i hate drama. ive never dressed up. i wish i were skinnier i want desperately to hurt mrs. c. i have the obsessive need to compare myself to other people. i wonder if anyone would cry at my funeral. i say random things when i hav no idea what 2 say. ive considered suicide in teh past. i love my friends to death, even though i hate them sometimes. i have a boyfriend who sometimes i treat like crap. and i hate that.buthe puts up with me. i dont know why. ive been having alot of "dark days" i just moved upstairs and painted my room orange. ive gone out with alot of guys. so now people think im a slut. but now i hear that people think im a goody goody. and i dont think taht is true. i dotn understand how people label themselves. i dont even know wut i would label myself, *ive tried, but i cant quite seem to fit the criteria for anything* i listen to weird music, but i am really proud of it bc it has shaped me 2 b an individual. and no, i dont care if they arent underground or indie. i hate people who try to be popular. u just look like an idiot when you do that. i swear alot. ya i hate to admit it, but i love god and god is a big part of my life. ive grown up in the chruch. ever since i can remember. ive been eatinn alot lately..an im not sure why... haha im prolly pregnant...lmao....jpjk i am a huge hypocrite. i wish i knew who i am gunna end up with. i hate myself sometimes. i hate the way i act. i hate the way i look. i cant help but think...."what if i were blonder? or skinnier? or prettier? or smarter?" ya, i make rash descisions. i hate how i look in pictures. i wish i were perfect.