Hey Hey Hey . . . sooooo I just figured that it was time for an update. This might get very long just to let you know. so what has been happening in my soap opera styled life lately. . hmm.! Well the rumors that prick ass Travis started are still coming on strong, for all these bitches in Arlington who believe them you suck. . I'm not what he says I am. But on the otherhand things with Josh are looking up for the most part, except a minor detail which I'm not sure I want to believe yet. But we will figure that out in due time. I get to see him every saturday! It is awesome. . I truely do like him alot, I think even more than another person I once adored. But me and my Becca are getting closer, I'm really glad to have her as a friend, and I"m glad I can be there for her through Chris' whole drama situation. We ride in the car together and listen to rehab and smoke some joints and bowls, and go to mcdonalds oohhhh it's great! But anywhoo! the other bad bad news is that matt and I aren't as good as friends as before, I wish we were cause I miss my kooshy. .but we wil see what happens. he once told me that if we ever grew apart it was meant to be. Que sara sara. .or however you spell it. It means whatever will be will be. . . 'Que sera, sera, 'Whatever will be, will be; 'The future's not ours to see. 'Que sera, sera, 'What will be, will be.' that is a song I heard from the movie "Heathers." great great song. . . but anyway class is almost over and it takes a loooooong time to save this shit so I"m gonna jump off of here and do some work. peace and crabs. . xX Felicia Xx

PARENTAL ADVISORY BECKLES CONTAINSEXPLICIT LYRICSUsername: From Go-Quiz.com

UCAUTIONIN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP DARKCHAROBXX AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.Username: From Go-Quiz.com

[You] Felicia Danielle Palmer [Jewelry Worn Daily]:My opal ring, and my chokers [Pillow]: my purple silk one that matches my bedspread [Shoes]: hmmmm...whatever is comfy [Favorite top]: my lingerie looking top [Favorite bottoms]: my illig pants [Cologne/Perfume]: lilu, and curve [CD in stereo right now]: green day [Piercings:] my ears [Hair]:purplish red [Wishing]: that things work out with Josh and we still hang out [After this]: going to 6th period [Talking to]: Jeremy [Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: ummm...graduating [Some of your favorite movies]: house of 1,000 corpses, pornography :: oooh articulate::, ummmm yeah anything with killing and sex in it!!! [Do you believe in love]: for the most part [Do you believe in love at first sight]: no but I can walk by again [Do you believe in forgiveness]: Yes [If you could have any animal for a pet]: MONKEY [What are 3 cities you would like to be relocated to?]:new york city, chicago, or california [What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: CHINEESE, AND ICE CREAM [What's something you wish you could understand better?]: The system [In the last 24 hours, have you] 01. Cried: ummm maybe like two tears 02. Bought something: food and a mt. dew 03. Gotten sick: NO 04. Sang: YEA 05. Eaten: yes 06. Been kissed: NO 07. Felt stupid: NO 08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: no 09. Met someone new: NO 10. Moved on: yes 11. Fought with your parents: NO 12. Had a serious talk: yes 13. Missed someone: OH YES 14. Hugged someone: YES 15. Laughed: YES [Personal] 01. Who is your role model: Angelina Jolie 02. What are some of your pet peeves:Slow drivers and when people start to say something and then stop and dont' tell you....grrrr 03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: Yes I think I'm in that situation now 04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: YES 05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Umm...no whoever I like I like.... 06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): NO 07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: Of course I'm only human people 08. Rather be dumper or dumped: dumped 09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": rather a relationship 10. Are you happy with you: defin happy 11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: SARAH IS AMAZING!!!!AND BECCA AND CHRISSY ARE GORGEOUSLY BEAUTIFUL... 12. Do you want to get married: someday 13. Do you want kids: not really 14. Do you believe in psychics: Yeah 15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: you never know 16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: my eyes 17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: my being open to things 18. Are you happy with your life: YES 19. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: That I wouldn't just accept peoples bullshit that they give me, and stick up for myself more often, and not fall to easily for people.

I really have no emotions at this time. . . .I'm blank about alot of stuff nowadays!!! How sad and messed up is that. I have no idea what's down and up in my life anymore! Actually no need to write anything i have a sexy mama sitting next to me. . . chao~!!!

I used to get fuzzy inside when I saw you were active, when the number would show up on the ID I would pause and think of how to answer the phone...I used to want to be the girl you pointed at and said that's her. Funny how things can change cause now it's completely different...hmmmm ..... damn!

So my break was awesome!!!! The first week was a little slow and dragged on for what seemed forever. . .. . . but the second week was awesome. Hung out with Thomas, Sarah, and Josh the whole last week. Oh Oh and of course my beautiful girls Becca and Chrissy and there boyfriends and Shane. MMMm it feels good to be liked again. New Years eve I got drunk off my ass, and then had 5 cops come in and ask of us if we were drunk. Luckily sarah is pregnant and we had an allabye( or however you spell it)! Andre called me and told me his show went good I'm glad. We really don't talk much anymore. . .;( I'm starting to think that we are not together anymore....? ? ? Who knows anymore. . .! I have made it a point to not let the little shit that goes wrong in my life get me down. . . Yeah I really like Andre but if it's not meant to be it's simply not meant to be. Got to accept that and move on. Andre if i'm wrong in thinking we are split up let me know.. . . PLease! Well all I'm gonna end this now and check on some other diaries. Later loves. . . xX Felicia Xx

I was naive, your love was like candy artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed I was prey in your bed and devoured completely And it hurts my soul cause I can't let go All these walls are caving in, I can't stop my sufferin' I hate to show that I lost control Cause I, I keep going right back To the one thing that I need To walk away from I need to get away from you, need to walk away from you get away, walk away, walk away. . . I should have known that I was used for amusement Couldn't see through the smoke, It was all an illusion Now I've been licking my wounds but the venom seeps deeper We both can seduce, but darlin' you hold me prisoner Oh, I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache I'm addicted to your allure, and I'm fiendin' for a cure Every step I take leads to one mistake I keep going right back to the one thing that I need Oh, I can't mend this torn state I'm in Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve The pain of this slow burn And everywhere I turn, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need To walk away from yeahh... Every time I try to grasp for air I am smothered in despair It's never over Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare, I let out a silent prayer. . . Let it be over, oh. . . Inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading no more Now what to do, my heart has been bruised So sad but it's true, each beat reminds me of you Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve The pain of this slow burn And everywhere I turn, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need To walk away from Only thing I need to do Is walk away from you

So Andre is back...:: does the happy dance :: That is some good news that I needed. I have been in a black hole here lately it truely and honestly sucks! But I'm not the one to complain. So what is everyone doing for new years, I think I'm going to a friends house. . JOY!! But the girl is pregnant soooo no drinking for me. Maybe some heavy pot smoking with her brother and family!!!! :: cue the drugs are bad commercial ::! Well Andre welcome back and I have missed having you around. ALOT!! Schools just not the same without you and that's the truth! Later one and all! xX Felicia Xx

Howdy Ho!! Well the only half way good news I have to tell is that it is almost x-mas!!! But sooo far my break has sucked! I hung out with people twice. I wish i could hang out with people more. Becca I called you today to hang out cause I have to give you your x-mas present. .if you check this hit me back. . Well too blah to write anything right now. I'm slipping you guys. xX Felicia Xx

No I'm not high on cocaine!!! I have never touched the stuff!!! Well touched but not ingested it!*! POWDER Lying soaked in sweat tonight Your knuckles white You try to fight The need for more to get you by You've had enough you wonder why Even now your body cries For chemicals to blind your eyes Wondering can you stay this high When the cells begin to die forever, forever, forever Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down Swallowed like the medicine That's broken down my happy friend Wondering if he'll let me in If I come to see him when He's better He's better He's better Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down There's power in the powder disolving in your guts There's power in the powder disolving in your guts Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down Crush it up, Crush it up Take it down, Take it down Smash it up, Smash it up Falling down Falling, I'm falling, I'm falling down

Here's the story, yesterday my grandpa started shaking and I tryed to get him into the car to go to the hospital and he couldn't walk,abd I couldn't hold him up and he fell I felt so bad because I couldn't hold him up!! So I got him up and had to tell him who I was and told him to dance with me so I could get him in the car!! Sooo after all of that last night, I come to school today and Travis starts his shit about your being negative towards me why are you being such a bitch yada yada yada so I cry he walks away, and then trys to say hi to me like nothing happened. He is such a close minded person!!! Can't stand him. God I need to see Andre, I miss him so much. . . . . . I just need him to hold me and hear his voice of reassurance!!! god that sounds soooo cheesy but people you have no idea how my day is going. And then to make things worse everybody is telling me who I should date, I'M HAPPY WITH ANDRE I DON'T WANT TRAVIS!!!!!Leave it alone people. Soooo way to much stress people wayyyy wayyyyy wayyyyy to much!! Well I have complained enough!! Becca you are my one true hero I love you to pieces and more than all the nutrageous' and munchos' in the world. I love you sweetie!!! xo Felicia xo

So my weekend blew. . .nothing happened to me at all! Got to see Andre for like a half an hour! I never get to see him anymore, and now he's fucking suspended! Is there something wrong with me that I can't get a decent boyfriend!!! Nothin against Andre he's a good guy, I don't know he told me he was like this in a relationship but I guess I didn't want to believe it! I really really like him, I'm just confused about a lot of things right now! But my Monday has been GRRRRREAT! All this week Mon-Thur I'm in the theater. . .:: god I love theater week:: but then friday, saturday, and sunday is my show!! Exciting to finally get it done! matt, and travis are coming and one of my teachers...well I have to read to the kindergardners now....toota lou!!!bye xo Felicia xo

Hmmm....well to start things off today after school Chrissy and I are going to jump Johnathon! Fun Fun times. . ..! But wait But wait the news keeps on getting better. . . Andre might be expelled, at first it turned out he was just suspended for 5 days, he had the papers and everything, but people have to be cock smokers about it and expell him!!! Leave the boy alone my God he isn't hurting anybody who doesn't want to be his followers? ? But nothing is for sure yet. .:: so fellow diariers please please please keep your fingers crossed that he gets to stay in school!!! If not just for me for him also. .I know how much you all just love Andre and want to see him succeed! But bitches like to try to fuck people over. . . Also another little tid bit of information on the story the freshmen that got in trouble with him didn't get any sort of penalty no suspensions no expulsions, just a slap on the wrist is all!!!! He had told me something bad was going to happen but I didn't listen to him just told him that he was wrong and that things were going to turn around! God how I feel like an ass! Sorry Andre for telling you things were going to be fine and not to worry! Well now I'm pisssed, bothered, upset, depressed, malicious, in a killing mood, and perturbed I'm going to go and work on my books! Talk to everyone later. .. xo Felicia xo Andre I will hurt those bitches for you if you want me to!! DEATH to the freshmen fucks!

Have you? [x]been drunk. [x]smoked pot [x]kissed a member of the opposite sex. [x]rode in a taxi. [x]been dumped. [x]shoplifted. [ ]been fired. [x]had a job. []been in a fist fight. [x]snuck out of your parent's house. [x]almost been arrested. [x]stole something from your job. [ ]celebrated new years in times square. [x ]went on a blind date. [x]smoked a cigarette. [x ]gone on an airplane by yourself. [x ]broken a bone. [ ]had sex in a car. [x]white lied to a friend. [x]went swimming in your bathtub. [x]had a crush on a teacher. [ ]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans. [x]been to europe. [x ]made out in a movie theater. [ ]taken caffiene pills. [x]been to disney land. []had a crush on someone you hardly knew. [x]been to california. [x]been skinny dipping. []regretted something. [ ]peed on someones lawn. [x]skipped school. [ ]thrown up from drinking. [ ]lost your sibling. [ ]been butt nekked bangin on the bathroom floor. [x]kissed a member of the same sex. [x ]had sex with a boy. [x ]had sex with a girl. []been in a car accident [x ]partied for days and days straight [xxxx ]had a family member die. [x]played 'clue'. [x]had a sleepover party [x]went ice skating. [x ]dropped x. [x ]been cheated on. [x]had a boyfriend/girlfriend. [ ]had a threesome [x]had a sweet sixteen. [x ]had a car. [x ]drove. [ ]had sex on a roof, with your friends unknowingly watching? do you? [x ]have a bf. [ ]have a gf. [x]have a crush. [x]have a dog [x]have your own room. [x ]listen to rap. [x]paint your nails. [x]play a sport. []play more than one sport. [ ]watch sports on tv. []have a fav. group/singer/artist. [x]have more than 1 best friend. []get good grades. []play an instrument [x]have slippers. [x ]wear boxers. [x]wear black eyeliner [x]like the color blue. [ ]like the color yellow. [x]like to read. [x]like to write. [x]have long hair. [ ]have short hair. [x]have a cell phone. [ ]have a laptop. [ ]have a pager. are you? [ x]ugly. [ ]pretty. [x ]ok. [x]bored. [x]happy. [x]bilingual. [x]white. [ ]Black [ ]Mexican [ ]short. [x ]medium. []tall. [ ]grounded. [ ]sick. [x ]lazy. [x ]talking to someone []IMing someone [x]scared to die [x]sleepy. [ ]annoyed. [ ]on the phone. [ ] in your room. [ ] drinking something [ ]eating something. [ ]in your pjs. [x]ticklish. [ ] listening to music [ ]homophobic.

So everybody I need to invent a day for the simple fact that I need to have to hang out with Becca this weekend. I'm going through some sort of withdrawls I think!!! But....Plus Plus Plus I have to stay her hero and the only way that I can do that is if I invent this day in between Sunday and Monday... :: Tear Tear :: Becca what if I can't do this for you. .then what do I do!!!Oh No. .. . I'm lost and I can't figure out what to do, I will try to work my magic just for you my dear sweet Becca and Chrissy!!!! Much Love and Confusion on how to do, xo Felicia xo

Oh yesh I'm wicked!!!!! So it seems like the gang of nasty poser bitches have decided to all join channel one at the same time! Man they fuck with my boyfriend and then they decide to join forces and make us all be forced to look at their hideous attempts at trying to be cool. GO AWAY. . . .DEATH TO ALL POSER BITCHES AT ARLINGTON HIGH SCHOOL! Hmmmm....Jessica, Matt, Andre, and Becca you all have to help me rid this school of posers. .. cause they are draggin us down and giving us a bad name. Okay like two of them just walked in holding hands. .when I first came here my sophmore year i had asked Kaylie what her sexual orientation was and she said straight, when she found out that I was bi-sexual she all the sudden decided to say that she was to just afraid to tell anybody. . since then all these " alternative " girls are turning bi or lesbian what the hell be true to yourselves. ..get lives and stop trying to be like everyone else to fucking fit in. OOOOKKKK I'm done, I feel better. . :: I realize I'm horrible at talking shit but hey I gave it my best shot :: xo Felicia xo

Haha lunch was great!*!*! Travis told the freshmen to go back to their table and leave us the fuck alone. It made me life. . .two stars go to Travis! Hmmm...got some bad news today about the boyfriend, I really hope that it doesn't happen to him, cause I see him the most here. .. soooooo. . . .But yeah! Work yesterday let me tell you it is not fun to be hit on by a guy that is like 40somethin years old. Ron you are a dirty old man and I hate you! buuuuttt anywhoo, Becca my dear I do love you! It sucks that we can't hang out this weeekend, but hopefully soon cause I miss making up insider jokes with you and chrissy! At least I finally found the pedal. . .I seriously think it's the weed talking! Haha. .. man man good times! This Amanda chick needs to leave her notes unanonymous so I can be nosey and look at her journal like she is looking at mine. peace. . xo Felicia xo

Hmmm. . .this song is pretty!!! I found it in sombodies diary and had to put it on here. .. couldn't find the lyrics anywhere else? Wonder why? ? Enjoy! atreyu- love is illnes!!! my soul.. it screams for you can you not here it? my arms reach out for you why cant you take them? my heart burns only for you can you extinguish it? i love only to be loved by you why cant you love me too? i long only to be held and care for why cant it be? am i to die alone and bitter? what the hell is wrong with me? my face is blackened and my eyes are sewn shut with fear and sorrow i no longer wish to love anything just cut the heart right out of me sometimes i choke on all the false love that infects.. me sometimes everything is not enough to cure the sickness.. inside of me i did it all.. cried black tears for you why cant you see? like a vampire biting my heart suck the love right out of me dont even care as my blood stains the floor cannot be cleaned you cut me out and tore me through six feet unders the place for me i feel it all as it sickens me it feels like im dying inside because of the love i gave that cant be returned my longing for instability is a personality flaw i trust you with respect and you tear me down love is illness Andre~ I yearn for you, come save me from my hell! I'll save you from yours!

Soo to Amanda I say this, I don't know Andre's number right now, the one I did have got disconnected! Does he have your number? I'll tell him to call you! Why did you make your comment anonymous? Hm Oh Well! Becca diaries works from school now!*!*! Yippee Skippee! Well not alot happened over break it was actually pretty fucking miserable, I didnt' get to see anybody interesting, hung out with dancer friends who called me a slut cause I have a t-shirt that says groupie :: psh :: whateva! Saturday night went to Emmas played pool and got hit on by a girl!!!! Nice. . . .wrong! She was oogly!!! Well that is all for now. Amanda if you comment don't anonymousize it just leave your diary name cause I'm nosey. Talk to you later. . . j xo FElicia xo