iam home stomch hurts and trying to past the time till tara comes on i miss her soooooo much anyway i found this on the web its from one of my fav movies clerks read it its funny btw dante is a clerk at a gas station there inside the store behind the counter laying down and dante is painting veronica's nails this shits so funny i lmao everytime i read it DANTE I had to use shoe polish to make that sign. The smell won't come off. VERONICA Do you think anyone can see us down here? DANTE Why? You wanna have sex or something? VERONICA (sarcastic) Ooh! Can we?! DANTE Really? VERONICA I was kidding. DANTE Yeah, right. You can't get enough of me. VERONICA Typically male point of view. DANTE How do you figure? VERONICA You show some bedroom proficiency, and you think you're gods. What about what we do for you? DANTE Women? Women, as lovers, are all basically the same: they just have to be there. VERONICA "Be there?" DANTE Making a male climax is not all that challenging: insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat. VERONICA How flattering. 19. DANTE Now, making a woman cum...therein lies a challenge. VERONICA Oh, you think so? DANTE A girl makes a guy cum, it's standard. A guy makes a girl cum, it's talent. VERONICA And I actually date you? DANTE Something wrong? VERONICA I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it takes more than that to get a guy off. Just "being there"-as you put it-is not enough. DANTE I touched a nerve. VERONICA I'm astonished to hear you trivialize my role in our sex life. DANTE It wasn't directed at you. I was making a broad generalization. VERONICA You were making a generalization about "broads!" DANTE These are my opinions based on my experiences with the few women who were good enough to sleep with me. VERONICA How many? DANTE How many what? VERONICA How many girls have you slept with? 20. DANTE How many different girls? Didn't we already have this discussion once? VERONICA We might have; I don't remember. How many? DANTE Including you? VERONICA It better be up to and including me. DANTE (pause to count) Twelve. VERONICA You've slept with twelve different girls? DANTE Including you; yes. Pause. She slaps him. DANTE What the hell was that for? VERONICA You're a pig. DANTE Why'd you hit me? VERONICA Do you know how many different men I've had sex with? DANTE Do I get to hit you after you tell me? VERONICA Three. DANTE Three? VERONICA Three including you. 21. DANTE You've only had sex with three different people? VERONICA I'm not the pig you are. DANTE Who? VERONICA You! DANTE No; who were the three, besides me? VERONICA John Franson and Rob Stanslyk. DANTE (with true admiration) Wow. That's great. That's something to be proud of. VERONICA I am. And that's why you should feel like a pig. You men make me sick. You'll sleep with anything that says yes. DANTE Animal, vegetable, or mineral. VERONICA Vegetable meaning paraplegic. DANTE They put up the least amount of struggle. VERONICA After dropping a bombshell like that, you owe me. Big. DANTE All right. Name it. VERONICA I want you to come with me on Monday. DANTE Where? 22. VERONICA To school. There's a seminar about getting back into a scholastic program after a lapse in enrollment. DANTE Can't we ever have a discussion without that coming up? VERONICA It's important to me, Dante. You have so much potential that just goes to waste in this pit. I wish you'd go back to school. DANTE Jesus, would you stop? You make my head hurt when you talk about this. VERONICA stands, letting DANTE'S head hit the floor. DANTE Shit! Why are we getting up? VERONICA Unlike you, I have a class in forty-five minutes. A handsome young man (WILLAM) is standing at the counter. VERONICA reacts to him. VERONICA (surprised) Willam! WILLAM Ronnie! How are you? You work here now? VERONICA (locks arms with DANTE) No, I'm just visiting my man. (to DANTE) Dante, this is Willam Black. (to WILLAM) This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend. DANTE How are you? Just the soda? WILLAM And a pack of cigarettes. (to VERONICA; paying) Are you still going to Seton Hall? 23. VERONICA No, I transferred into Monmouth this year. I was tired of missing him. (squeezes DANTE'S arm) WILLAM Do you still talk to Sylvan? VERONICA I just talked to her on Monday. We still hang out on weekends. WILLAM (leaving) That's cool. Well-you two lovebirds take it easy, all right? VERONICA I will. Take it easy. WILLAM Bye. (exits) VERONICA Bye (to DANTE) That was Snowball. DANTE Why do you call him that? VERONICA Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job thing. DANTE What do you mean? VERONICA After he gets a blow job, he likes to have the cum spit back into his mouth while kissing. It's called snowballing. DANTE He requested this? VERONICA He gets off on it. 24. DANTE Sylvan can be talked into anything. VERONICA Why do you say that? DANTE Like you said-she snowballed him. VERONICA Sylvan? No; I snowballed him. DANTE Yeah, right. VERONICA I'm serious... A moment of silence as DANTE'S chuckles fade to comprehension. DANTE You sucked that guy's dick? VERONICA Yeah. How do you think I know he liked... DANTE (panicky) But...but you said you only had sex with three guys! You never mentioned him! VERONICA That's because I never had sex with him! DANTE You sucked his dick! VERONICA We went out a few times. We didn't have sex, but we fooled around. DANTE (massive panic attack) Oh my God! Why did you tell me you only slept with three guys? VERONICA Because I did only sleep with three guys! That doesn't mean I didn't just go with people. 25. DANTE Oh my God-I feel so nauseous... VERONICA I'm sorry, Dante. I thought you understood. DANTE I did understand! I understand that you slept with three different guys, and that's all you said. VERONICA Please calm down. DANTE How many? VERONICA Dante... DANTE How many dicks have you sucked?! VERONICA Let it go... DANTE HOW MANY? VERONICA All right! Shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak like this when you told me how many girls you fucked. DANTE This is different. This is important. How many?! She counts silently, using fingers as marks. DANTE waits on a customer in the interim. VERONICA stops counting. DANTE Well...? VERONICA (half-mumbled) Something like thirty-six. DANTE WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX? 26. VERONICA Lower your voice! DANTE What the hell is that anyway, "something like thirty-six?" Does that include me? VERONICA Um. Thirty-seven. DANTE I'M THIRTY-SEVEN? VERONICA (walking away) I'm going to class. DANTE Thirty-seven?! (to CUSTOMER) My girlfriend sucked thirty-seven dicks! CUSTOMER In a row? DANTE chases VERONICA down and grabs her by the door. DANTE Hey! Where are you going?! VERONICA Hey listen, jerk! Until today you never even knew how many guys I'd slept with, because you never even asked. And then you act all nonchalant about fucking twelve different girls. Well, I never had sex with twelve different guys! DANTE No, but you sucked enough dick! VERONICA Yeah, I went down on a few guys... DANTE A few? 27. VERONICA ...And one of those guys was you! The last one, I might add, which-if you're too stupid to comprehend- means that I've been faithful to you since we met! All the other guys I went with before I met you, so, if you want to have a complex about it, go ahead! But don't look at me like I'm the town whore, because you were plenty busy yourself, before you met me! DANTE (a bit more rational) Well...why did you have to suck their dicks? Why didn't you just sleep with them, like any decent person?! VERONICA Because going down it's a big deal! I used to like a guy, we'd make out, and sooner or later I'd go down on him. But I only had sex with the guys I loved. DANTE I feel sick. VERONICA (holds him) I love you. Don't feel sick. DANTE Every time I kiss you now I'm going to taste thirty-six other guys. VERONICA violently lets go of him. VERONICA I'm going to school. Maybe later you'll be a bit more rational. DANTE (pause) Thirty-seven. I just can't... VERONICA Goodbye, Dante. She exits in a huff. DANTE stands there in silence for a moment. Then he swings the door open and yells out. 28. DANTE Try not to suck any more dicks on your way through the parking lot! Two men who were walking in the opposite direction outside double back and head in the direction. VERONICA went. DANTE HEY! HEY, YOU! GET BACK HERE!