The words "I Love You" are said everyday.
It's not true how they say that those words loose their meaning.

In fact, they get stronger when you realise that you love them more than they will ever know and you do not know what you would do without them in your life.
Or how they would react if they knew the 'real' you.

This point, this moment, this second is where all your insecurites will arrive.

If they were to realise that your planning on being with said person for years and years to come: They'd run.
If you were to say exactly how you felt: They'd run.
If they were to know about you, everything. Everything in this place, your head: They'd run
If they knew you thought about them every second, or how just thinking about them makes your day: They'd run.

Now, Obviously - he knows nothing. He knows I love him, alot. And that I think of him, and miss him.
But I think thats all I ever want him to know. Thats as far as I ever want to let anyone in.
Ever.
This is the farthest anyone has ever got, amd will ever go.

My head is so full of what if's and maybe's - even when's.
What happens when this happens, and what if I say this, maybe this will happen when I do that.

Scariest of all? I want to belive him when he says "I love you more than anything"
Why can't I, Why is there such doubt?
Part of me says it's because I don't trust well, I've been hurt before & I don't want to be hurt again. I couldn't handle that.
Or maybe it's because my feelings don't match his, i'm at level 8 and he's down there at 5. Could it be?

Easiest way is talking about it, I guess. Thinking logically and everything.
Shame I don't do logic.

Hopeless...[36]