lately
Feeling: bipolar
Omg lately life has been so gay but yet real good ... the only problem is i have lotz of guys all up on grill and yea i like them all of them but i have a boyfriend but i like the otherguys too and they all have asked me out too... god this really sucks but yea i guess its cool
Read 0 comments

freak out

Feeling: insatiable
okies lately people have been at my house and they just start having episodes where they see shit thats not there and it scares me to death but they keep saying its this house and im scared my house its slowly taking over all of us and making us insane they are like the little lawn gnomes that are taking my sanity one at a time... but why is all this shit happing to me of all people... im a christian
Read 0 comments

why?

Feeling: sane
whuts up with this world lately everyones dieing... but why? last week 9/14/05 my ex boyfriend nik w/a K died in a car accident he was my best friend and I love him with all my heart i will always miss him ...i couldnt stand saying goodbye to him at the funeral it was so hard it broke my heart the day after we buried him i went to see the crash site and there was a rose place where you could see the outline of niks body and is blood that the cops tried covering up with sand... i have cried everyday since nik died ...sometimes i still dont believe that hes dead... his furneral song was greenday- wake me up when september ends... and thats exactly whut im gunna do... and as a good bye celebration of nik life we partied ...why... because thats whut nik wanted us to do...on top of niks death heres who eles died just this summer; my neice brandi varcoe, stevie from grayling, and friends of mine josh,jessica wrona and exactly 1 week after niks was my uncle kal.so my life is dieing ...why?
Read 2 comments

happly kinda sorta single

Feeling: alone
well good news i broke up with zack cuz he hit me and im kinda sorta dating some one who works for the carnival his name is billy and hes really fucking hott and hes really sweet and wont ever hit a girl... surprisingly upbeat... bad news is i am stuck with zack for another week and i dont get to see billy so im really upset all i have is a picture of us together... its sweet...well last night we decided to do witch craft and we we to cry baby bridge and pere cheney cemetary to of the most haunted places in roscommon county except for the cemetery down the road from me and fuck we keep seeing shit it was fuck scary as hell but fun... yet upbeat... well i will write more later loves yaz buh bye
Read 7 comments

new lately
Listening to: none
Feeling: torn
well not much has been up lately but i do have a b/f his name is zack slater hes from flint and hes staying with me for a few weeks its really sweet.but a few days ago i had to go down state for a funeral my 2 year old cusin drowned in a pool her brother taylor found her so i went to owasso and stayed with them for a few dayz but really not uch is new with me so ive gotta go ttyl
Read 3 comments

hurray fetus ... sunday is my sweet 16
I adopted a cute lil' birthday fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! his name is very merry un birthday
Read 3 comments

well... i dont know
Feeling: bizarre
i dont know my friends get to come over for friday and saturday and we get sum free yeah-o from a friend of mine plus i getta see larry and everyone but let me tell you how smert i am ...i thought that there was a big Bold difference between being mexican and hispanic kinda like american and chineese which is funny that im that smert well i dont know whut else to write in this entry cuz no much is goin on in my life as of now
Read 5 comments

happiness=death

Feeling: angry
Sometimes this life can be sooo f*ing gay! I jus live my life day to day hoping for some sign of difference. But it’s all the same. I CANT STAND HAPPIENESS! IN REALITY LIFE IS NOT AS HAPPY AS PEOPLE TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM! WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM SO HAPPY? Deep down they know they are hurting. I hope people read this and maybe see the real me is. IM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM! ALL YOU PEOPLE THINK IM A F*ING PREP! Well the truth is IM NOT!!! I hate people who are PREPS that try to make their life sound so friggin abnormal. But if you really want abnormal you should listen to my life. I’ve grown up not having a lot of money. My father is an alcoholic, my brother nick is blind. Brian is gay and does witchcraft. Kevin is married with 2 kids, And josh I don’t know about him. Lol, no he worries me just a bit… j/p. he’s probably the only sane one in the house. Except for me … okays I lied i'm not ne where close to being sane. And our friends’ wows are they ever crazy. Especially Zack Burns and Adam Lux. But Josh and Zack are trying to hook me up with Adam…but what about Larry things are going good for us. The way we planned …But…well… I don’t know… maybe it’s all THIS FRIGGIN HAPPINESS MAKING ME NAUSIOUS.
Read 2 comments

Doing what i do
Listening to: fantanas - Fanta
Feeling: anxious
why cant you see how much your hurting me you dont understand the things i do i have a reason how bout you i used ot cut, used to take pills but how would my mom figure out my will you try to understand but whats the use i cant stand your verbal abuse nothing you say helps cant you tell all i do is cry now i peirce myself you say thats dumb, but why its like youd rather me cut and die i cant take this any more what am i to do im on the verge of doing what i do but this is the end and not for me ,FOR YOU! By Lara Bennett AKA Me
Read 5 comments

my lifes a bitch

Listening to: mario- how could you
Feeling: depressed
i dont know i guess ppl dont understand the things i do and why i do them.like i just peirce the under neath of my tounge but no one knows why. they juss dont understand whut im going through right now my life is so hectic and its better than me do other thing like slitting or popping pills. then they tell me thats dumb why would you cut or stupid shit like popping pills and then they wonder why im pissed at them. well its juss cuz they want to know why i do it and i try to tell them but its like they would rather have me slit and the other shit rather than get any peircing or change my look and one off those people is you frodo and you know it
Read 0 comments

new me
Listening to: trillville - sum cut
Feeling: beautiful
im a new me last night i got my hair colored and high lighted so now its redish with golden and blonde highlights its really cool so is the new me oh ya and i got my eyes waxed but i hope ppl will like the new me
Read 5 comments

not much

Feeling: torn
ive been up at 9 every mornig this week why u ask because lets see monday i was supposed to get my hair colored and they canclled so then we went to the Tc mall came home went tot bed woke up at 9 again cuz i had to get fitted for my pagent gowns.. and this lay out thing was begining to bug me so im taking time outta me sleeping to fix it and my diary... if you have ne ideas how to make my diary ne better please tell me and i will think them over
Read 6 comments

Spring break
Listening to: nobody- skindred
Feeling: alive
last night we had our 1st storm it was cool i cant wait till fridaycuz toria is cumming over @ 8 and when her mom get off work were going to kaalkaska
Read 0 comments

i dont know whut to name this one

Feeling: mopey
today i had go to bay city cuz my brother had a docters appointment and on the way to bay city from roscommon we stopped at 2 bridal shops 1 in west branchj and the sepliners in Bay city then we went to the mall to try on dresses at deb i was so fucking frustrated i wanted to punch my mom and my brothers lights outbut my mind keep wondering cuz its only 1 and a half days left till i got see toria in Kalkaska cuz then its spring brak and then on the 4 i get to have my hair dyed for free its so much funi cant wait
Read 0 comments

my life now ...i guess
Feeling: boyish
well i quess this is my life as of now. well i got kicked of the bus cuz i sucker punched a prep in her fucking back. i went to top notch and hung out i guess thats whut u call it ? well brian got kicked in his chest sam got emotional but i still love her ne way..well me sammi and josh were gunna go see bri @ home and we were gunna bring larry josh kidnapped him outta his house w/no shoes it was funny but his parents came home to soon so larry didnt go:( well we got back haome and larry jordon and nathen came ova and we hung out in my room for like an hour (they were on curfew)but me and sam were muching on food so i open my gummie life savers ( in which i never share) but i shared them w/ larry and his friend jordon and i didnt get ne they ate them in like 2 mins flat i was pissed but not that pissed cuz as most of u know i love larry well i also got to miss the first day of work keys it was awesome hahahaha suckers in rosco u all started today and i didnt
Read 7 comments

muah ahahahahahahahahah

omg its so fucking funny i cant believe i got kicked off the fucking buss for three days...and it was for a fucking gay ass reason ...so fucking what... i sucker punched a fucking prep in her back as i got off the school buss ... maybe if she wasnt talking shit and being a annoying preppy ass bitch she wouldnt have gotten sucker punched.well then today sam and i slept in cuz we were juss gunna skip school well my fucking mother had to throw a fit and took me and sam to school well instead of going to 6th block for a half hour we juss skipped it was so much fun well we are gunna go next door to my neibors and hes gunna play the drums for me and sam ( the boy is fucking fine ass hell) and we be sayin im gunna dance to the beat of his drum
Read 2 comments

owwwwwwwwwwwie
Feeling: hurt
monday i was fucking around with my brother nick (blind) and i stepped up on akiten chair then down my anklle twisted i went to the docter on tuesday cuz i couldnt walk on it he gave me an air cast and told me to go home and walk on it that it would be better in a day or two i went to school wed. and part of thurs. and our school has steps so every tyme iwould go up and down them my ankle would pop and crack and hurt worse i went to the docters @ 4 on thurs. the docter said it was a sprain worse than what he that it was and the popping and cracking was my legaments /tendons and muscles ripping more and more its a 3 degree outta 4 degrees sprain. then he said no weight on ur ankle for 2 weeks and 1 day after using them they have rubbed my sides raw and it hurts tooo
Read 6 comments

Shit Face

Feeling: pure
it was so funny this weekend i went to top notch on saturday and every one there was shit faced it was hil-fucking-arious i couldnt believe my eyes lisa "im a saint" Koch was so fucking drunk i had to help to the truck to get a peice of gum so she could sober up or so she says well thats was the end cuz i went went home before i opened a can of woop ass on some preppy ass bitch from west branch
Read 7 comments