I have been on sitdiary over two years now and it feels very weird because My birthday is coming next month and i'm turning fourteen.this is just amazing to me i think i'm going to cry jk

You can only move as fast as Who's in front of you And if you assume Just like them What good will it do So find out for yourself So your ignorance Will stop bleeding through You can breathe today So many lies swirling All around you You're suffocating The empty shape in you Steals your breath You're suffocating Logic forces me to believe in this And I have learned to see And I can only say what I've seen and heard And only you can choose And every choice you make will effect you Search your own self You can breathe today So many lies swirling All around you You're suffocating The empty shape in you Steals your breath You're suffocating So many lies swirling All around you You're suffocating The empty shape in you Steals your breath You're suffocating Breathe Big enough to fill the void that's inside of you It's just a breath away So many lies swirling All around you You're suffocating The empty shape in you Steals your breath You're suffocating So many lies swirling All around you You're suffocating The empty shape in you Steals your breath Breathe So many lies swirling All around you You're suffocating Breathe The empty shape in you Breathe today

"Fully Alive" Telling Layla's story spoken 'Bout how all her bones are broken Hammers fall on all the pieces Two months in the cover creases Here she stands today In her brilliant shiny way Fully alive More than most Ready to smile and love life Fully alive More than most Ready to smile and love life All my complaints shrink to nothing I'm ashamed of all my somethings She's glad for one day of comfort Only because she has suffered Here she stands today, In her brilliant shiny way... Fully alive More than most Ready to smile and love life Fully alive Now she knows how to believe in futures Fully alive More than most Ready to smile and love life Fully alive Now she knows how to believe in futures Fully alive More than most Ready to smile and love life Fully alive Now she knows how to believe in futures

"I'm So Sick" I will break into your thoughts With what's written on my heart I will break, break I'm so sick, Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, Selfishness I'm so sick I'm so sick If you want more of this We can push out, sell out, die out So you'll shut up And stay sleeping With my screaming in your itching ears I'm so sick, Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, Selfishness I'm so sick I'm so sick Hear it, I'm screaming it You're heeding to it now Hear it! I'm screaming it! You tremble at this sound You sink into my clothes And this invasion Makes me feel Worthless, hopeless, sick I'm so sick, Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, Selfishness I'm so sick I'm so sick I'm so sick Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, selfishness I'm so I'm so sick I'm so I'm so sick

"I Am On Your Side" I never meant to hurt you Sometimes these thoughts have a way of making sense Secrets that we keep turn into accidents If you burn away the bonds with the fire of selfishness The positive and negative have a way of blending in End this now, we've gone too far Let's take back words that turn to scars If I could find a way to turn back time Had to let you know I'm on your side Took the easy way out I shut myself down The only way to ease the pain is to drink until I drown I'll say it out loud my voice is the only sound So listen up, I'll spell it out I need your help, I need it now End this now, we've gone too far Let's take back words that turn to scars If I could find a way to turn back time Had to let you know I'm on your side Am I now everything that you wanted me to be tried my best took a shot in the dark and I lost End this now, we've gone too far Let's take back words that turn to scars If I could find a way to turn back time Had to let you know (had to let you know) I'm on your side If I could find a way to turn back time Had to let you know (had to let you know) I'm on your side

I hope this song can tell you how I feel tonight You are my first dissection spilling my insides Let's write our names with the blood that's in our cheeks So it won't wash away if I don't come home for weeks And I don't come home... I never said (never said) This would be easy I let her go when she said she was leaving So whisper softly And don't forget To tell me how you feel in five words or less I knew I should have never offered you the world The nights are full of faces you're the only girl Turn my world from disaster Make my heart start beating faster Ask the question, here's the answer I need you now and I can't stand this I never said (never said) This would be easy I let her go when she said she was leaving So whisper softly And don't forget To tell me how you feel in five words or less Just tell me how you feel... I need your voice tonight... Just tell me how you feel... Whoa, whoa... So whisper softly and don't forget To tell me how you feel in five words or less I never said (never said) This would be easy I let her go when she said she was leaving So whisper softly And don't forget To tell me how you feel in five words or less

Well my birthday is almost here and i'm turning thirdteen and honestly this is wasn't i expect to happen. a few days ago my mom ask me if i wanted to have a sweet 15 party (In spanish tradition you are suppose to have a sweet 15 instead of having a sweet 16 in america tradition) I told my mom that i would like to have one i didn't really care at all because i really only to have my closes friends and to have my aunts and uncles and my brother and sister to be there for my fifthteenth brithday including my since he and my brother live in flordai and i live here in Raleigh North Carolina. leave a comment

"This Is Who We Are" Between the future and the past tense Lies the present and the distance So you think we're never coming back Scoring points for passion and persistence Between the lines and the highway Lies the danger and the safety You never thought this was gonna last I always knew you'd never take it back I always knew (I always knew) [Chorus: x2] I know it seems like we're never coming back I know it feels like we're never coming back You tried your best and you knew it wouldn't last They were the words that she placed on her casket Between the sadness and the smile Lies the flicker of the fire You always said this never hurt you I always said you were a liar With the all the towers and the wires There still lies a little silence Two hearts and one connection One voice lacks emotion now I always knew (I always knew) [Chorus x2] Instead of flowers like words that never mattered Close it off forget about the sadness (close it off forget about the sadness) He always said she should have tried crying Blaming him, as she was lying down Not coming back (Not coming back) Not coming back (Not coming back) [Chorus x2]

"Dead In The Water" The medicine is blending in mixing the blood with oxygen I need this right now to figure myself out Cutting through the ribbons of self doubt I never thought you'd see me this way You are the worst and I am to blame Close the door, lock it tight Then I'll know you're safe tonight Turn on a song that means the most Believe I'm there and hold me close She is in my bloodstream, tonight she's draining me The room is filled with reds and blues I follow as she leads into the darkness Drying up my veins, she's a ghost, a silhouette Calling out my name These lies will fall into the pieces I left you Of your favorite picture torn in two I never thought we'd end up this way You are the worst, I am to blame Close the door, lock it tight Then I'll know you're safe tonight Turn on a song that means the most Believe I'm there and hold me close She is in my bloodstream, tonight she's draining me The room is filled with reds and blues I follow as she leads into the darkness Drying up my veins, she's a ghost, a silhouette Calling out my name So close the door and lock it tight Then I will know you're safe tonight Turn on the song that means the most Believe I'm there and hold me close Close the door, lock it tight Then I'll know you're safe tonight Turn on a song that means the most Believe I'm there and hold me close She is in my bloodstream, tonight she's draining me The room is filled with reds and blues I follow as she leads into the darkness Drying up my veins, she's a ghost, a silhouette Calling out my name

"Saying Sorry" These colors will not change You change the way I see them These words will fade when you explain why you hate them we are the same She keeps repeating all that she needed She says she's right here, she seems so distant Saying goodbye this time, the same old story Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry Just a few last hours, we gotta make this count We're counting backwards (Just a few last hours, we gotta make this count) We're falling forwards. She keeps repeating all that she needed She says she's right here, she seems so distant Saying goodbye this time, the same old story Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry Saying goodbye this time, the same old story Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry Saying sorry we're falling apart wish we knew this from the start Saying goodbye's the hardest part Wish we knew this from the start Saying goodbye this time, the same old story Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry Saying goodbye this time, the same old story Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry Saying goodbye this time, this time Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry

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Well since i'm so tired it feels like i still have homework and i'm glad i don't right now because i'm ready to stay home until summer vacation hopefuly it will come early well see ya on the next entry.

My December This is my December This is my time of the year This is my December This is all so clear This is my December This is my snow covered home This is my December This is me alone And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all The things I said To make you Feel like that And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all the Things I said to you And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to This is my December These are my snow covered dreams This is me pretending This is all I need And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all The things I said To make you feel like that And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all the things I said to you And I give it all away Just to have Somewhere to go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to This is my December This is my time of the year This is my December This is all so clear And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to

Well now today thats its new year its been a little weird because i'm kind of noticing that once i go more farther in the year i can't look back in the past sure yeah i'll try to be myself but i can't because my emotion are changing my personalty is also changing and next year i'll be can't belive it 13 next year and i'm kind of shock because its going to be a weird expermeant. Well on to 2006. leave a comment

(When this began) I had nothing to say And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused) And I let it all out to find That I’m not the only person with these things in mind (Inside of me) But all that they can see the words revealed Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel (Nothing to lose) Just stuck, hollow and alone And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own [Chorus] I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long (Erase all the pain till it’s gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong And I’ve got nothing to say I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face (I was confused) Looking everywhere only to find That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind (So what am I) What do I have but negativity ’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me (Nothing to lose) Nothing to gain, hollow and alone And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own [Repeat Chorus] I will never know myself until I do this on my own And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed I will never be anything till I break away from me I will break away, I'll find myself today [Repeat Chorus] I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong Somewhere I belong

Pushing Me Away I’ve lied / to you The same way that I always do This is / the last smile That I’ll fake for the sake of being with you Everything falls apart / even the people who never frown / eventually break down The sacrifice of hiding in a lie Everything has to end / you’ll soon find we’re out of time left / to watch it all unwind The sacrifice is never knowing Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away I’ve tried / like you To do everything you wanted too This is / the last time I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you Everything falls apart / even the people who never frown / eventually break down The sacrifice of hiding in a lie Everything has to end / you’ll soon find we’re out of time left / to watch it all unwind The sacrifice is never knowing Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away Were all out of time / this is how we learn how it all unwinds The sacrifice of hiding in a lie Were all out of time / this is how we learn how it all unwinds The sacrifice is never knowing why... Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away pushes me away

Why does it feel like night today? Something in here’s not right today Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia’s all I got left I don’t know what stressed me first Or how the pressure was fed / but I know just what it feels like To have a voice in the back of my head It’s like a face that I hold inside A face that awakes when I close my eyes A face watches every time I lie A face that laughs every time I fall (And watches everything) So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim That the face inside is hearing me / right beneath my skin It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin I know I’ve got a face in me points out all the mistakes to me You’ve got a face on the inside too and Your paranoia’s probably worse I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I can’t stand Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can’t add up to what you can but Everybody has a face that they hold inside A face that awakes when they close their eyes A face watches every time they lie A face that laughs every time they fall (And watches everything) So you know that when it’s time to sink or swim That the face inside is watching you too / right inside your skin It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin the face inside is right beneath my skin the face inside is right beneath my skin the face inside is right beneath my skin The sun goes down I feel the light betray me The sun goes down I feel the light betray me The sun It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin I feel the light betray me The sun It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within I feel the light betray me It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe Sometimes I need you to stay away from me Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know Somehow I need you to go Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities What you were changing me into Just take myself back and Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities Take all your faithlessness with you Just take myself back and Don't stay Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well Sometimes I just feel like strangling you myself Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know Somehow I need to be alone Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities What you were changing me into Just take myself back and Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities Take all your faithlessness with you Just take myself back and Don't stay I don’t need you anymore, don’t want to be ignored I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away With no apologies Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities What you were changing me into Just take myself back and Don't stay Forget our memories Forget our possibilities Take all your faithlessness with you Just take myself back and Don't stay Don't stay