hi: this weekend was uhh different. like it was all good until we went to my grandparents house in ithaca yesterday. i had fun there i guess, but i just had a lot of time to think about stuff that i needed to think about. so that wasn't too hot. but i did have semi fun today when we went to this cornmaze thing cuz idk it just was. but there was this little girl who was like "woah. this is REAL corn" and her friend was like "this IS a corn maze" and i was like about to cry for her, and then my sis was like "lets split up, it'll be more fun" so she accidentaly got lost then she found us and was like "i was so scared!" lol. yea the intelligence level was at an all time low. so that was probly the most fun i had. on the way home i got real sad cuz i was sick of being in the car for so long, and i was listening to depressing music and i was thinking about stuff. like i was kinda thinking "whats wrong w/ me" cuz all my friends are getting hooked up w/ the guys that they like and im not, and it makes me feel, insufficent almost, like i'm not good enough. thats never good. idk what brought it on, but its making me so sad. i really need someone to talk to about this that will actually care and help me through it. i think i miss talking to pat. for some reason he always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better. so that was my yesterday and today, being w/ my family for so long that i started thinking about the sucky stuff in my life. this is really long, sorry about that. i guess i don't even know what i meant by all this but for some reason it just needed to be said. i could use a hug right about now. random story: i just called james but hes at work so i talked to mike and he was like "i'm looking at ur mom right now" and he was like waving to her and stuff. don't worry its not creepy at alllll.. i love and miss u all, briana