :-O i know!!! lol. CRAZY RiGHT??!?!!!?!? muahahhahha starting now, i'm a whole new person so kiss my ass :) -FUCK THE WORLD! -SMILE-

-welll... hmmm...lets see it's monday- and school for most of my friends starts tomarrow. so yeah. school for me stars thrusday... Summers pretty much over- jessica is here. lol the love of my life... so i feel weird typing right now- n talking about wats been going on cuz. this btich is breathing down my neck :) adn ofcourse she's laughing about it- cuz she is reading everysingle thing i write right now. n i'm about to punch her in the face. haha but anyways----gatta put my sunglasses on so i look cool- me n jess r singing right now so i'll wrtite again later :p * Over and in, last call for sin While everyone's lost, the battle is won With all these things that I've done All these things that I've done (Time, Truth, and Hearts) If you can hold on

well i'm going to my camp in vermont tomarrow... i can't wait-

Wow, i've never realized how strong the word Hate can really Be... or how powerful the word Love really was... i havn't been taking the time to notice the great thing's in life. but i finally sat everything out, and relized i was a complete fuck up... i never relized the word's i have used. or how they affected people or wat they really can do. they were always just words... but every word has some kind of meaning behind it...- and most word's can hurt... really badly. i never took the time to relize that just one word can affect somone's whole day, week. month.year. or even life. it can tottaly change what you think of yourself, or how you think of somebody else...- word's can be the strongest form of human's body language... or in other words. verbal language. you don't notice but one word could affect more than just that person you said it to. it's just like killing two birds with one stone.

guys, i'm feeling better now ! :) emily came over, and is staying until friday now so im excited..... and hmm. yesterday pat came over n hung out with us. then me n emily went to amsterdam, and randomly showed up at blatch's lol. i love him 8) he's a loser. but anyways. we got high n we got lost in a field. lol, then we went n swang :) !!!!!!! i love to swing x3 but a nywyas. yeah this week turned out to be okay after all. i guess :D but yeahh. ill write more later -Dashhh

okay... so fuck this... Everything is a Fucking Joke.. nothing Ever goes right...for me atleast. i'm more lost in this world than i've ever been before... i came to the conclusion, guys arn't worth my time. Love doesnt Exsist. Everyone in the world doesnt know how to epriciate wats really going on. and.. i dont even fuckin know. i'm having such a bad fucking night.. Brian's a complete jackass. n i don't know if i can ever look at him the same... he randomly like left me for a girl... that. i dn... i dont even know who she is... but she's probley wayy prettier than me. smarter. she's probley got a great personality. straight A student. great smile. she's probley not a Huge fuck up like me.... she's probley Miss.Perfect... unlike me.... i'm not pretty.. at all. i'm deffinitly not smart... i'm a goofball, i dont take anything seriously... i'm D/F student at the most. i bairly smile. so who knows... i Smoke Weed, Drink/... Smoke cigerettes. I've done shrooms... i most deffinitly Drink.. i'm.. jsut a fuck up. i cry over everything. i get---- i dont even know... the point is she's probely wayy better than me. and thats the part that hurts the most.... that. i'm just a Fuck Up.. i'm not worth Anyone's time. i'm... just--- I'm actually crying right now as we speak. i'm such a fucking baby...- Oh my goddd... i can't keep a relationship. it always get's messed up... they eithor cheat on me use me.. ...--- jsut plain Assholes to me.. i had a boyfriend before that's Beatin me. i guess i jsut attract all the wrong guys. and all the guys that i do like that arnt huge fuck ups like me. they dont like me... wow i need to get sum things in life straightend out.. really badley... -Fuck this+