lullaby

by thistle

i want to scream from my rooftop that i want someone to love me. need someone to love me. i want and need and crave and ache for love again.

but my rooftop...my little rooftop with its rusting barbecue grill and purple stains in the corner from when we spray painted those shelves that hot summer afternoon is in this loud and bustling city and this loud and bustling city is too loud and bustling to hear me. and so are the people in this silly city and so no one would hear or care.

"take me home

take me home and leave me there

think i'm going to cry, i don't know why

think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby

feel free to listen

feel free to stare"

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I remember feeling like that... feeling like you didn't care anymore, you just don't want to deal with all the bullshit memories and the sting of being alone.

And then eventually it disappears and you don't even really realize its gone. You get used to sleeping alone, you get used to it all. Sometimes it all sneaks back up on you, and suddenly without warning you feel like shit for a few more days too.

Surely you're just on a bump in the road, you've been doing decently well these past few months.


Keep your eyes open and your heart open, but not looking, and it'll all fall into place.