[If you know me: don't take offense to an objective view, im sure you'll recieve a personal consideration at some point. Please don't talk out of private to me about parts of this/these, that may cause hurt others. And please don't tell anyone this exists.] Perhaps because i was delivered experience and knowledge from an earlier age, i was far more likely to explore the nature of sex and desire, arousal and satisfaction. A girl i thought was pretty open-minded when it comes to sex (Rose) revealed that she thought i was somewhat kinkier than her. The given theory of the fervent exploration of lust accounts to this, since she has some 4 (5?) years of experience less then me, but experience does not necessarily relate to knowledge, and want. A large majority of what i know i enjoy is from educating myself in, or becoming witness to, various practicies of perversion. I don't know how far her knowledge base stretches. And i've been with girls who, with little-to-no prior knowledge of the possibilities of sexual adventure, have swiftly and readily embarked in more outrageous behaviour than they'd ever considered. That is, if they are to be believed. It's difficult to tell if not a single one had never previously fantasised about the supreme delights of sexual extremity. But i think all considerations up to this point are redundant and must, unfortunately, be discounted. Furthermore, i can't base anything solid on merely my personal life experience. So it's pointless to, say, look for clues in my development since everyone's development is so diverse, yet we get overlapping fetishes and needs, from a massive population. im pretty baked lol. So what can be said about the construction of poeple's desires? There are likely multiple reasons for feeling what we feel, and it's difficult (impossible?) to tell what a person will enjoy most in terms of sexual gratification, from their earlier behaviour and influences. ... Bugger. Got distracted and lost my train of thought. This was gonna be a list of things i personally enjoy, but i couldn't help wondering why i like what i do. Maybe that's the next entry. Im so tired i have no idea what i just wrote. 5 in the morning begs the question: go to sleep now and not wake up for 10 hours? or sit it out, get some good sleep from a reasonable time tomorrow? i wanted to do some revision, don't think that's likely now. Uhm. there's so much i wanted to say, i can't decide where to start from. Let's talk about April. [deleted] Im getting bored and have no idea what my point was. Oh yea, it was well awkward and i feel bad, but also feel powerless.