im packing what is left of this desolate space. this small room, that kept my secrets for a whole semester of adulthood. with the last bag packed, i am ready to come home. a home, that i once took for granted, only to miss so much when i became deprived of it. it doesnt have to be that way anymore, and i thank god and everyone involverd for helping in molding my life into supreme happiness. im going to a b day party tonight, with well organized company, and i couldnt ask for much more. sunday nights watching wrestling with friends seems so exciting, i finally get to experience it. i dont think ill miss this place, well all except for the free food. more later [straight up]

its 5 am...and my eyes are glazed. i havnt written(typed) in here for ages, and out of boredom i stumbled upon SD and somehow pulled my login out of the depths of my memory. i guess memorization comes easier towards things you want, so i figured deep down i wanted to start pouring my life onto this lame internet site once again. Alot of interesting things have happened since my lastr post. in fact, i am currently sitting in the house of the girl i last mentioned. Sure, we worked things out, had ups and downs(lots of them), but in the end i know she cares about me, vice versa, and i suppose we are doing fine. Tomorrow is my last day at WKU, im switching colleges for next semester. that means no more late night online poker with my cousin, sorry pal. my eyes have turned somewhat bloodshot, and yet when i close them i only find the desire to open them and continue with the night. she will be getting up for school soon, looking messy and tired with bad breath and i find nothing more beautiful in the world. sometimes people wonder what true love is, i think i have found a fitting definition. you see, recently i have been hit on and put in situations with gorgeous girls, but for some reason i have no desire to even touch them. in fact, when i look at them i only notice what they dont have on her. the things they are missing. the qualities and attributes they lack to make up 5 percent of what she is. being able to say no with no temptation or intention, i believe that is what true love is. forget the "i think about you before i go to bed and when i wake up" shit, that has nothing. half of the peopl who say that have cheated on the person they confess that to. its pitiful. im rapidly making friends, good friends. thats a great feeling. sometimes i feel im too nice of guy...well id say thats an understatement. i dont like it. i want to change it. not for anybody in particular, but for myself. i hate the thought ofm being the type of person someone can walk all over in life, thats going to change. im going to start taking a stand for myself, that doesnt mean im going to be an asshole, but it does mean i wont let you be one. seom of my friends are in trouble. two are on house arrest and one is in tenbrook. thats just pathetic. i care about him so much, this weekend im going to talk to his mom so she might let him out. he better not be there during christmas or ill find a loop in a law and sue his mom for everything she has. that has to be child abuse or something. i feel like i typed too much for my first entry back, so i guess im going to go. i dont expect comments on this, half of you have forgotten i had a SD. its alright though, im not looking for comments, or anyone to even read this for that matter, i just need somewhere to record my thoughts instead of lame myspace. its so scene. goodbye and i love you [straight up]

ok so once again i am going to try to write in this every day. or atleast once a week or something. i have more shit to write about now. ok so yeh, the person i loved has something with someone else or something like that, or maybe just made a mistake. at first, i was crying and blah blah blah and going psycho. i guess i over reacted. after all, we wernt going out so she didnt cheat on me or anything like that. i just thought we had something more special than that. i sat around depressed for a little while. blah so later tonight i feel alot better. and the more i thought about it, i realized that i could seriously give a shit. while i wasted my time trying to win her back, i might have missed so many oppertunities, and thats just the truth. shes a great person, just not right for me i guess. so depression has left me, no hard feelings, maybe its a good thing, right? right. im not going to worry, or think about her, or focus on her. im moving on, with someone new, someone who wants to be with me and feels about me how i feel about them. someone i havnt met yet. but i am in college, and the oppertunities are currently limitless. i am taking this whole situation as a learning experience. shit happens. at first you feel like you will never find anyone like the person who has hurt you, but then u do find another person, and they make you forget about what you like in the firt person anyway. im not looking for relationships, they suck. im just saying that if i meet a girl, by all means, she can have my number. i will treat her how a girl is supposed to be treated, instead of being an asshole just to get her to cringe off my every movement and worry all that time. after all, thats not what true relationships are abuot...right? right. [straight up]