well... he culd have almost anyone and im pretty sure he knows that. i get jealous easily. he flirts with everyone. enough said on that. i guess im just afraid one day he'll realize how unattractive i am..or he already has. and then he'll realize how much he likes some other girl. and yah..im not even going out with him...but still. its still losing someone to me. i get paranoid. oh well. mike disappointed me a lot today. when youre making plans..if u dont wanna go then say so. no one is going to hate you becuz u dont wanna do sumthing..or atleast, i wont. and u know..im just not going to invite him places any more. im done chasing him around and like forcing him to make plans. he obviously has better things to do.ill just make plans with people who can stick to their word. i mean..atleast call someone and tell them you cant go or youre not interested...dont leave 3 people hanging..wondering..wasting their time. because now, none of us got to do what we wanted because of one guy whos only worried about himself and making the best of his own time. enough of that... i hate having friends who seem to throw u around...i mean i dont have too many of those..becuz in like 8th grade i learned how to not be thrown around.or so i thot. but theres still some people who i wuld do anything for and that results on me becoming a fucking doormat for them to wipe their feet on. like...theres people who i will always ALWAYS be there for..and then they realize that becuz i always am..and then they say "i want to be there for you"..well then show that you mean it. and if you dont mean it..then dont waste your time saying it. its not worth lying. i dont need lies. and i hate how sometimes those people pick and choose when you will hang out...when they want to hang out with you..when theyll call you or pick up the fone when u call them..like... its always their decision and if you lose connection during a call they dont even bother calling back becuz "they knew you would call back". how fucked is that. thats stupid. you should be considerate of those close to you. and even the ones who arent close to you. and i guess im one to talk. but im not perfect so sorry. ive turned this sitdiary into a place where i can bitch and complain about all my bullshit. oh well.