teh past few days have been great . made a gravity today . so pround of my self. billy comes back 2marrow. had a dream about getting a job. hopefully soon ill fucking get one. 10 mor e days till school. joy

so roxie an d cc r home. and todays my last day in rehab. can we say party non stop till we drop. at teh moment yes. but in a few hours i dont think we will be able to say much of ne thing right . so billy left for chicago today for a week. ill miss him . i had a horrible dream he was gonna break up with me. so now i think he is. we'lll see

i hate feeling like im being ignored. espeshully by ppl who should be ignoring me . lil fuck tard . 2 can play at this game. ne way yesterday was good. went to the park lit a shirt on fire and left it on this picnic table. i figured it would go out as soon as it was done burning. turns out it melted threw the tabel .(its made of thick plastic) so im swining on teh swings and i look over and a fire truck comes barreling threw to put it out . i walke dover to see what had happened. and teh police showed up and i jus played innocent. im more trouble then i kno i guess. i was proud of my work tho. later tht nite took some acid met up with a friend made some home made expolsives . and threw em aroun d teh neighbor hood. then stuc some kid in teh face for talkin shit . bla bla bla good day .

not grounded ne more new lies have been thot up for mother i broke up with wesley got a new man hes driving me crazy still no job oh oh oh but there is fantastic news i only have one week left of my probation !!! yay me omg do u kno what this means? of corse u do . but oooo i can not wait . no more starting place. no more drug tests. no more group meetings. i will miss all my new friends in there tho .

so life has its ups and downs. summer is here. but i am grounded. bla bla bla

ive been held in a hospital for a few days. i guess i was really sick . im still a lil tired ands worn from every thing. i remeber going in and i couldnt breath move or talk . im glad to be better . but returning to every day normal life aint always so great . its teh same way as it was when i left . skool still isnt out the ppl are still unbearable and nothing has changed except for me . i can still feel the infection in me. i get my tonsils out over summer so tht next time i get an infection they dont swell up and attempt to suffocate me. peace

idk why i havent been here. i guess i just forgot for a while. ok so i dont remeber where i left off. but i got caught for every thing imaginable. but i dont care ne more wat my mom thinks an di was allowed to smoke pot for a while but then just recently (last friday) i got arrested for possesion of pot . so now im suspended from skool have to go on a 4month program and see 2 conselors. talk about gay . but all is cool i can just be and alcoholic till those 4 months is up. and coke is still do able. ummm lets see love life. its at a stand still. as much as i love sex i need to chill out . stealing ppls boyfriends is fun but it can get u into trouble. lol its not my fault they like me better right ?? lol right well so im lookin for boy frind now. not a fuck buddy . we'll see how that gose. uhh and skool . im smart as fuck . we all kno that . so as bad as life is. i kno itll get better if it dont . fuckin who cares ill just take all the drugs i need till it seems better lol. i think thats teh best way to go . if ur life sucks live in a different world where ur happy ... until u run outta money that is. i need a job . thats my next goal

so things are alright. skool gets out in like 15 school days . im so excited. teh whole arrest thing eh its passing. 10 more weeks left of probation . gay . soooooooo me and adam starting dating on monday . yea it was odd. i thot he didnt like me liek at all. but turns out he actually liked me alot. and w/e so tht made me happy. and i was all ahappy about this new relationship but later that day he gose and gets him self arrested. so i was bummed. but then he was bailed out . cool rite . no b/c the piggies come and arrest him again b/c they foundother stuff to charge him with . =((( and turns out hes gonnna be in there for a longg time. liek months . so he talked to jesse his best buddy who told me he didnt want me to wait for him to get out of jail and to go on a head with life. so herre i am . not really getting ne where. im pissed and sad . i wish it was different

today is 420 wat a great day it was. skipped skool smoked allllllll day . yesterday was liek being surrounded by a cloud of smoke all day , not knowing wtf is going on. lol i cnat wait till next yr

its only been a week since my arrest and my mom is letting me outta the house , i got my fone back , and i havent stopped ne thing. its almost liek it never happened. i havent been to the rehab place yet and its been a while now. maybe they will just for get . well ne ways since io havent been to starting place yet ive decided to continue my habits. i leave for jersey 2marrow. for a week. yay itll be fun fun with drugs. love life. still no movement yet . its gay . but now tht im ungrounded it shuld take off soon. skool- its spring break baby and im ready to rock and roll

soooooooooo things have turned out ok. y do i make mountians outta mole hills. idk so my parents kno i smoke pot every day and they kno i smoke cigarettes. tehy dont say en thing ne more and roxies parents said its ok for her to smoke pot now too and cc has always been allowed so last night it was all three of us man i was soooo high im surprised i woke up this moring. and that whole thing with bj . well we aint togather but it dont really bother me much ne more. im actually gonna go smoke with him at 1 today . andddddddd chea and skool its all good. lol its fuckin freezing down here. i thot i lived in floridia. wow i cant even spell where i live. thats handy . well yea its liek fucking 40 degrees down here. it should be 90. but i guess i rather it be cold then hot . stay classy world

they should make a movie of my life. every one could sit around and watch me fuck up. the show would attrack millions. every one likes to see people fuck up cuz it aint happing to them . right? well yea. so like this boy bj. hes pretty rad liekd him alot 4 days into dateing he broke up with me cuz i said i love you . now i ment it as a friendly one not serious. but he wants to just be friends. ugh w/e death up set tired of fucking up . wanting to get fucked up . wanting somethin good to happen . waitign for it. it has to happen some time