alritey.. im jus gonna say wat i need to say.. and if u dont like it then thats wat the |x| at the top right corner is for! just a heads up for u there! :) last nite was cool. i went to the grudge with leslie, molly, meg, drew, and brendan. the movie absolutely SUCKED! haha! it was soo NOT scary!! it was a major waste of time and money!! there was more laughing than screaming goin on! but it was all good cuz the ppl i went with are all super cool kids :) !! but i did see sum1 i never wanna see again. john beck. i dont think he saw me (i dont think hed even recognize me anyways) but i didnt talk to him.. but why would i? he was the biggest ASS to me in elementary school. i kno, u shouldnt hold grudges (haha name of the movie...) but that kid was SO mean to me, and i never did a SINGLE thing to him!! so thats it. today i did nothin at all. quite fun! i went out to my grandpas house and did some stuff like clean and stuff for him. then i came home and relaxed. im workin on a cd for leslie.. but im having a hard time finding the rite songs for the "theme" of the cd... haha leslie knows what im talkin about! after that i went out to dinner with my family! woo! we went to ruby tuesdays... today i was reading cosmogirl (my fav!! ahh!) and there was this thing about this girl who was walking to blockbusters with her boyfriend. when they were crossing the street she looks down and notices her shoe lace is untied, so she stops and ties it (wow what a smart kid!!!) anyways, she sees a truck coming but freezes and cant move. and then she feels someone push her out of the way. then when the truck is passed she turns and sees it was her BOYFRIEND! they were taken to the hospital and two hours later her boyfriend died!!!!!!!! AWW!!! it made me CRY!! it was SOO sad yet SOOO sweet!! aww im crying jus thinking about it!! that story made me rly want a boyfriend!! but i dont think i need a boyfriend rite now. like i dont think im rdy at the moment. i need to work on my "ME issues". im sooo freaking self-conscious its crazy!! like i really dont like myself that much.. so i think i need to work on that b4 anything else! i reaaly really need to lose weight! this past janurary i started a diet and there were alot of ups and downs but by mid-july i had lost over TWENTY pounds! yea! go me!! i was feeling pretty confident.. but then i dunno, i started not doing so good. and after me and walt broke up and school was starting (stressful!!), it went all downhill from there. right now ive put on AT LEAST half of what i lost! but its ok, b/c tomorrow afternoon im going to go rejoin the weight loss program i was on (which i had stopped goin to)! haha i kno this all sounds retarded but its ok, cuz im doin this for myself, not anyone else. i kno itll take some time, but im gonna stick with it. i really am NOT going to mess it up this time! itll take like at least 4 months, if not alot more, to get where i rly wanna be, but ill get there!! its really hard not to be self-critical sometimes! all my friends r rly skinny and pretty! so its hard not to get down on urself and feel ugly/fat. somedays i look into the mirror and want to throw something at it! lol i just want to look into the mirror and be happy! well that is enough! but it was nice to get that out! now i gotta go work on my homework! luv u bunches! bye bye!!