i wrote this poem a long time ago and I just thought to put it on here. Moving On by:me! I got you out of my head but you are still in my heart I have to let you go I dont know where to start My head is spinning emotions are flying But I can't help in Not even by crying I want to move on and find someone else But first I have to learn to love myself I dont blame you I blame myself But it is all that I have left You are gone just a memory in my head but why do I think of you while i lay awake in bed I tell myself over and over its okay to feel like this You are gone...just a memeory in my head

ok. new diary add me.

this is stupid, we cant get on xanga anymore at school.

i was all out of line yesterday, i was just mad about everything. i read it again and some of it didnt make sesnse so yea.. anyway i am coming back to sitD and im getting a new one, ill post it later -brandie

im having a very bad day. i got an F on my homework and on my quiz in biology. My grades are going down, im getting no sleep and im gaining weight. on top of all that, my dad is making me mad b/c everytime i try and talk sense into him, he finds a way to make it sound like he is right and im irresposible and how my mom is stupid. its so annoying and i just want to scream at everything.

i dont think in going to update this anymore, ill still answer comments but sit diary died in my world hehe

i am working on my new layout now ill edit later and tell yall about my day

yea i am in interent now. I had to read a chapter that was like 9 pages long in english so my voice is messed up. if we have a free day in here then I will change the layout on here. later

Body: One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives. " He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. You now have two choices, you can: 1) Pass this on to your friends or 2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart. -that was so cute!

im still not feel that well. i didnt got to school today b/c i didnt want to take the chance of throwing up in the middle of class and also my stomach still feels weird so yea... I might be going camping this weekend if I feel better and i might stay home and redo my room idk. well im out

I pretty much feel like crap. I am very bloated and I threw up this morning. And obviously Im not at skool. I had a very weird dream last night. Okay.. It started where I was driving my dads car by myself and I dont remember where I was going but I turned the car off and got out and someone took the car while I was turned. I started freaking out and then went to see my Geometry teacher. (wft??) and then it appeared in the parking lot beside me. So I got back in and saw this interesting book and started reading it instead of watching the road. Luckly I didnt hit anybody but I do remember see the place I was before. I went in a circle. So I told myslef brandie pay attention to the road and not the book. Then i parked it again and this time someone stole my stuff and the outside parts from the car. So again I starting having a cow and I saw these bratty kids throwing around my stuff and I went up to them and just pulled it out of thier hands. Then strangly I ended up in Vermont and I went inside this house and about 9 guys were playing playstation against each other. Well I yelled over the music and told them that I needed help finding the parts that got stolen from the car. So they started to line up in 2 lines. Heres the part I dont understand. Carlos stepped out of the lines and waved and smiled at me. I was the happyest person in the world then (he moved and is now in Vermont, I had the biggest crush on him) but we started walking around looking for the parts. And i remember look for him so I could we could talk. I turned and someone said Makenai! to me. (It means dont give up in Japanese)I didnt get that part of of my dream. But then I saw the stolen parts and we tried to get them but we couldnt. then I woke up. I cant explain why I had that dream...

FINALLY someone fixed my internet!! yes i am very happy. Right now it feels as if i have little weights on my eyelids thats trying to shut them. I am very tired if you didnt already get that. Youthgroup was fun and last sunday, Andrews concert was too awsome. (btw I got a ride to it so I didnt have to deal with my parents griping) and I might move into another bedroom in my house this weekend. idk though.

again i am in internet. we just got done with a quiz and I think i did bad! hopefully not. yea my internet is being gay at home so thats why im not ever on. other than that nothing is going on

so yea today was ok i guess. OH trista ally and I got into this group in english because we had to make a rap out of alot of english terms I then we had to stand in front of the class and rap it. I was so halarious and yea I sounded like an idiot because I cannot rap worth a crap. Im never going to forget it! anyway nothing else really special so im out -dont remember

i just got done deleting all of my entries, im starting all over on this diary. anyway skool wasnt all that fun. I did have to present my current event and I hate it so our course I sounded like an idiot but now that is done with. I forgot the article at home so I will have to go in earlier to turn it in. Im not really excited about this year, they called me to the office first hour to tell me they changed my schedual and now im not with alyssa. it makes me mad.