so i've been thinking a lot lately, about a lot of different things. i don't know, it seems like the more i think about some things, the more confused i get. i feel far apart from everyone i've ever felt close to. i don't know what to do about anything anymore. i'm extremely confused. here's something that came out of my venting: All My Efforts i'll carve this in my arm, just how much you mean to me. will you not see? i'd give my life for you, but what can i possibly do to show you just how much this hurts? i'll be a shoulder when you need to cry, and i will always try, to be there when you call, to pick you up when you fall. all my efforts mean nothing. all i wanted was to do something, something that made you think i was a good friend. i was mistaken and you changed your mind again. am i really as worthless as i feel? is it really no big deal, that you make me feel this way? my heart tells me it's not okay. should i listen to my heart, or bottle it up and watch as i fall apart?