hahah wo its been like 3 years since ive fucken wrote in this damn thing. well what can i say, except i graduated highschool finally. imnot out in the real world and starting college in 1month. holyyyy fuck. i moved outta johnson city and im living with digger, in whitney point. Times get hard, and we fight a lot. but what can i say. i love him. We've been together for 1year and 5 months almost. its been a while. thats all i can say. Its different living with him, and shit and im glad that i made the move from home to here, because home just aint the place i wanna be after graduating highschool. Im gunna go to college for 2 years, and become a sheriff for broome county. yeah cops=loveee hahahaha i graduated from boces also, with my security licence. and a 2 year diploma for criminal justice. Which means im already there... Im turning 18 in less than a month, which should be exciting. hahahah. im gunna try to get a security job at BAE where my dad works, cause i kinda wanna stay in the feild. I dont have a job out here in whitney point. which fucken sucks. i really dont know what to say. i tryed to get a job but uhh im not 18, sooo that meanss... no moneyy.. fucken a. i got a goldfishyy as my pett... her name is delilah fynn briggs hahahahahaha yeah i named it be jelious. idc. well im outta here... peace cunt. ♥ Baby, I Will Wait For You.. IF It Takes The Rest Of My Life♥

holy shit its been forever, well me and doug broke up back in august, and then we got back together in september, and now everything is perfect and i could not ask for more, ummmm its the day before thanksgiving and im staying here at dougs for 4 days, sooo yeah thats basically it... Oh also i loe doug more than life its self... and if anyone trys to fuck shit up between me and him ill kill you k thanks diee♥

Well, today at work i was on cash register alll day for the first time, bagging and shit myself.. it was funi guess untillan old lady made me cry =( what a bitch.. so i put a melon and banana's on her bread hahahahha SCOREEEE After work i was leaving and Mary handed me a peice of paper and i thought i was fired but a lady went and made a complement about me and said i did an amazing job for it being my first time on register!! and that made me wicked happy, sooo i love my job hahhahaha After work i went to the mall, and got my eyebrows waxed and bought the new blue october CD and earing with skulls on them and i loooove themm♥ tehehehe and hung out with Daniel for a while but then had to go into work, so we said our usual peace outs and he left =( miss him like whoa hahahahahah Then i went into LoLa's to see if i wanted this skirt, and i saw Ryan Tully there and he gave me a dirty look and kept staring at me so i was like is there a fucken problem asshole? but i dont htink he hurd me hahahahah o well dont care hes just madd cuz im awsome and hes not ahahha Well after that i got on the buss and went home, on my way home i got fucken hit on by like 4 black ppl, ahahha o wow... that was interestin, hes like you single? im like nahh sorry, and hes like oh im sorry, whats ur name and im like Hillary hahahhahaha i didnt kno what to sayy hahhahaha... Welp thats about my day i guess... soooo i dont really have nething to write about so i guess im outtis... talk to u looosers laterrr♥ *The Last Kiss ill Cherish untill we Meet Again*

just in case u wanna see my fine ass hard at work♥ Thursday Aug.3:: 3pm - 7pm Friday Aug.4:: 3:45pm - 8:45pm Saturday Aug.5:: Requested Off So Wedding With Douglass♥ Sunday Aug 6:: 2pm - 5pm ((Compter Based Training Course so im not actually working haha)) Dont be afraid to stop byy and come thru my line♥ ((Wegmanss))

Psh well here i am 9:22am writing in this piece of shit journal that noone ever reads, ahahahah yeah. ugh im soo fucken tired, i have Traing fer work starting tomarrow at 9am till 3:30pm mon-fri. fucken sucks. but once training is over, and i get that fatt lump sum of cash, ill be working there and shit, and i kno that Wegmans is a good place to work so i have no worries♥ hahaha except for Daquan.. hahaha i saw him there yesterday whil i was at orientation,and he started laughing i was like greatttt hhahaha its already starting, hahahah.. Tony Fig works there, and Natalya, i should have a grand ol time working with ppl that dont like me.. hahaha YAY!!!!! Well thats about itt.. sooo i keep u posted on my work Sched. just incase u wanna stop in to say hii♥ I Love You Doug♥

O shit sonn... Tomarrow im going to the movies with Reba, Marcy, and Jon. Im soo fucken Stokedd hahaha we are going to see click. I cant wait to see Reba and marcy cuz they are sexy sexy ladies!!! ahahhaahah Well yesterday i went to doug's house. It was funn we had a few moments & one big one i guess but it worked out in the end i guess. i wasnt mad when i left so i guess thats a plus. untill i go do sumthing else wrong right? like always i'll do sumthing and piss him off.. He bought me the new nickelback cd. and i loveee itttt like whoa u dont even understand hahaha i kno like every single song on here.. hahahaah Well neways im outtis sooo i guess ill write tomarrow about he movies.. talk to you all later ♥I Loved You All Along

Doug, No matter what happens just remember that i love you with all my heart, and i promise that i will always be here for you i love you so very much and i know that i make stupid mistakes and that i so stupid shit, but you always seem to help me thru it and i love you for that I would never leave you for sumthing or sumeone stupid i love you and you should know that by now. Everytime i see you i realize how truly lucky i am. Noone has ever made me feel as loved as you have and i would never trade you for anyone because i know that you are the one that could make me happy for the rest of my life. Everytime i look at you i see my future and how bright it is and ide rather die than be without you or hurt you. Baby you are everything to me and i dont ever want oy uot leave me. Please forgive me for everything that ive ever done to hurt you... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. and i want us to be a happy couple and not the ones who fight just because they can baby i love you♥ Just promise me that you will do everything to help me thru everything that i may do to upset you. I Love You.. 4 Mo's and Still going Strong Baby

hmm so im wicked boredd, and i dont know what to doo so i guess im gonna update this peice of crapp journall.... hmm nothing has really happened in the past few days really... just the same old shitt im getting my senior pics takin on tuesday .. and i cant wait... it should be fun i just dont know what the fuck im gonna wear.. hahahahaha i have to take 3 changes of lothes and i can only think of like 2 hahahah my grandmother wants me to wear my dress and i really dont want to but whtever makes her happy i guess.... i have horrible pains in my stomach... im actually loosing weight tho, but thats from my lack of eating.. i bearly eat nemore.. like one meal a day.. sometimes less. idk why i dont eat i just dont have the energy too... my grandmother had a dream that she was holding a baby, and her and my dad seem to think it will be mine... hahahahahhaha notttt evennn sooo my birthday is vast aproching an dill be the big 17 hahahah how awsome is that.. iim almost legal... YAY dude ic ant effing wait till i graduate one more year im almost done witht his shit hole eduation shit.. hahahah wait.. i have 4 years of college to go... shittt.... WELL... i think that about sums shit up.. talk to you alll laterrrrrr ♥Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be... and then i wisper "how could You do this to Me..."

This time, This place Misused, Mistakes Too long, Too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know, you know, you know [CHORUS] That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won't give up 'Cause you know, you know, you know So far away Been far away for far too long So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go

well then here i am again, sorry that the last one was private but hey sometimes u need to do it ♥ Well then im just sitting talking to a friend of mine laughing my ass off hahha Deified Messia: So hows the wife and kids? Ohsnapitskarad: Perdy Good Ohsnapitskarad: Except the bitch wont stay off my nuts :D Deified Messa: Lol Lmao i love it we are just too cool for fucken wordss Im waiting fer Jon to call me er come back online from him nappy♥ i bet he looks so cute sleeping hahahah Wow did i miss that kidd. He was like a really good friend of myne way back when even tho i was a bitch to him the first time we met hahaha. He came up to visit my sister and he had asked me for a cig and i was like Uh NO!!! and hes like please? and im like nooo and hes like fine then i wont smoke weed with you.. and im like okay here lmao... Me n jon had so many amazing nights. Like when Craig Broke up with me right before the conklin fair, Jon was Right by my side with his arm around me telling me it was going to be okay and that he was there for me, and that i could do way better♥ Then that night in my sisters drive way just looking at the stars leaning up agenst the car, talking about what we want in life, and how we want to be happy, and him keeping me warm cuz it was hella cold out. Wow... Good timess Dougy Shoe to Jon: I Think We Done Smoked This Kid Retarded..He Dont Want No Mo' Welp tomarrow im going to dougs house fer the day soo i guess ill have shit to wright about on monday Peace nucca's :) ♥I-L-Y-A-4-Y♥

yeha its been forever and a day i know and yeah.. Me and doug are still together we have been together a year and a few days... its pretty cool i guess... We fight sometimes like last night but you know its all good... i really dont think anyone reads this shit anymore but who cares hahhaha... neways... im a Senior in HS this year and im fucken stokeddddd¢¾ I cant wait to get the fuck outta Jc and move to Whitney Point... Well im outtis.. Peaceee I Love You More Than Life Itself Douglas Foster Briggs¢¾

Wow its wicked early and im up.. like always... So im just sitting here waiting fer Doug to call at 7am.. cute riight? Im going to his house on sunday cant effing wait... I Havent seen him since last saturday so i miss him like alottt♥ I Got really mad at him yesterday because he sits there adn tells me that he is quiting drinking cuz i dont like it and then he goes and does it.. idk he just needs to realize that that shit isnt fucken worth it.. Ive had Friends Die, and Fam Die becuase of drinking and i DONT want him to end up like all the rest. Hes only 17 he can do it if he trys.. I had a horrible dream last night that Doug broke up with me b/c he met a girl that lived right down the street from him. it was so scarey cuz it was like REAL... i cryed when i woke up :( hmm well idk what else to say so ill tlak to you all later.. if u fucken read this leave a comment er ill scoop ur eyes out witha spoon♥ Kara Effin Anne ObviousFuckenly

welll im on the fone with Doug and he isnt talking isnt that fucken cute? Im sitting here waiting fer dan to get here to bring me a cigg awsome riight... its good to be able to chill with him and have no feelings besides just friends its awsome i love it Ummm well i dont really have much to say except i start work at wegmans on friday :) YAY!!! Peacce nuccca

The only thing that i want to do is watch you fall so i can laugh at you you pushed me round and held me down and tied me to the floor the promises lay brokn and i just dont care ne more you just used me and forgot me and played games with my head And now i finally get my revenge as you lay bleeding in my bed Chours: Oh i hate you more than you'll ever know I sever my veins that run with you So you can see 6 feet below My Bleeding Heart Level You Reach and cry for me to help save you But i refuse to help the one i never knew I loved you and you broke me into thousands of bleeding bits and now i cant see through your broken angry bloody fists ::chours:: Tattoo My name across your wrists so every time the blade crosses it you'll remeber it was me That made you do it ::Chours:: Gun to your head Slice your veins Gun to your heart Going insaine Bleeding heart level ((Oh)) 6 Feet below (yeah) My Bleeding Heart Level Written by mee

well yeah guys its been a very long time but here i am.. go tmy computer back last night and im sooo stoked :) hmm schools out, and i passed all my regents with a 80 or above :) smartness :) uhhh im going to fucken be a senior next year i cant believe it... RIP BRITTANY KAROLINE CLARK God Took Another Great Friend, But Gave us a Greater Gaurdian Angel ♥ umm yesterday i spent the ENTIRE day basiclly with My wonderful douglas.. we went to a wedding, and then half of a reception, then i got a headache so we went back to his house and just laid on his bed in his room for like ever which i could do for the rest of my life i still smell like him and i liiike it :) hmm what else to say... ohhh Dougs Fam. is AMAZING♥ dj,danielle,bubba,even bubba's over protective girlfriend, dougs mom dee rocks my lifeee, and his dad... helarious love them♥ well im outta here love you's Doug you are my Everything♥ I looove You

i dont really know what to say ne more.. Personally im soo sick of everything. I hate fucken school, i just dont even want to come nemore, not because of people, but because i fell so fucken stupid. I sit in classes and everyone knows what they are talking about and im like clueless. and it makes me feel like a failure. i dont want to fail my 11th grade year. but seriously i dont think im gonna pass my history final or my math B...Fuck... Everynight i go home, and i realize that i do have a very good life, and that i am very privleged, and that my life could be worse, but then i start getting thoese pains in my chest, and my heart starts to beat really fast. and i get scared. Im sweating all the time, and i dont know what the fuck to do. MY lungs are constantly burning, and my head throbs ALLLLL the time.. i have a perminate migrane. My arm is all brused from me getting my blood taken every 3 weeks, and im just soo sick of being poked and pryed at that i just wish i would just die. cuz im so sick of being sick. and im sick of having this skin disease, adn im sick of being alone in all this. NOONE knows what it feels like to go to bed at night in soo much fucken pain you dont know if ull die or not. Then there is doug. Me and him NEVER fight. EVER.. but he does some dumb things sometimes that just makes me want to SLAP HIM IN THE FUCKEN HEAD.... Hes sooo fucken smart and has soo much going for him, but he hardly ever shows up to C.j ne more.. and i blame it on me. i know that its his desision what he does but i cant help but worry about him and his future... New Song--Alanis Morisette You Outta Know Im really starting to care about him alot too.. and that scares me.. cuz i dont know wheither it will be okay in the end. But i still put up that fucken wall between me n him cuz im SO scared of getting hurt again, i cant let him in all the way cuz what if this turns out to be bullshit like it was before. I mean ive thought i was in love before, and it turned out to be this bigg bunch of bullshit, and i hope i NEVER EVER EVER SEE HIM AGAIN :-/ Half the time i sit here and i wonder what would of happened if i had never fucked shit up if i would of just said what had happened and told him... but then i realize, he would of fucked me over either way. hes deff. not even worth one goddamn thought of breath or letter in this fucken journal. Hes nuthing to me and never will be ever again Well the bell rang and im just carrying on like a fucken winey brat so i guess ill leave it at that. So im off to Env. Science, and then Boces to sit there without Douglas... godd i hate this... & & When I Close My E-y-e-s And Picture My Life With You, I Realize N o O n e Else Ever Really Mattered At All

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you I wish nothing but the best for you both An older version of me Is she perverted like me Would she go down on you in a theatre Does she speak eloquently And would she have your baby I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able To make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, till you died But you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know You seem very well, things look peaceful I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced Are you thinking of me when you fuck her Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able To make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, til you died But you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me And I'm not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes and you know it And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it...well can you feel it And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know

hello all :) Im sitting here in the library waiting fer the bell to ring cuz im realllllyyy sick of today already. Mr. Entwistle is a fucken asshole and makes me hate criminal justice.. Douglas Foster Briggs wasnt in class today.. hmm wonder what the exscuse will be today? Gotta love him ♥ New Song:: Pink Spiders :: Little Razorblades Hey, hey, little razorblade, girl you're so so dangerous you say you wanna try and get away and thats just so obvious but I've got the keys so lets put it into drive Hey, hey, little razorblade, girl you're so so serious you're only pretty when you walk away and you act oblivious but I've got the keys so let's put it into drive but don't call it a crush don't call it a crush, baby you know I love you too much to be crushed like that Give back my heart tonight I'm sick of never smiling 'cause you're so uptight 'cause we know its not alright but neither one of us is putting up a fight. And you're right that its wrong to spend the night alone you stand on the shore as I'm treading water and wave as I sink like a stone Hey, hey, little razorblade, girl you're so so obnoxious this lucid dream is now reality and it makes me so anxious Welp thats it love you all talk to you bitches tomarrow :) ♥

DIGGER IS MY BOYFRIEND JACQUI SO DIEEE♥ LOVE YOU THO so yeah basically i love my boyfrined and Jacqui and Amy and Desiree cuz they are all like whoa in my heart for ever and ever and ever. Seriously nuthing right now can make me sad cuz everything in my life seems to be going amazingly except fer the little drama but hey who doesnt have bullshit in their life. But hey i couldnt ask for better friends or a boyfriend :)♥ LOVE YOU Welp off to class with Ms. Jacqui Sterling♥ Love you alllllll hes all ill ever need♥ SO DIEE

My Amazing Boyfriend Douglas Passed his Road Test, and Has His CAr on the Road... LOVE HIM♥ :) today cant get any better seriously :D