You know i really hate how my life is treating me it feel so hard and like it will never get any easier. I always picture my life to be perfect but nothing is perfect i figured i would be with my family i would have there help when i needed it but hey help make this life so much harder. Its like sonny doesn't make this life any easier but at least hes there for me. i don't know will him and i be together for ever or is just a thing that is jsut happeing right now. I wish i could see into the future so i know and i can make everything right. i feel so unhappy but in ways i feel happy i don't know im just really confussed. its like i don't need another father i need a boyfriend who cares and who is ther and who will listen if i need someone to talk to. i don't know people say well tell him this and that yeah it may be easy to say it them but hwne you see the person face to face it no as easy as u think. No matter how much i love sonny and my family i wish they could be there for all the time. yeah i'll be honest i excremly jelous of his kids i would like to have him for myself i mean we don't do anything he gives them more hugs then me i feel left out but i guess thats the way its suppose to be if there is kids envloved. It will be differnt once i have kids of my own. i wonder though if sonny and i are soul mates will we be together for ever man do i really wish i new.