well right now.. I am in the art room at school just relaxing and making some art when I feel like it. so I'm here for the next two hours. I stay here for the last 2 periods of the day. its very relaxing..I have our MP3 player.. and all I am listening to is "the first day of my life" its our song. I had it playing all night last night. The mp3 player has about 1230 songs on it, yet there is only one that I want to hear. all I am thinking about is my one and only. she is the only thing that is ever on my mind... ever. I miss her soo fucking much. I wonder is she is thinking about me... I know she probably is. we think about each other all the time. when we are apart, all I think about is her. she is absolutly everything to me. everything. we need each other. I leave about ten minutes early everyday and sit outside of the classroom she is in and I wait for her.

today has been absolutly nothing to me. Erin called me this morning and said that she had a headache and wasnt going to be coming in to school today. She said they were going to see if they could go to a chiropractor to help her get her neck back in.. and I really hope that helps if she goes at all. I miss her terribly. She is the only thing that makes me want to come to school.... the only thing. so now I am here without her and I am just waiting untill I get home. I hope I can visit her or somthing becasue I miss her soo much and I need to see her. i miss her so much. without her, i am nothing. she is my air.

If this dosnt change im going to get sick. I know it. I dont deiserve this. why is it always me.

Today was wonderful... like the most perfect day in a long time. well I woke up.. had something to eat.. then talked to Erin.. who wanted to come over badly.. so I asked if she could.. and she was allowed.. and she came asap. we relaxed in the basement pretty much the entire time..then we went up and we looked thru all of our VHS's.. and then we found my fam's home movies.. so we picked out a couple.. and went down to watch them. That was fun... and watching my home movies with her made me feel even closer to her then we already are (which is more then you can imagine. so dont try to.) so after those movies.. we watched some actual movies I made when I was younger...which was semi emarrissing... but everyone that see's them think they are great.. but I just dont see that about them heh.. its alright tho. so anyway.. we relaxed for the rest of the night.. then we had to take her home.. whihc is the saddest part of my day.. but hopefully we will be together tomarro cuz i have to travel to see a college and she wants to come and I want her to come.. so hopefully we can do that... if not.... I will probably see her anyway *smile* so now I am here waiting for my baby to come on....I miss her already.

today was pretty good... woke up and did a few things around the house... mainly my room.. then Erin came and took me home with her.. we sat for a little bit and then went down stairs to paint.. which we did pretty much the entire time unfourtunantly. It looks alot nicer now.. but I just wish we had more time to just be together.. and not painting the entire time... but no matter what I am doing, if she is with me..everything is wonderful. Then after painting.. we went in the pool for a matter of 5 min.. then got out and sat with her parents the rest of the night watching ghosthunters... again.. I wish that just her and I could relax together... I just really wanted to spend time with her, and only her...and tomarro I am going back over and I really really hope that we can get some time that it is just us... so untill then.. I will be wishing it was tomarro and we are together...

WARPED TOUR KICKED ASS!!! BIG D and the kids table and Mae both fucking rocked!!! I'm not going to write everything, just look at my baby's page, Erin, she already wrote everything, and we never let go of eachother's hands, so everything she wrote about, we did together *smile* so now im still crashing from warp and work... then Im going to go visit her at work like I ALWAYS do... I LOVE YOU ERIN!!

well today was nothing special at all, I was feeling rather depressed and not enthusiastic about anything. did nothing in the morning , then I had to go to town with my mother. wonderful. we went around and did what she needed too, then right before we were leaving to come home I got a call from my girlfriend, Erin. She said that she died her hair ( which i figured she was going to today) and that she happy how it looks.. I didnt really want to talk about that subject now cuz I already told her how I felt about it, and now that she did it, Im kinda scared,and this was what I was scared aboutwhen we were talking about doing it, cuz I know I will miss her old hair, cuz I loved that, and I know I will still love her nomatter what her hair looks like, but I am just scared cuz I'm afraid that she will now have a whole different personality and a new confidence level, and somehow..... I will lose her because of it. Im am happy she is happy, truely, I'm just scared that she will change... I just know I will miss her old look... I hope she dosnt change...

well yesturday started out horrible... I woke up at 6 at the hotel... and had to get up and eat breackfast around 7.... then I finally got to leave to come home around 9, but my uncle and aunt ( who were giving me the ride) wanted to stop somwhere... so we didnt actually get going to come home untill about 1. I got home around 2:30-3 and got myself together so I wouldnt miss my girlfriends grandparents 50th anniversery party.. she really wanted me to come and so did I, So I showed up and even tho she didnt really express it a ton.. I could tell she was soo happy that I made it.. so we halep at the part and we helped close things down.. then I went back to her house and got dressed and ready to go to the fair, so we left and got to the fair and just walked around and had a good time yelling at stupid carneys and seeing people we hate, which was pretty much everyone cuz we both hate people... so we walked around untill about 9-9;30 then it was time to go back home, so we had a nice relaxing ride back to her house and then when we got there, me and her went out on the back porch and just talked, because we both love when we sit down and just talk about us and everything... it was wonderful.. but then I had to go home around 10:30 or so, and we said our goodnights and we both didnt want to leave eachother... we never do... but I went home and went right to bed. today has been soo dull... I was supposed to work, but then it got cancelled, and my loveing baby, who cares for me soo much, called me at 5:57 in the morning to make sure I was up in time for work... but I told her that I didnt have to today... but I LOVE how she remembered and called... shes soo amazing and I am nothing without her... so we both went back to sleep.. and then she called againwhen she woke up right when I woke up too, and we talked a little bit then she had to go to work... and it was rainging really really hard.. so only a couple people came... and I was going to go visit her, but it was rainging too hard.. so Im hhoping in a little bit that I will go and visit her... because I know she wants to see me badly... and I want to see her too... I miss her tons~ so tomarro I think we are going to go back to the fair again.. I cant wait to see her~ I LOVE YOU ERIN SOOO FUCKING MUCH!!!

Mae- The Sun And The Moon Wasted time. I can not say that I was ready for this. But when worlds collide, and all that I have is all that I want. The words seem to flow and the thoughts they keep running. and all that i have is yours. all that i am is yours. painted skys. I've seen so many that cannot compare, to your ocean eyes. The pictures you took that cover your room, and it was just like the sun but more like the moon. a light that can reach it all. so now im branded for taking the fall. so when you say forever, can't you see? you've already captured me. -i love you erin- forever.

well I just got home from another long day work... out in the fucking hot sun all day...I wanst supposed to work at all today.. but hey.. I'm going somewhere saturday so I cant work then... so my dads like.. your working tomarro. dont question it. wow , I love it when they (parents) can force you to work when they have no idea how painful what I do is. well, if your wondering what I do... I work for a landscaping company, and I'm usually the one doing most of the physical stuff... so today.. we had to go weedwack a dam.. I hate weedwacking damns... this dam was particularly huge and with a dam.. there IS no shade... so you cant escape from the sun. I felt like I was going to pass out and die... which I felt last time I did a dam. It was just soo hot with that sun beating on you.. a hot engin by your side... and you cant wear shorts cuz when you weedwack teh tall grass.. the grass shoots at you... fast... and hurts. I looked at my arm today, and saw it was bleeding alot cuz I got like impailed with a blade of grass... what fun... oh.. and the brambles... when you weedwack them.. the like thorns shoot back at you and your face... hurts like hell.. so i got some cuts on my legs cuz it went thru my light pants I had on... I am soo fucking happy to be back home... and luckly I wont have to work for a few days since my boss gave me off... w00t.... hope I do something fun... really. well I have to go.. cuz the room is starting to spin.. and I'm not kidding eather.. I got to go take a nap or something..... untill next time.

well today had its good and bad points. I woke up and did a few things around the house .. nothing fun... then Erin came and we went back to her house, where we hung aroudn for a while. Then we went for a walk, for like 1 hour and 45 min, and when we got back.. her mom was super pissed cuz she was looking for us... bleh.. so I had to come home early and her mom and mine sat and talked about things... nothing compleatly bad... but not fun talk. so now I'm here missing her tons... I hope I get to see her soon.. cuz I need her.

today I woke up and went to work... work sucked as usuall... plus it sucked even more cuz Erin tried to call me but I didnt have enough service so we couldnt talk... bleh... so now I'm finally home tired as hell and I'm waiting for her to get home from work... cuz I really want to go over and jump in the pool...badly... so hopefully I'll be able to see her tonight and if not tomarro for sure. I LOVE YOU ERIN!!! I hope we get to see eachother soon!! love you tons~

well.. today was so incredibly horrible and soo incredibly depressing.... I'm not even going to bother putting everything that happened. Today has been, by far, one of the worst days I can remember. Thank you Erin... for keeping me from doing anything to myself. You keep me sane. You are my everything. I love you baby.

I LOVE ERIN TURNER MORE THEN YOU CAN LOVE ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. SHE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER BABY. ALWAYS AND FOREVER. MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY. ERIN CORA TURNER: I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART. YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME AND A PART OF ME. I HOPE I NEVER LOSE YOU, BECAUSE I WOULD DIE WITHOUT YOU

well I just got in from work (painting) and im dead.. got my paycheck today tho and was really happy with what I saw~... anyway.. yesturday I went over to my baby's house... we hung around and did much of nothing.. then we got in trouble and I had to go home early.. I'm happy how her mom is reacting tho.. it makes me really happy... but yeah.. I may go over again today for the rest of the day. Cant wait to see her again. umm.. hmm... other then that.. nothing really too interesting happened lately... what a sad ending to my entry. Stay tuned for next episode tho... it will be action packed. untill next time.

well yesturday was quite busy.. I woke up when Erin called me and we talked a bit about my insane dreams.. then we both decided that we need showers so we got off the phone and went and took those. She came around 10:30 to pick me up and we went to scranton, but first we stopped at this garage sale where she got this nice chair for $2...so yeah.. we got to scranton and went to Lowes to get the stuff for the couch shes making. then when we got home we painted most of the wood and let it all dry. After that, we went swimming a bit, which was nice because the water was actually really comfortable.. but we got out anyway. we went inside and she put on The Little Mermaid. wonderful haha (that movie is soo unrealistic) then after that we just hung around and then they took me home. I miss her tons already and I hope I get to be with her tomarro... untill then.. Ive gotta go back to work and finish painting~ whooot.

well today I woke up and had to go to town for a haircut...after my haircut I went around and got some things, then came home. Since I've gotten home I have been doing nothing really at all.. listening to music.. and just relaxing.. or trying to rather. I havent herd from Erin all day... nothing... I hope shes okay.. I wanted to go visit her at work.. but I couldnt get the car... so I couldnt go... I'm upset cuz I want to talk to her.. Hopefully she will be on soon... I'll be waiting untill then~ I love you baby~

Today was about the same greatness as yesturday. The only good thing that happend was that Erin came back tonight. Too bad I wont see her for a couple days yet. I hope we can see eachother again sooner tho. I miss her too much and its only been 2 days. I'm happy her mom actually said somthing about me coming with them when they go. I hope I can. I really do. well...I'm done for now. I might write more later because there is still alot more I want to say.

well today was a horrible day really. woke up... had a little to eat.. then I had to leave to go to work. I have to repaint the building(big house)... in the hot sun... with a brush and roller... not fun. I did that for around 4 hours. My hands and shirt were blue. so was my mind. After work I came home and had to clean up the garage because I have been working on my car alot and it was a mess. again.. not fun. and now im here.. tired as hell.. with nothing to do at all. Erin is away with her mom and a friend up north at a campsite, definentally having a better time then me. I wish I could go with her when she goes up there. I really, really do. I worry about her.. I hope her parents trust me enough soon to let me come when they go. I hope. so tonight I am probably just going to lay around and stare at the wall. Cuz I'm dead tired. I have to call Erin later. I miss her tons and its only been one day. I LOVE YOU ERIN!! well.. untill next episode. night. Update I just called her. She didnt pick up her phone. Now all I can think about is where she is and what she is doing. Im not going to sleep well at all.

today was really dull... I woke up to my baby calling me... I love waking up to her....then I went over to pick her up to come back home with me.... we got to my house and just layed around and did absolutly nothing... really.. nothing... she had a couple allergy attacks which made me feel even worse about the day...I just wish that it wasnt so dull and mellow... I wanted today to be much better... but I know next time things will be better... I'll make sure of it. Im sorry baby for today being soo damn mellow... I know it was nice and relaxing, which was a good part.. I just wish that I could of came home with you and fallen asleep with you.. I cant wait untill that first night comes... I LOVE YOU ERIN!! FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!