Sick today.

I'm getting really sick of having to buy my own food and school supplies and then my mom having the nerve not even to pay me back. Fuck her, when we didn't have any money I gave her everything I could get my hands on and now that she making a lot she treats me like I'm robbing her blind. Whatever.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I HATE YOU.

I'm starting to crack up, finally it's happened. I just want to scream all the time and not have to control myself; I want to break walls and smash cement. I'm not that strong. Besides, I need structure in my life anyway 'cause that is what's causing me to crack up anyway.

You're gross, I hate you. Stop looking in mirrors.

I need to make myself do it this time. I need to try. I can't screw things up for myself.

I just want to let go. Maybe I can loose myself in this tense situation. I wish it wasn't my tense situation.

No matter how hard I try, You’re never satisfied. Three Days Grace I'm want to give up on you but I can't. I fucking hate you because you're me.

I'm still looking to get control of everything again. It'll happen, things just take time, right? It just needs some time?

The rain stopped. I give up.

It rained. I feel so much better.

The motivation isn't there. For anything.

I've gotten so lonely lately.

I worry for you a lot. I wonder what you are thinking and why but I don't know what to do. I want to help. How can I help?

I wonder how often you read this.

Everything is piling up, there is so much work that needs to be done in and out of school it's ridiculous. I hate getting stressed out. It would be so amazing just to pause time and to deal with what I have to do NOW. One thing at a time. Yeah, that's how it should go. I think this week is the breaking point. After Saturday I'll be golden. Just gotta make it 'til then.

A non-private entry for a change. Aren't you excited? I am. Hurray. Sarcasm isn't as much fun on the internet. 9 1215225 251521.

I hope you read this and I hope you know, I Love You.

I'm trying to do well in school but it seems hard to keep up. I wish I had a better memory. It was Jasmine's 18th birthday yesterday and Amelia and I slept over her house and watched a lot of Veggietales. It was hilarious, we had a really good time.