i've never been good at keeping diaries. they're too much maintenance. i refuse to do anything which adds repitition to my schedule. i live in organized chaos. i lie when i'm bored. i'm too nice for my own good. ugh. i think i'm depressed...like, clinically. not a day goes by where i don't think about offing myself in some pathetic way. suicide is pointless. it really is. yeah...so you committed suicide...how is that going to solve your problems? it's not. you'll just be dead. don't get me wrong...i've got plenty of friends, pretend friends, sort-of friends, best friends, and enemies but i wonder why people don't like me why they INSIST on being rude when i have done NOTHING to them. the worst i did was smile when i saw them. opinion is one thing...if said respectfully, i will honor it. but if someone comes along pointing their rude ass in my business, nit-picking at my life when they most likely have their own pointless problems, i will get angry. don't get me wrong. i'm not picking on this person. but on one of my previous posts i put the question "why am i so boring" and someone responded with... "because you wanna be a somebody that's why" so what did i say? i said "fair enough" remember that i'm not picking on this person or trying to insult them in anyway... but first of all... you don't know me how can you judge who i am by some silly poems? sure...my entries express my feelings at the time... but as i said...i'm not a diary person so unless i wrote down every-fucking-thing onto my sitdiary...you have no clue as to who i am. and even if i had you STILL wouldn't know me. second of all... i do not see it relevant to storm onto my site and read my entry just to criticize me... sure if you had said it in a different way..i would have respected it more of course i respect it as it is now, don't get me wrong i appreciate your blunt honesty. but there are things called common courtesy as well. i'm not assuming that you are one of these people...but one thing that peeves me is when people think that the internet gives them power. you see on youtube thousands of nasty comments each day why are these nasty comments there? do you know the person do did this video? has the world lost a sense of class and respect? things are posted such as "fatty" "ur ugly" "i hate you" "go die" can you find the relevence? if someone made a video about awareness for aids, i bet you would see someone who posted the comment "the announcer is UGLY" it's a goddamn awareness for aids video! why don't you think about how many people have aids compared to focusing on your vanity and minimizing the confidence of others! i don't get it. i really don't. this is a rant. i was in a ranting mood. if you took the time to read this, don't bitch to me about how you want your 5 minutes back because you're not getting it back.